Warrior Babes
The Buzz

Running With The Devil
 
By William Miller
 
Wow we never thought we'd find you. Thanks so much for taking time to talk with us.
 
D'Hoffyrn: Not a problem. I'm all about the fans.
 
What have you been up to since we've last seen you?
 
D'Hoffyrn: A lot of nothing, to be honest. Some supermarket openings. A few convention appearances. I'm guest hosting next month on Talk Soup. And I'm doing some dubbing work for Digimon so that keep's me busy.
 
Wow. That's surprising. So your profile hasn't been raised in the demon community since your appearance on the show?
 
D'Hoffyrn: Y'know, love it or hate it, television is still the best way to reach a lot of people. The appearances have definitely raised my Q rating.
 
What's a Q rating?
 
D'Hoffyrn: Exactly, my friend. Exactly. Hollywood hasn't exactly been beating down the extradimensional walls.
 
That sounds pretty depressing.
 
D'Hoffyrn: It's not that bad. I'm fielding a few offers now but most of it is that reality-based television crap. They want to host this Survivor spinoff set in Hell, but I dunno. Why would anyone care? I live for the work y'know? Everything else is distraction.
 
Right. What attracted you to Willow as a good potential vengeance demon?
 
D'Hoffyrn: Good question. She's so cute that I hoped no one would ever suspect the magnitude of her power. She seemed pretty steamed when I first recruited her, but she's gone soft again and that's a little disappointing. Sadly, love kills vengeance, which is why I live alone. The offer is still on the table, however.
 
How did Anya rank among the vengeance demons you've worked with?
 
D'Hoffyrn: She was really great to work with actually. A lot of times you give these demons an inch, and they take a mile. But not her. Always professional, punctual, the whole bit. Those were the good times.
 
Why won't you give Anya back her powers?
 
D'Hoffyrn: It's a complicated issue. Let's just say unions are involved and well you don't cross the unions get what I'm saying?
 
Understood. Have there been any famous women throughout history who were actually vengeance demons?
 
D'Hoffyrn: Oprah's been an esquisite vengeance demon. Never in my wildest dreams did I think one woman could make so many men miserable with all that "getting to know your spirit" mumbo jumbo. Also, the Olsen twins. Remarkable.
 
What's the most nasty vengeance punishment you've dished out?
 
D'Hoffyrn: My favorites have always been more subtle. Let's just say that when Hillary gets the keys to the Oval Office, my greatest revenge will be complete.
 
Is Alanis Morrisette a vengeance demon?
 
D'Hoffyrn: Well, duh.
 
Enough of this supernatural nonsense, let's get real for a minute. If you weren't spending an eternity as a chaos demon, what would you be doing with your life?
 
D'Hoffyrn: My mother wanted me to be a rabbi. I considered going into real estate for a while and I used to deejay.
 
Deejay? Really? Okay, floor filler.
 
D'Hoffyrn: The Charlie Daniels Band. Man I haven't heard that song for years I sorta fell into this demon thing and I haven't looked back.
 
Other than vengeance, what is D'Hoffyrn all about?
 
D'Hoffryn: Honesty. Passion. Hair care products. I'm kidding on that last one.
 
What's it like in that empty dimension where you live? Are there any movie theaters or hot stands or anything?
 
D'Hoffyrn: It's kinda boring but not too bad. Eating is a big problem. There's a really great Thai place about two blocks away, but other than that you're looking at a three hundred year cab ride to get to anything decent.
 
What do you and those other demons talk about all day and night, for all eternity?
 
D'Hoffyrn: Lately we've been working on a suitable punishment for nosey reporters. Hey, where are you going? It's a joke. I kid because I'm a kidder.

Loser Takes All
 
By Brenda Starr
 
David Nabbit shares his favorite dungeons and dragons tips and spills the beans on his adventures with Angel Investigations.
 
Thanks so much for inviting me over, Mr Nabbit it's a treat.
 
David: A treat? Wow. That's the nicest thing a woman's ever said about being invited into my home.
 
Oh I can't imagine that's true.
 
