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Computer Teacher
Jenny
She came in as the computer teacher
Catching the librarian's eye
Like others a secret she did keep
Her people cast the curse eons agon
Sent to watch over Angel
Got involved with the Scoobies
Fell in love with Giles
Her betrayal ripped asunder
Wanting to make things right
The techno Pagan did some research
Found the Spell of Restoration
Excited by the prospect she agrees
To meet Rupert later at his place
Hopes dashed when he appeared
Getting his invite into the school
Angelus came and chased her down
Snapped her neck and oh so cruelly
Set her up for Giles to find
Enraged in grief sending him storming off
To get himself killed in the process
While fighting Angelus in hopes of killing him
True Love
No matter how hard they fought
Love grew between these two
A Slayer and Vampire all cozy
When you kiss me I want to die
The hurt in his soul was eased
Smoochies in the cemetary
Under the light of the moon
Unaware of the pain to come
When true happiness is reached
Unlucky In Love
First he met Buffy
The new girl come to twon
Made his heart go pitter pat
Feelings not returned such a bummer
A subsitutue teacher caught his eye
Turned out to be a giant bug
Nearly swallowed him whole
A foreign exchange student arrives
Turning his head
A beauty that liked him too
Such a shame she was a mummy girl
Narrowly missed being sucked dry
Spoiled Moment
Just the two of them
Out for a stroll
Having some ice cream
Playing dumb games
A boring summer
No monsters and stuff
Actually looking forward to school
Mocking with his ice cream
Giving her a tasty yet cold nose
Just about to kiss
A moment spoiled
By a leering vampire
Helpful Tip: Cross don't leave home without it.
Cordelia's Summer Vacation
It was a nightmare a total nightmare. I mean they promised me they'd take me to St Croix and then they just decide to go to Tuscany. Art and buildings. I was totally beachless for a month and a half. No one has suffered like I have suffered. Of course I think that kind of adversity builds character well then I thought I already have a lot of character. Is it possible to have too much character?
Absalom
We have been put down kinsmen. We have lost our way. We have lost the night but despair is for the living. Where they are weak we will be strong. Where they weep we rejoice. Where they bleed we drink. Within three days a new hope will arise. We will put our faith in him. He will show us the way.
Oh come on you can tell us we're your bosom friends the friends of your bosom. Xander
Meow!
Well that works out great you won't tell anyone that I'm the Slayer. I won't tell anyone you're a moron.
Helpful Tip: The ice cream on the nose won't work a second time since the moment has been broken forever.
The Dance
She's back in town
Ready to slay
Nightmares plague her sleep
Acts like a real meanie
To make him jealous
She dances with another
Gone on to the living
Does a sexy dance
Reallying enjoying himself
Xander gets stranded on the dance floor
Cordelia's Advice
Buffy. You're really campaigning for bitch of the year aren't you? I can hold my own. You know we've never really been close which is nice because I don't really like you that much but you have on occasion saved the world and stuff so let me do you a favor. I'm gonna give you some advice. Get over it. Whatever's causing the Joan Collings tude deal with it embrace the pain. Spank your inner moppet whatever. But get over it because pretty sure you're not going to even have the loser friends you got now.
Taken
One by one
They get taken
Only those near
Standing by the Hellmouth
Where he was killed
Able to work her issues out
Grounding the master's bones
Into talcum powder
Things are worked out
Facing those dearest
After her bitchitude
Back to normal
Chatting with her buds
A bitca? Xander
You know being stalked isn't really a big turn on for girls. Buffy
Bitchy Slayer
Think you can take me? Come on I mean you must have thought about it what would happen if it every came down to a fight you vampire me the Slayer. You must have wondered. Why don't we find out. Come on kick my ass.
Helpful Tip: Put a cross down a vampire's throat for a bit of fun torture.
Cordelia's Ordeal
What an ordeal and you know what the worst part is it stays with you forever. No matter what they tell you none of that rust, and blood, and grunge comes out. I mean you can dryclean until Judgement Day you're living with those stains.
Are you crazy you don't just sneak up on people in a graveyard. You make noise when you walk. You stomp or yoddle
Yodel
A type of wordless singing joyous in nature, usually associated with the Swiss. It is, in fact, practiced throughout the Alps, and as an importation, in the mountains of Kentucky. It is characterized by sudden shifts from the natural singing voice to falsetto.
Source: Columbia Encyclopedia
Gee I wish people wouldn't leave open graves laying around like this. Buffy
Helpful Tip: Be careful when walking in a graveyard since you could end up in an open grave.
Practice, Practice, Practice!
What I'm proposing is um and I don't mean to appear indecitrous is uh uh a social engagement a a date if you're amenable. You idiot!
Buffy's Advice
Hey I have a thing. You maybe have a thing. Maybe we can have a thing. I'm not finished then you say how do you feel about Mexican? Mexican food. You take her for food for which you than pay.
Cordelia On The Science Fair
Ok I'm doing this under protest it's not fair that they're making participation in this year's Science Fair mandatory. I don't think anyone should have to do anything educational in school if they don't want to.
The Tomato: Fruit Or Vegetable?
Plant Lycopersicon esculentum of the Family Solanacae (nightshade family), related to the potato and eggplant. Although cultivated in Mexico and Peru for centuries before the European conquest, the tomato is one of the newest plants to be used on a large scale for human food. When the Spanish explorers brought back seed from South America, the plant was merely grown for ornament; it was known as the love apple. Though the fruit was described as a salad ingredient before 1600, it was commonly regarded as posionous, and only within the last century has it become recognized as a valuable food. Indeed, all parts of the plant but the fruit are toxic. It was reintroduced to the United States as a food plant c1800 and now ranks third among our vegetable crops. It is very popular as a salad vegetable, yet three quarters of the crop, is now processed into juice, canned tomatoes, soups, catsup, and tomato paste. It is the most widely used canned vegetable. Numerous varieties ranging from the small cherry tomato to the large beefstake are cultivated in practically all parts of the United States except the warmest regions. One of the most worst tomato pests is the cut worm. Tomato-seed oil (from waste of canning processes) is sometimes extracted, cheifly in Italy. An antibiotic, tomatine, is also extracted from the seed. Technically the tomato is a fruit, although it is commonly considered a vegetable because of its uses. The tomato is classified in the division Magnoliophyta, class Magnoliopsida, order Solanales, family Solanaceae.
Source: Columbia Encyclopedia
Body Parts
Graves dug up
Parts are taken
Out to make a girl
Searching for a head
To complete the package
Freshness is key
Cordelia Chase the winner
A girlfriend for Darryl Eps
Brought back from death
By his loving brother
Making a girl so he won't be alone
Ended up in flames
Along with the girl
Minus the head
Still firmly attached
To the body of Cordelia
Helpful Tips: Hiding in a dumpster may sound like a good idea at the time but be prepared to find major grossness since you could end up with body parts around you. Take a bath and burn your clothes when you get home.
Xander's Thoughts
People don't fall in love with what's right in frong of them. People want the dream, what they can't have. The more unattainable the more attractive.
Jenny On Dates
Although a good rule of thumb for a first date is don't do anything so exciting that it'll be hard to top on the second date.
This shouldn't take long I'm probably the only girl in school who has the coroner's office bookmarked as a favorite place. Willow
Giles' Theories
Here's what I came up with demons who eat the flesh of the dead to absorb their souls or it could obviously be a voodoo practioner. Zombies more likely for most traditional purposes a voodoo priest would require more than one.
Powdered donuts make an excellent snack to those late night field trips to the graveyard.
Love makes you do the wacky. Willow
Sorry but I'm an old fashioned gal. I was raised to believe that men dug up the corpses and women have the babies.
 
New In Town
Came to town
Knocked the sign down
Tracked down the big noise
Dru and Spike are moving in
Offers to kill the Slayer
White blonde hair and a sexy accent
Dark haired beauty by his side clearly insane
You were there please if every vampire who said he was at the crucifixtion was actually there it would have been like Woodstock. I was actually at Woodstock that was a weird gig. I fed off a flower person and I spent the next six hours watching my hand move. So who do you kill for fun around here?
You got Slayer problems that's a bad piece of luck. You know what I find works real good with Slayers killing them. A lost faster than Nancy boy there. Yeah I did a few Slayers in my time I don't like to brag. Who am I kidding I love to brag. There was this one Slayer during the Boxer Rebellion and...
Do you like daisies? I plant them but they always die. Everything I put in the ground withers and dies.
Parent Teacher Night
Punished by Synder
Exerting his power
Forced to host
Whisking mom away
Avoiding pesky teachers
He finally caught up
Looking pretty mad
Ready to go home
An unexpected surprise
Bunch of vampires
Buffy kept her cool
Saving lives
Scoring major points with mom
Holding her own with axe in hand
Get the hell away
From my dauhgter
Is what she said
Yeah I'll whittle stakes. And while I'm whittling I plan to whistle a jaunty tune. Xander
Angel On Spike
He's worse. Once he starts something he doesn't stop until everything in his path is dead.
Miss Edith speaks out of turn. She's a bad example and will have no cakes today. Dru
I think sometimes that all my hair will fall out and I'll be bald. Dru
Spike: Known as William the Bloody earned his nickname by torturing his victims with railroad spikes. He's barely 200. Spike has fought two Slayers in the past century and he's killed them both.
Helpful Tips: When making lemonade don't forget to add sugar. If you can't knock a door down by ramming into it use an axe. Always carry aspirin in case of a headache.
Cordelia's Prayer
And if you get me out of this I swear I'll never be mean to anyone every again unless they really deserve it or it's that time of the month in which case I don't think you or anyone else can hold me responsible. And can you please send some asp...Hey!
Buffy's Thoughts On Having An Exchange Student At Her House
This is so unfair. It's the ubersuck. Mom could have at least warned me. A complete stranger in my house for two weeks. I'm gonna be insane a danger to myself and others in three days I swear.
Xander's Thoughts
I think the student exchange program is cool. I do it's a beautiful melding of two cultures. My dad tried to send me to some Armenians once does that count?
The Mummy Girl
A field trip to the museum
Scary shrivled mummy
Was all too aware
Found her way out
The seal was broken
Sucked him dry
To the bus station she went
Sucking the life from the real Ampada
Taking his place
Catchs Xander's eye
The feelings were mutual
Off to the dance they go
The truth came out
Desperate for a life
Nearly freeze dried him too
The Incan Princess
Five hundred years ago the Incan people chose a beautiful teenage girl to become their princess. The Incan people sacrificed their princess to the mountain god Sama Kaya an offering buried alive for eternity in this dark tomb. The princess remained there protected only by the cursed seal placed there as a warning to any who thought to wake her.
Mummy
A dead human or animal preserved by embalming or by unusual natural conditions. As a rule mummies are from ancient times. The word is of Arabic derivation and refers primarily to the burials found in Egypt, where the practice of mummification was perfected over the centuries to an extreme of elaboration. Investigations of mummified remains have grown increasingly sophisticated with advances in dating techniques and forensic science. Mummies provide clues to everyday life through such items as clothing, tools, and tattoos. Stomach contents may reveal data on subsistence and the local ecology. Trace-element analysis of hair can reveal exposure to toxic elements (e.g., mercury and lead). Causes of death and active and inactive disease processes can often be ascertained and sometimes point to murder or ritual sacrifice. Mummies can yield blood and DNA samples providing valuable medical and genetic information.
Source: Columbia Encyclopedia
Buffy I love Willow I mean she's my best friend which makes her not the kind of girl who I think about her lips that much. She's the kind of girl I'm best friends with. Xander
One day I'm gonna live in an town where evil curses are just generally rulled out without thinking. Buffy
Legend has it that he guards the mummy against those who would disturb her.
Twinkies And Being Strange
And this is called a snack food. Yeah it's a delicious spongey golden cake stuffed with a delightful creamy white substance of goodness and here's how you eat it. That's why you bring two. Good huh and the exciting part is that they have no ingredients a human can pronounce so it doesn't leave you with a heavy food feeling in your stomach. Girls always tell me that right before they run away. I like you like it. Please don't learn from my English.
Well you know I have a choice I can spend my life waiting for Xander to go out with every other girl in the world until he notices me or I can just get on with my life. Well I didn't choose yet. Willow
The Incan Princess
They told her that she was the only one. That only she could defend her people from the netherworld. Out of all the girls in her generation she was the only one. She was sixteen like us. She was offered as a sacrifice and went to her death. Who knows what she had to give up to fulfill her duty to others. What chance at love?
If you want life than you're gonna have to take mine. Can you do that? Xander
Eskimos
Traditionally most groups relied on sea mammals for food, illumination, cooking oil, tools, and weapons. Fish and caribou were next in importance in their economy. The practice of eating raw meat, disapproved of by their Native American neighbors, saved scarce fuel and provided their limited diet with essential nutritional elements that cooking would destroy. Except for the Caribou Eskimos of central Canada, they were a littoral people who roved inland in the summer for freshwater fishing and game hunting.
Eskimos traditionally used various types of houses. Tents of caribou skins or sealskins provided adequete summer dwellings; in colder seasons shelter was constructed of sod, driftwood, or sometimes stone, placed over excavated floors. Among some Eskimo groups the snow hut was used as a winter residence. More commonly however, such structures were used as temporary overnight shelters during journeys. The dogsled was used for the hauling of heavy loads over long distances, made necessary by the Eskimos nomadic hunting life. Their skin canoe known as a kayak, is one of the most highly maneuverable small craft ever constructed. Hunting technologies included several types of harpoons, the bow and arrow, knives and fish spears and weirs. While iron and guns have come into common use in the 20th century, previously weapons were crafted ivory, bone, copper, or stone. Their clothing was sewn largely of caribou hide and included parkas, breeches, mittens, snow goggles, and boots. Finely crafted items such as needles, combs, awls, figurines, and decorative carvings on weapons were executed with the bow drill.
Source: Columbia Encyclopedia 
Willow's Explains The Hindu Movie
She's sad because her lover gave her twelve gold coins but then the wizard cut open the bag of salt. Now the dancing minions have nowhere to put their big Maypole fish thing. (Lover?) Cause of that thing he did with her feet no that was personal.
And we thought just because we didn't have no money or no place to go that this would be a lack luster evening.
Helpful Tips: If you have no money bring tea bags to the Bronze and ask for hot water. Coffee is the non relationship drink of choice.
Cordy On Men And Fashion
Dr Debi Tips
1. When a man is speaking you make serious eye contact, and you really really listen.
2. And you laugh at everything he says. Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
Do's And Don'ts Of Going Out With Cordy
1. Don't wear black, silk, shiffon, or spandex. These are my trademarks.
2. And don't do that weird thing with your hair.
3. Do be interested if someone should speak to you. It may or may not happen.
4. But do be polite. And laugh at the appropriate intervals. Ha Ha Ha Ha
The Watcher Lectures
Just because the paranormal is more normal and less para of late is no excuse for tardiness or letting your guard down. Oh really you yawned your way through weapons training last week. You you have skipped hand to hand entirely. Are you gonna be prepared if a demon springs up behind you and does this. Well I'm not a demon which is why you should let go now. When you live on top of a mystical convergence it's only a matter of time before a fresh Hell breaks loose. Now is the time that you should train more strictly. You should hunt and patrol more keenly. You should hone your skills day and night.
No I think you don't know what's it like to be sixteen and a girl and the Slayer. Or what it's like to have to stake vampires when you've having fuzzy feelings towards one. Buffy
Who needs a social life when you got your very own Hellmouth. Buffy
You know people underestimate the value of a good ramble.