David: No it pretty much is. I get a lot of "Where's your silverware drawer?" Once in a while, an "I take payment up front for the first hour." Can we forget I said that last one?
 
Modest and funny. I'm sure you're a regular stud.
 
David: Not really. Women mostly...would you like some more Mr Pibb?
 
At this point David uncermoniously dumps a pitcher of soda into my lap.
 
David: Oh gosh, I'm really sorry. Let me get that.
 
The next thing I know, the nozzle of a Wet-Dry Vac is heading toward my crotch, slurping up the beverage.
 
Um...that's not really necessary.
 
David: I'm...I'm sorry. I'm just nervous. Really nervous.
 
Right so your resume lists "Titan Of Industry" and "cutting edge programming genius." Now you're adding  "demon hunter" as well?
 
David: Yeah I've been helping out Angel and the gang on a lot of their cases.
 
Really?
 
David: No. Not really. I mostly show up. Sometimes.
 
You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Attendance is a big part of battling evil.
 
David: Oh, it absolutely is! I don't mean to downplay my role. When they need bags of money or computers, or even fresh bagels, I'm glad to help out. They do great work.
 
I understand you've personally benefited from some of that "great work." Care to discuss it?
 
David: N-n-n-Not especially. Where did you hear that?
 
Some of my research.
 
Suddenly David starts to spit water from his nose.  I make sure not to bring up his recent "indiscretion" again.
 
Any truth to the rumor that Cordelia Chase might be growing into more than just a demon fighting colleague?
 
David: Cordelia? Maybe. Who knows? Only Gindak knows the future.
 
Uh...who's Gindak? He's this demon spawn in the fourth edition of Forgotten Realms, and you travel seven days through the Sallow Foothills to reach him, and if you present him with the proper offering, he predicts your future.
 
David...
 
David: When we played it last week, my Dungeon Master tried to trick me into offering my Bag of Holding, but I needed to offer up the Vandal's Candle.
 
David...
 
David: The Vandal's Castle was under the Bed of Sleeping in the Silent Ogre's fortress and I had to take apart my armor to squeeze under the door...
 
David!
 
David: Huh? Oh. Sorry. I tend to get carried away.
 
What do you get out of role-playing games? Wouldn't you rather be having fun in the real world?
 
David: The "real world?" What's that?
 
Well, you know reality.
 
David: I'm not following you.
 
Right. Do you have any exciting new plans for the future of Nabbit Enterprises?
 
David: We're working on some new technologies. The usual flying cars, self-flushing toilets. Oh, and we hope to have our home replicator system out by next Christmas.
 
Replicator?
 
David: (Laughing) No, not really. I'm only kidding of course.
 
I don't get it.
 
David: Oh, you know. The replicator! Like on Star Trek?
 
I've never watched it.
 
David: Well, then. Who's lost touch with reality.

Whisper From The Moon
 
By Barbara Desmond
 
Thank you for taking the time to talk with me. Before we get started would you care for some blood?
 
Dru: Well you do have a lovely neck just ripe for the biting.
 
Dru I wasn't offering my neck since it would be a bit hard to get through an interview if I was all dead. I just meant that I paid a visit to the blood bank and picked up a few packets of blood. I could pop some into the microwave.
 
Dru: Now aren't you a sweet one. Yes my dear I'd love some blood all warm and bubbling to fill up my tummy.
 
So how are you these days or I guess I should say nights without Spike by you side?
 
Dru: My dear boy is gone and the moon told me that he's lost to me forever. No more family just me and Miss Edith. Daddy is brimming with goodness and Spike has been infected too. Loving the Slayer and stealing my playmates away. All alone with the worms that wriggle and the stars laugh and bleed throughout the day.
 
So are you seeing anyone special?
 
Dru: No but I am looking for someone special to give my eternal kiss to. There aren't too many brave knights in the land nowadays. Do you know of anyone perhaps.
 
Sorry Dru but I'm on the lookout for myself. It is so hard to find a good man I agree but I tend to prefer an alive one instead of a dead one although I'm open since I must admit that I wouldn't kick Angel or Spike for that matter out of my bed.
 