This isn't some fairy tale. When I kiss you you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after. Angel
No when you kiss me I want to die. Buffy
Frat Party
Wanting a night off
She lies to her Watcher
Agrees to go with Cordelia
Not sure about it
Xander comes uninvited
Through the windom
Treated as a pledge
Dressed as a girl
Takes the plunge
Has herself a drink
Knocked out cold
Woke in chains
A giant snake
Needing to slay
The captives were saved
Young men are the only way to go. Cordelia
Buffy On Dates
A date so I did I but who am I kidding dates are things normal girls have. Girls who have time to think about nail polish and facials. You know what I think about ambush tactics, beheading not exactly the stuff that dreams are made of.
Halloween
October 31 the eve of All Saints Day, observed with traditonal games and customs. The word comes from Medieval England's All Hallow's Eve (Old English hallow="saint". However, many of these customs predate Christianity, going back to Celtic practices associated with November 1 the beginning of winter and the Celtic new year. Witches (HEY!!!!) and other evil spirits were believed to roam the earth on this evening, playing tricks on human beings to mark the season of diminishing sunlight. Bonfires were lit, offerings were made of dainty foods and sweets, and people would disguise themselves as one of the roaming spirits, to avoid demonic persecution. Survivals of these early practices can be found in countries of Celtic influence today, such as the United States where children go from door to door demanding "trick or treat."
Source: Columbia Encyclopedia
Sneaking Around
Unsure about his type
An idea is had
The Watcher's Diaries
Full of fun facts to know and tell
Makes her way in
But finds her there
Providing a distraction
She waves her on in
With a little coaxing she grabs the book
Off they go to read it
Learning the dish about Angel
Willow On The Girl In The Book
Come on she's not that pretty and look at her she has a funny waist. Look how tiny that is. No she's a freak, a circus freak yuck.
Look Buffy you may be hot stuff when it comes to demonology or whatever but when it comes to dating I am the Slayer. Cordelia
Buffy On The Point Of Halloween
It's come as you aren't at night a perfect chance for a girl to get sexy and wild with no repercussions.
Miss Edith needs her tea. Do you love my insides the parts you can't see? Dru
Eyeballs to entrail my sweet. Spike
You know what I miss? Leeches.
Enchant Costumes
The word that denises thee thou inhabit. The peace that ignores thou corrupt. Chaos, I remain as ever, your faithful degenerate servant. Janus hear my plea. Take this as your own. Come forth and show us your truth. The mask is made flesh. The heart is curdled by your holy presence. Janus this night is yours.
Switching
Halloween has come
A time to dress up
Something weird happens
A spell is cast
Changing people into their costumes
Little demons running around
With a soldier and his real gun
A 18th century girl
Left totally helpless
The perfect time to strike
With a sexy outfit underneath
A big boo on her chest
The spell was broken
She tossed off the sheet
Catching a cute guy's eye
Wondering who she is
Xander's Trick Or Treat Tips
Ok on sleazing extra candy tears are key. Tears will normally get you the double bagger. You can also try the old you missed me routine but it's risky only go there for chocolate understood. Ok troops let's move out.
Big noise scare monster remember. Xander
Amnesia
Condition characterized by loss of memory for long or short intervals of time. It may be caused by injury, shock, senility, severe disease, or mental disease. Some cases of amnesia involve the unconscious suspression of a painful experience and everything remindful of it including the individual's identity. Retrograde amnesia is loss of events just preceding temporary loss of consciousness, as from head injury; it is evidence that memory proceeds in two stages, short term and long term. One form of the condition known as tropic amnesia, or coast memory, affecting white men in the tropics, is probably a variety of hysteria. Aphasia of the amnesic variety is caused by an organic brain condition and is not to be confused with other forms of amnesia. To cure amnesia attempts are made to establish assoications with the past by suggestion and hypnosis is sometimes employed.
Source: Columbia Encyclopedia
Angel On The Girls Of The Past
I hated the girls back then especially the noble women. They are just incredibly dull, simpering morons the lot of them. I always wished I could meet someone exciting and interesting.
Cordy On Marie Antoinette
I just don't see why everyone's always picking on Marie Antoinette. I can so relate to her. She worked really hard to look that good and people just don't appreciate that kind of efford and I know the peasants were all depressed. (I think you mean oppressed.) Whatever! They were cranky. So they were like let's lose some heads, that's fair and Marie Antoinette cared about them. She was going to let them have cake.
Marie Antoinette 1755-1793
The Queen of France and the wife of King Louis XVI and daughter of Austrian Archducchess Maria Theresa and Holy Roman Emporor FrancisI. She was married in 1770 to the dauphin, who became king in 1774. Her marriage had been made to strengthen France's alliance with its long time enemy, Austria. The union, however, was not altogether popular, and Marie Antoinette's actions only increased hostility toward her. She constantly sought the advice of the Austrian ambassador and attempted to influence French foreign policy in favor of Austria. Unhappy in her marriage, which remained unconsummated for seven years, she surrounded herself with a dissolute clique, led by Yolande de Polignac and Marie Therese de Lamballe, and threw herself into a life of pleasure and careless extravagance. Her notorious reputation led to scandals such as the Affair of the Diamond Necklace and to rumors concerning her relations with officers of the guard and with Hans Axel Fersen. The famous solution to the bread famine, "Let them eat cake," is unjustly attributed to the queen, but it is certain that Marie Antoinette lacked understanding of economic problems. With the birth of her first son, her life became more sedate. Although she had contributed to the downfall of A.R.J. Turgot in 1776 and was hostile to Jacques Necker, her influence on the king's decisions during the first two years of the French Revolution (1789-91) has been exaggerated. She was brought with the king from Versailles to Paris in October of 1789 and was seized at Varennes when the royal family attempted to escape in 1791. Despite her hatred of the Revolution, the apathy of the king forced her to conduct negotiations first with teh comte de Mirabeau, then with Antoine Barnave. Simultaneoulsy, however, she secretly urged Austrian intervention; after war was declared, she fully identified the cause of the Bourbon dynasty with that of France. After the storming of the Tuileries palace in August of 1792, she and her husband were removed to the Temple and accused of treason. The king was executed in January of 1793. Marie Antoinette's son was taken from her and she was transferred to the Conciergerie. Known derisively as the "Widow Capet," she was tried before the Revolutionary Tribunal (Oct 14-15, 1793) and was found guilty, and guillotined on October 16. In her last misfortunes she displayed steadfastness, courage, serenity, and dignity.
Source: Columbia Encyclopedia
Buffy's Little Secret: She like Oreos dunked in apple juice.
I'm so the net girl. Willow
Angel On Simpler Times
It used to be pretty simple. A hundred years hanging out feeling guilty really honingm y brooding skills. And then she comes along. Yeah I get jealous.
Nasty pointy bitey ones
The Lonely Ones
So many people have that conception but they who walk with the night are not interested in harming anyone. They are creatures above us. You don't have to be so confrontational about other view points than yours may be valid you know.
Angel's Diatribe
I've seen enough. I've seen this type before. They're children making up bedtime stories of friendly vampires to comfort themselves in the dark. These people don't know anything about vampires what they are, how they live, how they dress...
Jealous
Giant fifth grade crush
Came into town
Hanging with the gang
Sharing some tales
Knows a secret
Something not right
Angel enlists help
To find what's what
Dying of a brain tumor
Dying young
Looking pretty
Makes a deal
Hand over the Slayer
Gifted with eternal life
Nothing left
But a pile of dust
Angel Admits He Gets Jealous
She's called Drusilla the sometime parmour of Spike. She was killed by an angry mob in Prague.
Angel On Drusilla
I did a lot of unconscionable things when I became a vampire. Drusilla was the worst. She was an obsesssion of mine. She was pure and sweet and chaste. First I made her insane, killed everybody she loved. Visited every mental torture on her I could devise. She eventually fled to a convent. On the day she took her holy orders I turned her into a demon.
What I see is that right after the sun goes down Spike and all of his friends are gonna be pigging out at the all you can eat moron bar. Buffy
I am trying to save you. You are playing in some serious traffic here do you understand that? You're going to die and the only hope you have of surviving this is to get out of this pit right now and my god could you have a dorkier outfit? Buffy
Nothing's ever simple anymore. I'm constantly trying to work it out who to love or hate, who to trust. It's just like the more I know the more confused I get. Buffy
Giles Lies
Yes it's terribly terrible simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true. The bad guys easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats. You always defeat them and save the day. No one dies and everybody lived happily ever after.
Wonderful you work on your muscle tone while my brain dribbles out of my ears. Giles
Ooh gang did you hear that a bonus day of class plus Cordelia. Mix in a little rectal surgery and it's my best day ever.
Ways To Make Giles Squirm
1. Say you dog eared your favorite pages.
2. Say you loved the book so much that you started underlining pages.
3. You spilled coffee all over the pages.
Cordelia's Woe
Well evil just compunds evil doesn't it? First I'm sentenced to a computer tutorial on Saturday now I have to read some computer book. There are bookso n computers? Isn't the point of computers to replace books.
Giles who counts tardiness as like the eighth deadly sin? Buffy
Xander On Giles
Yep, yep I knew this would happen. Nobody can be wound so straight and narrow as Giles without a dark side erupting. My Uncle Rory was the stodgiest taxidermist you've ever met by day. By night it was booze, whores, and fur flying. Were there whores? Give it time.
A Dark Past
Dabbled in the black arts
Giving a great high
All bearing his mark
Coming back for them
Each dying one by one
Only two are left
Gains possession of Jenny
To carry out his plans
An idea was had
Send the demon into a dead guy
Destroying the demon
A glitch in a budding romance
Giles On His Past
I was twenty-one studying history at Oxford and of course the occult by night. I hated it the tedious grind of study. The overwhelming pressure of my destiny. I dropped out and went to London. Fell in with the worst crowd that would have me. We practiced magicks small stuff for pleasure or gain. And Ethan and I discovered something bigger. Yes. One of us would go um go into a deep sleep and the others would uh summon him. It was an extraordinary high. God we were fools. One of us Randall he lost control Egyhon took him whole. We tried to exorcise the demon from Randall but it killed him. We killed him. We thought we were free of the demon after that but now he's back and one by one he'll kill us all.
Helpful Tip: Don't turn your back on a professional bad guy. Also don't dabble in the black arts since it could come back and bite you on the ass big time.
What's Wrong With Buffy
Cliff notes version I want a normal life like I had before. No Angel it's not you. You're the one freaky thing in my freaky world that makes sense to me. I just get messed sometimes. I wish we could be regular kids. Ok then a regular kid and her craddle robbing creature of the night boyfriend.
Buffy Rants
You know if you don't like the way I'm doing my job why don't you find somebody else? Oh that's right there can only be one. As long as I'm alive there is no one else. Well there you go I don't have to be the Slayer I could be dead. Wouldn't be much of a change either way I'm bored, constricted, I never get to shop and my hair and fingernails continue to grow so really when you think about it what's the dif.
Opposites Attract
An unlikely pairing
As different as night and day
Passions boiled in times of danger
A kissy here and a kissy there
Groping in the broomcloset
Off to a strange start
Smooching in the library
Hit Willow like a knife in the heart
Ended with a stolen kiss
All was turned to nightmare
Thrown Together
A mutual hatred
Brought together again
Off on a mission
In the heat of danger
Declaring their hatred
They end in a kiss
So it begins
A pairing of two very opposites
Tarot
Playing cards that are used mainly for fortunetelling, sometimes called "the book of divination of the Gypsies." It is generally believed that the cards were introduced into Western Europe by the Gypsies in the mid 15th century. There is much conjecture about their origin. The pack of 78 cards is divided into the minor arcana, or 56 pictorial cards that roughly resemble the modern deck of 52 cards: wands (clubs), cups ( hearts), swords (spades), and pentacles (diamonds). Each of the four suits comprises 14 cards, 10 numbered from ace to 10 and 4 court cards king, queen, knight, and page. The 22 addtional pictorial cards, called the major arcana, are numbered from zero to 21. The pictures on the 78 cards are allegorical, representing forces of nature and the virtues or vices of man. Interpretations and ways of determining the meanings of the cards vary greatly.
Oz's Philosophy Of Animal Crackers
Oh, look a monkey he has a little hat and little pants. The monkey's the only cookie animal that gets to wear clothes. You know that? So I'm wondering do the other cooke animals feel sort of ripped? Like is the hippo goin, "Hey man, where are my pants? I have my hippo dignity." And you know that the monkey's just, "I mock you with my monkey pants." Sounds very cool in the zool. All monkeys are French you didn't know that?
Ted
Mom's new boyfriend
Caught making out
Not a good first impression
Something's not right
A computer whiz
Loves to cook
Capture's everyone's stomachs
With a special ingredient inside
His secret is revealed
Not human but a robot
Coming apart at the seams
Put on the scrap heap
Ted On Pizza
Well after you bake it you fry it in herbs and olive oil but you got to use a cast iron skillet. No room for compromise there.
Buffy's Rant
Vampires are creepy. I mean people are perfectly happy getting along and then vampires come and they run around and they kill people. And they take over your whole house making these stupid mini little pizzas.
Sigmund Frued
1856-1939 a Austrian psychiatrist, founder of psychoanalysis. Born in Moravia, he lived must of his life in Vienna, receiving his medical degree from the University of Vienna in 1881. His medical career began with an apprenticeship (1885-1886) under J.M. Charcot in Paris, and soon after his return to Vienna he began his famous collaboration with Josef Breuer on the use of hypnosis in the treatment of hysteria. Their paper, On The Psychical Mechanism Of Hysterical Phenomena (1893, tr 1909), more fully developed in Studien uber Hysterie (1895) marked the beginnings of psychoanalysis in the discovery that the symptoms of hysterical patients directly traceable to psychic trauma in earlier life represent undischarged emotional energy. The therapy called the carthartic method, consisted of having the patient recall and reproduce the forgotten scenes while under hypnosis. The work was poorly received by the medical profession, and the two men soon separated over Frued's growing conviction that the undefined energy causing conversion was sexual in nature.
Frued then rejected hypnosis and devised a technique called free association, which would allow emotionally charged material that the individual had repressed in the unconscious to emerge to conscious recognition. Further works, The Interpretation Of Dreams (1900 tr 1913), The Psychopathology Of Everyday Life (1904 tr 1914), and Three Essays On The Theory Of Sexuality (1905 tr 1910), increased the bitter antagonism toward Frued and, he worked alone until 1906, when he was joined by the Swiss psychiatrists Eugen Blueler, and C.G. Jung, the Austrian Alfred Adler, and others.
In 1908 Blueler, Frued, and Jung founded the Journal Jarhbuch fur pyschoanalytische und psychopathologische Forgschungen, and in 1909 the movement first received public recognition when Frued and Jung were invited to give a serioes of lectures at Clark University in Worchester, MA. In 1910 the International Psychoanalytical Association was formed with Jung as president, but the harmony of the movement was short-lived; between 1910 and 1913 both Jung and Adler resigned, forming their own schools in Frued's emphasis on infantile sexuality and the Oedipus complex. Although these men, and others who broke away later, objected to Fruedian theories, the basic structure of psychoanalysis as the study of the unconscious mental processes is still Fruedian. Disagreement lies largely in the degree of emphasis placed on concepts largely originated by Frued.
He considered his last contribution to psychoanalytic theory to The Ego and the Id (1923 tr 1927), after which he reverted to earlier cultural preoccupations. Totem and Taboo (1939 tr 1939) are the result of his application of psychoanyaltic theory to cultural problems. With the National Socialist occupation of Austria Frued fled (1938) to England where he died the following year.
Fruedian theory has had wide impact, influencing fields as diverse as anthropology, education, art, and literary criticism. His daughter Anna Frued, was a major proponent of psychoanalysis, devoloping in particular the Fruedian concept of the defense mechanism. Other works A General Introduction to Psychoanalysis (1910 tr 1920) and New Introductory Lectures on Psychoanalysis (1933).