Dru: How about we look together? How do you feel about eternal life? If you're dead too you won't mind having a dead love to spend eternity with. We could be a family with you as my daughter. We could be two girls on the prowl out to have a spot of fun.
 
Gee that's really sweet but I'm not sure that I like the idea of being around for an eternity. It sounds like a lonely existence and all that death.
 
Dru: Oh my sweet you're making me all hungry with all your talk. Wouldn't it be just delicious to kill and maim and strike terror into hearts and pluck out hearts and other wicked things?
 
Hey no vamp face Dru. I told you that no biting was allowed.
 
The interview came to a screeching halt when Dru decided to snack on the interviewer. Luckily only a pint of blood or so was drained before Dru was pulled off. She left me with a scar to remember her by that now wasn't that sweet of her? I don't think I'll be talking to that girl again anytime soon.

The Vampire With A Soul
 
By Barbara Desmond
 
Angel thank you for granting me this interview. You are a most unique vampire since you were cursed with a soul. Being familiar with your history in an ironic twist of fate becoming a vampire and being cursed turned you into a better man in a strange way.
 
Angel: Well I do have a purpose which I didn't have when I was human. I wasted my human life with whores and drinking. I never thought of my life until it was much too late although there may be a light at the end of the tunnel.
 
Oh do you mean that prophecy that Wesley found about Shanshuing?
Angel: Yeah that gives me hope but it's not like I'm getting older so I'll continue what I'm doing. I'm probably the only person living in LA that looks forward to growing old.
 
Well it must be hard to care about people only to have them grow old and die on you and you remain the same.
 
Angel: Yeah immortality can suck but there are some advantages since you get to watch the evolution of things and the inventions are just amazing. So many things available that weren't before.
 
A very reliable source told me that you gave up your chance to be mortal and with the love of your life Buffy.
 
Angel: I have the memory of that one perfect day when I got to go out into the sunlight. It will always live in my memory but I knew that I couldn't take that gift even though I was tempted. I couldn't bear the thought of being responsible for Buffy's death because I couldn't properly defend myself and she was worrying about me. I have so much to make up for if I even can make up for it but I'm going to keep trying.
 
Well you've done a lot of good so I'm confident you'll earn your chance to become human. You recently made another major sacrifice in giving up your son. That was such a selfless thing to do.
 
Angel: It just broke my heart to see the life go out of him and just to have him give up on life. So much was stolen from Connor so I gave him what he wanted most in the world and what I couldn't give him. I can at least take some comfort in sparing him so much pain. I'll be able to check on him though so I can at least watch him from a distance. This is for the best and anyway it's about time that evil law firm does something good for a change.
 
So what are your thoughts about Buffy and Spike? Maybe I shouldn't ask just tell me to shut up if it's too painful.
 
Angel: Well I don't really know what to think since I haven't been around but it's strange to say the least. I mean this guy actually got his soul back on purpose and gave his life to save the world so he was obviously a very different man from the one I knew. I guess I don't know what to think but I'm grateful for his sacrifice since he saved us all and Buffy as well and the world continues to turn and I continue to help in whatever way I can.

Becoming Human
 
By Barbara Desmond
 
Shortly before her death I was lucky enough to have a little chat with Anya.
 
Thanks for taking the time to talk to me especially with everything that's going on.
 
Anya: Well I had nothing better to do and those Slayer wannabees were getting on my nerves.
 
Come on admit it Anya you care about humans and you're sticking around this time certainly proves that? You've come a long way from being newly human and leaving to avoid the whole graduation apocalypse.
 
Anya: You know it's ironic how this whole thing came about I was all happy as a demon and next thing ya know I'm mortal and all helpless. It made matters even stranger when I started having feelings for Xander. I'm not sure if I should hate him or thank him for that. Hey this part is off the record right?
 
Sure no problem. Come on you don't really hate him do you? I don't think you ever could am I right?
 
Anya: Ok I admit it I am still madly in love with him even after everything that's happened.
 
Sorry Anya I just had to keep this in so don't come and haunt me when this is published. I just want to public to know the whole Anya and get the complete picture. The public should know that she died as a hero saving the life of another and dying in his place. There is no greater sacrifice and she should be remembered and honored for that most heroic of deeds.
 