Source: Columbia Encylopedia
Loneliness is about the scariest thing there is. Angel
Warning Signs That Mom's Boyfriend Is A Psycho
1. He hits his leg with his golf club really hard and it doesn't even register.
2. He says really strange things.
3. He drugs the food which causes people to act differently.
4. Be weary of someone that loves cooking. It's a red flag but doesn't make a guy a psycho.
5. Takes a picture of you and your mom and folds you out of the picture.
6. He goes through your stuff and reads your diary.
7. You get into a fight and he dies only to return from the dead.
Helpful Tips: If the psycho has you by the throat reach out for a nail file and stab him. Wearing tweed while out patrolling can come in handy if you accidentally get shot by the girl with the crossbow that has bad aim. A frying pan makes an excellent weapon when going after the psychotic robot.
The Closet
Insults fly around
Repulsed by the other
Kissing in the utility closet
Turning the light on and off
Hurling insults at one another
Doesn't like his clothes
Especially his shoes
Both turn to leave
Only to resume kissing
Sex
The sex drive in the human animal is intense. How many of us have lost countless productive hours plagued by unwanted sexual thoughts and feelings. Of course for teenagers such as yourselves these feelings are even more overwhelming with all sorts of hormones surging through your bodies compelling you to action. It's often difficult to remember that there are negative consequences to have sex. Would anyone care to offer one such consequence.
Well that depends are you talking sex in the car or out of the car because I have a friend not me that was in a Miata it was parked at the top of a hill and she kicked the gear shift.... Cordelia
You wanna talk negative consequence what about the heartbrak of Halitosis. I mean a girl may seem spiffy but if she ignores her flossing the bloom is definetely off the rose. Xander
Like that compares to kissing a guy who thinks the Hoover technique is a big turn on. Cordelia
How about having to feign interest to her vapid little chit chat just so you can get some touch. Xander
Now another consequence of sexual activity anyone? Else?
How about pregnancy that would be a major one right? Willow
Among teens unwanted pregnancy is the number one negative consequence of sexual activity.
Bad Eggs
A project for school
Eggs all around
With a nasty surprise inside
An ugly skittery bug thing
Possessing its victims
Controlling their minds
Spawn of the Bezoar
Lurking beneath the school
An ugly slimy blob with a huge eye
Tentacles to reach out and grab you
Has a vampire snack
The Slayer hacks it to bits
What Vampires Can't Do
1. Work for the Red Cross because the temptation is too great. They'd be drinking all the stock and there would never be a blood supply for those in need.
2. They can't work for the telephone company since that tends to be an outside job and done in the daylight which is murder on a vampire if they don't want to go all dusty.
3. They can't have vampire children well for one thing they are dead which includes the vital ingredients for getting pregnant.
Smoochies
Out in the graveyard
Looking to slay
With Angel by her side
No sign of baddies
Smooching and chatting
In the future
All that she sees is him
Knowing the feeling
They fall into a kiss
Helpful Tips: If your egg starts moving and something is trying to get out don't hestitate to smash it before it opens. Also if you sneak out a lot have a robe by the windown handy to put on when you climb in so you don't get caught in your clothes. A scissor can make an excellent weapon against the creature that escaped from your egg. Also lock your door so mom can't barge in and you have a little time to get into bed or put your robe on.
Cordelia On Her Bear Backpack
Hey I'll have you know that my father brought this bear back from Gestad years ago and then all of a suden these trendos everywhere starting sporting them so I'm totally not wearing it. Then I thought hey I'm the one who started this nation wide craze what am I ashamed of.
Helpful Tips: Beware of hard boiled eggs. Check the contents before eating. A tool box is good for smashing bad eggs. When warning someone to be careful heed your own words or you just may trip. Sometimes you need to hit a girl.
You know I always say that a day without an autopsy is like a day without sunshine. Buffy
Loophole to grounding smooching at the window doesn't violate the whole stay in your room thing except for school and the bathroom.
Oz
He's in a band
And plays the guitar
A redhead catches his eye
He falls under her spell
A total sweetie
Has a little secret
He's a werewolf
Fallen in love
Seizing It
Another year passes by
Birthday on its way
Disturbing and quite telling dream
Had to check for herself
So real seeing him die
Killed by Drusilla
Fears of it coming true
A decision is made
She's ready to seize it
Taking that major step
Not knowing what's ahead
Buffy On Want
I don't know I mean want isn't always the right thing to do. To act on want can be wrong. But to not act on want what if I never feel this way again.
Buffy's Words Of Wisdom
Fixation on insignificant detail is a definite crush sign.
Make a move. Do the talking thing.
The Date
She likes his hands
Does the walking thing
Say's she'll say yes
Upon hearing that he's going to ask her out
But a no pops out
In the next breath
Making a date
Has a date for the party
Walks off in bliss
A yes from the cute senior
Giant smile upon her face
Xander Wants To Come Out Of The Closet
I don't know this thing with us despite our better judgement it keeps happening. Maybe we should admit that we're dating.
Cordy Defines A Date
Groping in a broom closet isn't dating. You don't call it a date until a guy spends money.
Xand's MPD
Calls him Idiot Jed a glutton for punishment.
Can't Abide Them
Still in Sunnydale
About to have a party
Invitations already sent
Flowers send her into a state
They're all wrong
Can't abide them
Rips at them
Calmed by her love
Allowed to take a peek
It reeks of death
Vengeance On Angel
Vengeance demands that his pain be eternal as ours is. If this this girl gives him one minute of happiness it is one minute too much.
The Judge
It's a legend way before my time of the demon brought forth to rid the world of the plague of humanity. To separate the righteous from the wicked and to burn the righteous down. They call him the judge. Angel
He couldn't be killed yes. An arm was sent against him most of them died but finally they were able to dismember him but not kill him. Giles
Pieces were scattered and buried in every corner of the world. Angel
Spike Talks Sense
He is a wanker but he is the only one we got with half a brain. If he fails you can eat his eyes out of his sockets for all I care.
Cladaugh Ring
My people before I was changed they exchanged this as a sign of devotion. It's a cladaugh ring. The hand represents friendship, the crown represents loyalty and the heart well you know. Wear it with the heart pointing towards you. It means you belong to someone.
Xander The Optimist
It's sad granted but let's look at the upside for a moment. I mean what kind of a future would she really have with him. She's got too jobs Dennys waitress by day, Slayer by night and Angels's always in front of the TV with a big blood belly. He's dreaming about the glory days when Buffy still thought this whole creature of the night thing routine was a big turn on. No, no that's just the beginning have I told you the part where I fly into town in my private jet and take Buffy out for prime rib and she cries.
More Info About The Judge
His touch can literally burn the humanity out of you. A true creature of evil can survive the process no human ever has. No weapon forged can kill him.
I love you I try not to but I can't stop. Angel
Me too I can't either. Buffy
A Nasty Surprise
Unable to fight their feelings
Declaring their love
Making love changes it all
Awakens and runs off
Only to feel his soul rip away
The evil has returned
A night of bliss
Turns really ugly
Lost her love so cruelly
Dru Rambles
I'm naming all the stars. I can see them but I've named them all the same name. It's terrible confusion.
The Fate Of Angel According To Angelus
Well moves to New York and tries to fulfill that Broadway dream tough slaying but one day he's working in the chorus when the big star twists her ankle.
What can I say I was going through a phase. Angelus
She made me feel like a human being that's not the kind of thing you just forgive. Angelus
Helpful Tips: Say Hi for me is really tacky when your friend is extra wigged about her boyfriend being AWOL. As a good rule of thumb kissing in the library is a really bad idea since you may got caught in the act and really hurt someone you care about.
Willow Catches Them In The Act
I knew it! I knew it! Well not knew it in the sense of having the slightest idea but I knew there was something I didn't know. It's against all laws of God and man! It's Cordelia! Remember the We Hate Cordelia Club? Of which you are the treasurer. Gee what stopped you could it be shame? But I...No it just means that you'd rather be with someone you hate than be with me.
Angelus On Buffy's Performance
You were great really. I thought you were a pro. Lighten up it's a good time doesn't mean we have to make a big deal. Is what bells ringing, fireworks, the dulcet choir of pretty little birdies? Come on Buffy it's not like it hasn't happened before. Should have known you wouldn't be able to handle it. I love you too. I'll call you.
Uncle On Vengeance
You know what it is this thing vengeance. To the modern man vengeance is a word in my ear payback one thing for another like commerce. Not with us vengeance is a living thing. It passes through generations it commands it kills.
The Curse
Angel is meant to suffer not to live as human. One moment of true happiness of contenment one moment and the soul we restored no longer plagues his thoughts and that soul is taken from him.
It is not justice we serve it's vengeance.
Helpful Tips: Lights going out and your friendly neighborhood vampire calling for one of you to come to him and sending the other away to get the others should send up a red honkin flag. Be weary and it's always good to have a cross and or some holy water on hand since there's always the chance that he's gone all evil. Being nosey can be very unwelcome so know when to shut up.
Angelus' Message To Buffy
Well it's not really the kind of message you tell. It sorta involves finding the bodies of all your friends. I thought we already covered that subject. Dream on school girl your boyfriend is dead. You're all gonna join him. But she's so cute and helpless really a turn on. Things are about to get really interesting.
Cordy's Two Cents
This is great there's an unkillable demon in town. Angel's joined his team. The Slayer's a basket case. I'd say we hit bottom. Oh no here's a lower bottom.
You should have seen her face it was priceless. I'll never forget it. Angelus
Angelus On The Slayer
You don't get it. You tried to kill her but you couldn't. Look at you you're a wreck. She's stronger than any Slayer you've ever faced. Force won't get it done you got to work from the inside. To kill this girl you have to love her.
A Horrible Mistake
Unaware of what was to come
The feelings deepened to love
Denying them didn't work
The connection was too strong
A night filled with pleasure
Turned into a nightmare
A truth is discovered
Lost his soul in bliss
Unleashing the beast within
Oz On Kissing
Sometimes when I'm sitting in class you know I'm not thinking about class because that would never happen I think about kissing you. And it's like everything stops it's like freeze frame Willow kissage. Oh I'm not gonna kiss you. Well to the casual observer it would appear that you're trying to make your friend Xander jealous or even the score something and that's on the empty side. You see in my fantasy when I'm kissing you you're kissing me. It's ok I can wait.
A Present
Planning a party
It will be the last
Pieces brought together
A blue toy surprise
Burns out the humanity
Looking spiffy and like a smurf
If smurfs were all evil and huge
Out to destroy the world
No weapon forged can stop him
That was then this is now
He was blown to bits
Raining down in little parts
The party favor has been destroyed.
Angelus' Thoughts
You know what the worst part was huh pretending that I loved you. If I'd know how easily you'd give it up I wouldn't have even bothered. You'd like to think that wouldn't ya? Doesn't matter what matters is that you made me the man I am today. Not quitting on me are ya? Come on you know you want it. You can't do it. You can't kill me.
Helpful Tip: A good swift kick to the groin is a good thing.
Giles Won't Give Her The Blame
It's not over I suppose you know that. He'll come after you particularly. His profile he's likely to strike out at things that made him most human. No I'm not. I don't believe it is. Do you want me to wag my finger at you and tell you, you acted rashly? You did and I can but I know that you loved him and he has proven more than once that he loved you. You couldn't have know what would happen. The coming months are gonna be hard I suspect on all of us but if it's guilt you're looking for Buffy I'm not your man. All you will get from me is my support and my respect.
Oz On Movies
Today's movies are kinda like popcorn you know you forget about it as soon as they're done. I do remember that I did like the popcorn though.
Willow's Meow Worthy
Great I'll give Xander a call what's his number oh yeah 1-800-IM-DATING-A-SKANKY-HOE!
I do not babble I occasionally run on every now and then I yammer. Xander
Rabbit
Name for herbivorous mammals of the Family Leporidae, which also includes the hare and the pika. Rabbits and hares have large front teeth, short tails, and large hind legs and feet adapted for running or jumping. In most, the length of the ears is considerably greater than the width. Although usuage varies, the term rabbit generally refers to small, running animals, with relative short ears and legs, which gives birth to blind, naked young, while hare refers to larger flopping forms, with longer ears and legs, whose young are both furred and open eyed. Rabbits are chiefly nocturnal, although they are sometimes seen in the daytime. They feed on a wide variety of vegetation and are responsible in many areas for the stunted nature of the ground cover. When feeding on green herbage, rabbits like hares, excrete soft pellets which they reingest; the waste products of the redigested food are excreted as dry pellets. Wild rabbits are frequently infected with tularemia, which is dangerous to humans.
Source: Columbia Encyclopedia
 I think you splashed on just a little too much Obsession For Dorks. Cordelia
Willow's Advice
Don't forget you're supposed to be a meet little girlie girl like the rest of us.
Self Defense
I want to show you what to do should you be attacked from behind. In this situation bend forward using your back and shoulders to flip the assailant over to the ground.
Helpul Tip: Groaning can cause the pervert behind you to make some dirty comments.
Giles On The Moon And The Werewolf
The phases of the moon do seem to exert a great deal of psychological influence and the full moon seems to bring out our darkest qualities. You see the werewolf is such a potent extreme representation of our inborn animalistic traits it emerges for three full consecutive nights. The full moon and the two nights surrounding it. Quite. And it acts on a pure instinct, no conscience, predatory and aggressive. The point is that our wolf man could also be a wolf woman or anyone whose been bitten by a werewolf. No, no bullets. No matter who this werewolf is it's still a human being who may be completely unaware of his or her condition.
The Lunar Month
The moon was studied, and its apparent motions through the sky recorded, beginning in ancient times. The Babylonians and the Maya, for example, had remarkably precise calendars for eclipses and other astronomical events. Astronomers now recognize different kinds of months such as the synodic month of 29 days, 12 hours, 44 minutes, the period of the lunar phases, and the sidereal month of 27 days, 7 hours, 43 minutes, the period of lunar revolution around the earth.
Phase
In astronomy, the measure of how much of the illuminated surface of a planet or satellite can be seen from a point at a distance from that body; the term is most often used to describe the moon as seen from the earth. When the moon is between the earth and the sun we cannot see, the lighted half at all, and the moon is said to be new. For a few days before and after the new moon we can see a part of the lighted half, which appears as a crescent with horns, or cusps, pointing away from the sun. When the moon is at quadrature with the sun, having completed either one quarter or three quarters of its orbit from new moon to new moon, half the lighted side is visible; this phase is called the half-moon. The half-moon between the new moon and the full moon is known as the first quarter and that between the full moon and the new moon is known as the last quarter. Between the first quarter and the full moon and between teh full moon and the last quarter we see more than half the lighted side; this phase is called gibbous. Of the planets only Mercury, and Venus, whose orbits pass between the earth and sun, show all the phases that the moon shows; the other planets are always gibbous or full.
Source: Columbia Encyclopedia
Wolfing Out
A werewolf on the loose
Unaware of who it is
Male or female not a clue
Out to track it down
Saving it from a hutner
Going through some cahnges
He discovers the truth
Tries to lock himself up
His girl stops by
Secret's out as he goes wolfie
Runs away and gets help
Hit with a tranquilizer
Knocked out before major harm was done
Willing to make things work out
A werewolf in love
Getting that smoochie in
She makes her move
Helpful Tip: If you wake up naked in the wood's and don't remember what happened that's a pretty good sign that you're a werewolf and also have recently got bitten.