So Anya do you regret becoming human again after your brief return to being a demon?
 
Anya: Well I do feel really bad about Halfrek dying since she was my oldest and dearest friend. She stood by me even when the other demons were calling me Soft Serve but now as I look back on it I realize they were right. I don't know if the human stuff got embedded in me since the last time around as a demon didn't seem to take. It wasn't fun anymore and my heart just wasn't in it like it was for all those years. I guess falling in love had a big part in that. I just have these thoughts and feelings that have become a part of me and just can't seem to shake even after Xander jilted me at the aisle. However I have forgiven him and I think I understand why he did it although I don't want anyone to know this.
 
Well you've certainly come a long way. I bet you miss the Magic Box? Do you have plans to rebuild once this latest battle is over provided there is a here when the battle is over?
 
Anya: Well I do miss the store and doing my money dance each night by the register. The website has remained up and mail order sales have been great otherwise I'd be living in a box although right now I'm pretty much at Buffy's all the time anyway but you really need some alone time. I still have my apartment for when I want to have some alone time and when Xander and I well you just never mind what I said about that. I don't think it's totally out of the question for the Magic Box to reopen but I guess it depends on Giles too since he's my silent partner and I suppose he should have some say in the matter too.
 
Unfortunately this won't be happening since the town of Sunnydale is no more. Sadly this interview was never finished. She had to run off upon hearing about Xander. She will be missed since she was one of a kind. Look back on her fondly and smile at the fact that she helped in saving the world and gave her life for a cause bigger than herself.

From Nerd To SuperVillian Back Again
 
I was able to get this interview since Andrew was getting on everyone's nerves so I was welcomed with open arms and Andrew was only to happy to spill his guts.
 
Which do you prefer being a bad guy or a good guy?
 
Andrew: The thought of being a SuperVillian was a lot cooler in my head since in reality it was pretty awful. Getting in touch with my dark side was pretty darn scary. I have been completely reformed. I won't ever be able to wash the blood from my hands but I'm determined to be good. I can't bring my best friend back but I can do good and most likely die in this upcoming battle. I refuse to be a coward although I am terrified.
 
I realize this is a little personal but did you have a little crush on Warren? You just seemed a bit dazzled by him and his leadership.
 
Andrew: A crush? Well uh I don't think I'd call it a crush since I like girls and all but I was just taken in by his presence which was so overwhelming. He just tapped into my dark side and it came oozing out. I really don't like to think about it because it reminds me of what I did. I sometimes think that it was just a nightmare but I know it wasn't. Sometimes it's good to stray into the world of fantasy because reality can be pretty scary and not at all fun.
 
I hope you didn't get the wrong idea I didn't mean a crush in a sexual way. I personally don't understand the appeal but to each his own.
 
Andrew: He had this hypno quality about him and I just wanted to be known for myself not just being lameo Tucker's brother. I know now that I totally went about it the wrong way. I'm just glad that I had this time with the Scoobies. Now these are good people and those girls are so brave. It must be amazing to be part of something so very important. I just feel honored to be a part of it in a small way. I keep up moral and I bake.
 
So are you prepared for the fight that's coming even though it's likely you won't make it? No offense but you're not exactly a skilled fighter.
 
Andrew: No offense taken. I know that this will be the final chapter for me but I am facing it bravely and hopefully I won't get sent to Hell for what I've done. I hope that this helps make up for the part I had in this even though I was an unwitting pawn. I am ready to do why I can even lose my life if it comes to that which is probably will. I just hope that I take a few of the monsters down with me.
 
As we know now he was one of the survivors. His life was saved by the heroic actions of Anya. Now he has that chance to do good and I wish him well.  

Attention all you creative types and journalists. Do you have the interview of the century? A interview with Angel perhaps or any one of the other fascinating members of the Scoobies, Angel Investigations or the demon realms? If so email me the interview and I will put it up here with the others. Send email to tinkerbellgrrl8@yahoo.com and mark the subject Interviews. Thanks!