Lycanthropy
In folklore assumption by the human of the appearance and characteristics of an animal. Ancient belief in lycanthropy was widespread and it still exists in parts of the world. Certain African tribes have their "leopardmen" and the like, and literatures all over the world have tales of men changing to animals. One of the most widely held of these superstistions is the belief in the werewolf (a person who willingly or unwillingly changes into a wolf, eats human flesh, or drinks human blood, then returns to his natural form). The lycanthrope, akin to the vampire, is thought to undergo his change by means of witchcraft or magic. In the Middle Ages the church condemned lycanthropy as a form of sorcery and often ruthlessly punished the supposed offenders. The term is also applied to a form of insanity in which a person believes himself to be an animal and acts accordingly.
Source: Columbia Encyclopedia
Xander's Affinity To The Werewolf
I know what it's like to crave the taste of freshly killed meat to be taken over by those uncontrollable urges.
Helpful Tip: If you want to keep up your story that you remembered nothing about being a hyena don't bring it up at all or you get caught in your big old fib.
Look the point is I have an affinity with this thing. I can get inside of its head. I'm a big bad wolf. I'm on the prowl. I'm sniffin. I'm snarling. I'm a slobbering predator. I'm wait a second it's right in front of us. It's obvious who I am. I'm Larry. The guy's practically got wolf boy stamped on his forehead. You got the dog bite. You got the aggression not to mention the excessive back hair.
A Confession
Sure of who the werewolf is
He goes to talk to Larry
The unexpected happens
His secret comes out
But not the one that was expected
Not a werewolf at all
He's gay and feels better
Upon saying it aloud
Out of the closet
Vow's to keep Xander's "secret"
A change comes over him
No more leers and lew remarks
Helping pick up books that get knocked down
But we can do stuff to help. Sometimes it feels good to help. Well like looking up stuff. I'm gonna be doing that most of the night you could help me. Help together. Willow
Buffy On Men
Welcome to the mystery that is men. I think it goes something like they grow body hair, they lose all ability to tell you what they really want.
It used to be so much easier to tell if a boy like you he'd punch you on the arm and then run back to his friends.
Xander's Wisdom
Buffy you can't blame yourself for every death that happens in Sunnydale. If it weren't for you people'd be lined five deep waiting to get themselves buried. Willow would be Robby the robot's love slave. I wouldn't even have a head and Theresa's a vampire.
Willow Makes Her Move
I had this whole thing worked out and had it written down but then it didn't make any sense when I was reading it bac. I mean what am I supposed to think first you buy me popcorn and then you're all glad that I didn't get bit. And you put the tag back in my shirt. But I guess none of that means anything because instead of looking up names with me here you are all alone in your house doing nothing by yourself. No dammit it we'll talk about this now. Buffy told me that sometimes what a girl makes has to be the first move and now that I'm saying this I'm starting to think that the writen version sounded pretty good but you know what I mean. Well welcome to the world. Things happen don't you think I'm going through a lot. Oh what so now you're special you're special boy with chains and stuff. Why do you have chains?
Helpful Tip: If you see chains on the dining room table get the hell out of there imediately to avoid being eaten.
Xander Logic
What relationship? I mean what kind of life could they possibly have together. We're talking obedience school, paper training. Oz is always in the back burying their things and that kind of breed can turn on its owner. All I'm saying is she's not safe with him if it were up to me...
I'm sorry I almost ate you. Oz
Well I like you. You're nice and you're funny, and you don't smoke. Yeah ok werewolf. That's not all the time. I mean three days out of the month I'm not much fun to be around. So I'd still if you'd still. Ok no biting.
Saint Valentine's Day
Western European Christian holiday, originally the Roman feast of Lupercalia. It was christianized in memory of the martyrdom of St Valentine in AD 270, who in medieval times, came to be assoicated with the union of lovers under conditions of duress. The holiday is celebrated on Feb 14th by the exchange of romantic or comic verse messages called "valentines". The first commercial valentine greeting cards produced in the United States were created in the 1840's by Esther A. Howland. Today millions of such cards are sold annually.
Source: Columbia Encyclopedia
Xander's Valentine
Well this is new territory for me I mean my valentines are usally met with heartfelt restraining orders. I wish dating was like slaying you know simple, direct, stake through the heart. No muss no fuss.
Slaying is a tad more powerless than dating. Buffy
Be Mine
No restraining orders this time
A girl to be his Valentine
Heart of silver for his gift
With lousy timing she speaks
Spoiling a nice moment
Dumped on Valentine's Day
Any day but this day
Such a cruel blow from Cordy
For his revenge a spell was cast
Didn't work as he planned
All the girls after him
Except for her
In the end she was his
Making a brave move
Standing up to her friends
Spells
A word, formula, or incantation believed to have magical powers. The spell can be used for evil or good ends; if evil it is a technique of sorcery. Many authorities believe that the spell was the precursor of prayer. In Teutonic lore, the spell was a form of exercising occult power and was sometimes used to summon the spirits of departed heroes to give prophetic utterances. Once cast, the spell was supposed to remain in force until broken by a counterspell or exorcism.
Source: Columbia Encyclopedia
Giles On Angelus
On Valentine's Day he he's rather prone well to brutal displays he would think of it as affections. No no need to go into detail. Suffice it to say I think it would be best for you to stay off the streets for a few nights.
Helpful Tip: If puppy and nailed are mentioned in the same sentence you don't want to get the details since that's disturbing enough.
Xander's Thoughts
I've been thinking about us a lot lately the why and the wherefore. You know once twice a kissy here a kissy there and you could chock it up to hormones and maybe that's all we have here tawdry lust but maybe not. Maybe something in you sees something inside me and vice versa. I mean I think I do see something.
What Xander Wants
What do I want? I want some respect around here I want for once to come out ahead. I want the Hellmouth to be working for me. You and me Amy are gonna cast a spell.
Intent has to be pure for a love spell.
I intend revenge as pure as the driven snow.
Why Not To Do A Love Spell
1. You could end up with the whole female population after you except for the one you wanted.
2. Your best friend's mom could end up hitting up you which makes things very weird.
3. Both of your best friends hit on you.
4. The reason for the spell AKA the girl has a mob after her.
5. The spurned girl with a mob try to kill you after all you did reject her and her feelings were actually real.
6. Saying that you're someone else won't work so run away like a man.
7. Your best friend could be turned into a rat. 
Xander's Plan
I have a plan. We use me as bait. No I mean chop me into little pieces and stick me on hooks for fish to nibble at because it would be more fun than my life.
It's funny how you could see someone every day and not really see them you know. Buffy
Willow Wants
Xand I've been thinking. How long have we been friends? But friendships grow apart. They grow closer. I want you Xander to be my first. Shh we both know it's right. Is it Oz? Don't worry about him he's sweet but he's not you. Force is ok.
Time for me to act like a man and hide. Xander
Xander's Confession
It's me throwing myself at your mercy I made a mess Giles. Yeah I found out that Amy's into Witchcraft and I was hurting I guess so I made her put the love whammy on Cordy but it backfired and now every woman in Sunnydale wants to make me her cuddle monkey which may sound swell on paper but...Oh no I'm twice the fool it takes.
Xander Does Something Good
Buf for the love of god don't open that raincoat. It's not that I don't want to. Sometimes for a moment of impossible impossibility that you might like me was all that sustained me but not now not like this. This isn't real to you. You're only here because of a spell. I mean if I thought you had one clue what it would mean to me but you don't so I can't. 
A Very Pissed Off Willow
I should have know I'd find you with her. Oh no you don't know how hard this is for me I love you so much. I'd rather see you dead than with that bitch.
Dru's Offer
Don't fret kitten mummy's here. If you harm one hair on this boy's head...Just because I fianlly found a real man. Your face is a poem. I can read it. Shh! How do you feel about eternal life?
Xander's Rant
None of this would have happened if you hadn't broken up with me but no you're so despearely popular. It would have worked fine except your hides so thick not even magic can penetrate it.
Spell To Change Buffy Back
Diana! Hecate!
I hereby license thee to depart!
Goddess of creatures great and small I conjure thee to withdraw!
Spell To Break Love Spell
Diana, Goddess of love, be gone!
Hear no more you siren's song!
Cordy Stands Up To The Sheep
Harmony shut up! Do you know what you are Harmony you're a sheep. You're a sheep. All you ever do is what everyone else does just so you can say you did it first and here I am scrambling for your approval when I'm way cooler than you are because I'm not a sheep. I do what I want to do and I wear what I want to wear and you know what I'll date whoever the hell I want to date! No matter how lame he is.
Passion it lies in all of us sleeping, waiting, and though unwanted, unbidden it will stir open its jaws and howl. It speaks to us, guides us. Passion rules us all and we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love, clarity of hatred and the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we could bear. If we could live without passion maybe we'd know some kind of peace but we would be hollow empty rooms shuttered and dank. Without passion we'd be truly dead.
Playing
Watching her from the shadows
An all access pass to the houses
Like a cat playing with a mouse
With his gag gifts left behind
Entering where he's invited
His sense of whimsy is restored
The one who could cure him
Was killed and left on display
A set up most cruel
Night of romance expected
Lying dead in his bed
With roses and champagne
The music playing
Out for blood after him he goes
Not thinking clearly he gets in a few blows
Buffy's Words For Jenny
Hey. Look I know you feel badly about what happened and I just wanted to say good keep it up. Oh wait um he misses you. He doesn't say anything to me but I know he does and I don't want him to be lonely. I don't want anyone to. We're good here just leave it.
Angelus On Modern Technology
I never cease to be amazed how much the world has changed in just two and a half centuries. It's a miracle to me you put the secrets to restore my soul here and it comes out here. Ritual of Restoration well this brings back memories. Oh my cure no thanks been there done that deja vu just isn't what it used to be. Well isn't this my lucky day a computer looks like I get to kill two birds one stone. Teacher makes three. Oh good I need to work up an appetite first. Sorry Jenny this is where you get off. I never get tired of doing that.
Xander's I Told You So
Well it's about time somebody did. I'm sorry but let's not forget that I hated Angel long before you jumped on the band wagon so I think I deserve a little something for not saying I told you so long before now. And if Giles wants to go after the uh fiend that murdered his girlfriend I say faster pussycat kill kill.
Saying Goodbye
In my years as Watcher I've buried too many people. Jenny was the first I loved.
I'm sorry. Sorry I couldn't kill him for you, for her when I had the chance. I wasn't ready but I think I finally am. I can't hold onto the past anymore. Angel is gone nothing's ever gonna bring him back.
Out Of Commission
Suffering from the flu
Out to patrol as usual
Head's all spinning
Went a few rounds
With the evil undead
Ended up in the hospital
A evil preying on the sick
The one that killed her cousin
Only seen with a fever
Snaps its ugly neck
And saves the children
Joyce Tells Why Buffy Hates Hospitals
Yeah she just hates hospitals ever since she was a little girl. When she was eight her cousin Celia died in the hospital. Buffy was alone with her at the time. Yeah they were very close.
Tact is just not saying true stuff I'll pass. Cordelia
Cordelia Flirts For The Cause
Stereotypes are so unfair. Well you know I think that security guards are way sexier than firemen. They're all sooty. Really.
You know you have the most important nose I've ever seen. You must work out.
Increased ooginess is a danger signal. Xander
Helpful Tips: If you want to give yourself a fever remember to add water or you'll wind up dead. To help your friend escape pretend frogs are crawling all over you and wig out. Take note of the cheesy chips since someone may try to bogart them.
Cameron On The Ocean
It's beautiful isn't it? Eternal a true mother giving birth to new life and devouring old. Always adaptable, nuturing, yet constant and merciless.
Xander On Special Treatment For Jocks
That is wrong. A big fat spankin wrong. It's a slap in the face to every one of us who studied hard and worked long hours to ear our D's.
Swim Team
Dating a cheerleader
Working hard for those D's
Gets an idea
Joins the swim team
What a lovely sight
Looking good in speedos
Nearly turned sea monster
I was in the line for shred of sanity which you obviously skipped. Buffy
Cordelia Shows She Cares
Oh my god Xander. It's me Cordelia. I know you can't answer me but oh god this is all my fault. You joined the swim team to impress me. You were so courageous and you looked really hot in those speedos. And I want you to know that I still care about you no matter what you look like and we can still date or or not I mean I understand if you want to see other fish. I'll do everything I can to make your quality of life better. Whether that means little bath toys or whatever.
The Geek
Ashmatic unable to keep up
Couldn't join the swim team
Teased and tossed around
Got his revenge so sweet
He peed in the pool
Ewwww!
No hell beastie summoning for this guy
Buffy On Impulse
Impulsive do you remember my ex boyfriend vampire? I slept with him he lost his soul. Now my boyfriend's gone forever and the demon that wears his face is killing my friends. The next impulsive decision I make will involve my choice in dentures.
School Motto: Something weird is going on.
Apparition
Spiritualistic manifestation of a person or object in which a form not acutually present is seen with such intensity that belief in its reality is created. The ancient and widespread belief in apparitions and ghosts (specters of dead persons) is based on the idea that the spirit of a man, or of any object, is endowed with volition and motion of its own. Apparitions, especially particular shapes attached to certain legends or superstitions, are often considered as premonitions or warnings. They may appear in any form and may manifest themselves to any or all the senses. The most evil apparitions are said to be those of persons who have died violent or unnatural deaths, those with guilty secrets, and those who were improperly buried. However, not all apparitions are belived to be dangerous; many, especially those associated with a particular religion, are thought to be signs of divine intervention. Summoning appartitions by means of incantations, crystal gazing, polished stones, hypnotic suggestion, and various others ways is one of the oldest practices of divination.
Source: Columbia Encyclopedia
Drifting
In history she dozes off
Finds herself in the past
A secret love affair
Between teacher and student
In the present finds a message
Don't walk away from me bitch
A case of chalkboard tourettes
Gives her the wiggins
A monster arm in the locker
Grabs him by the neck
Something weird is going on
Xander's Thoughts
This was no whimpy chain rattler. This was I'm dead as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore. I defined something accurately. Guess I'm done with book learning.
Giles On The Ghost/Poltergeist
It doesn't know what he wants that's the trouble. See many times a spirit is plagued by all manner of worldy troubles and being dead it has no way to make its peace. So it lashes out growing ever more confused, ever more angry. The only tried and true way is to work out what unresolved issues keep him here.
Strangeness Abounds
Arguments flaring up
Guns appearing out of nowhere
Ending in a death
The past is being replayed
Over and over again
Needing to be resolved
Before anyone else gets killed
Souls are released at last
A horrible accident forgiven
Now able to rest in piece
Jasmine night blooming like us. Dru
Jasmine
Any plant of the genus Jasminum of the family Oleaceae (olive family). The genus which includes shrubs and clambering plants is an Old World group, chiefly of tropical and subtropical regions but cultivated elsewhere, outdoors in mild climates and in greenhouses further north. The blossoms, mostly white or yellow, are usually very fragrant, some being used for scenting tea; the oil obtained from the flowers is utilized in perfumery. The common jasmine has white flowers and glossy deciduous leaves. Both names are often given to other plants such as Cape jasmine. Jasmine is classified in the division Magnoliophyta, class Magnoliopsida, order Scrophulariales, family Oleaceae.
Source: Columbia Encyclopedia
Spike On Their New Home
It's paradise. Big windows. Lovely garden. It'll be perfect when we want the sunlight to kill us.
Fill me in then cause I've read the book, seen the move, and I'm still fuzzy about what's going on. Xander
Dog spit is cleaner than human. Xander
He killed a person and he killed himself. Those are pretty much two of the dumbest things you could do. Xander
Buffy's Thoughts On James
No he should be doing sixty years in a prison breaking rocks and making special friends with Rosco the weightlifter.
Cordelia On Sadie Hawkins
I hope you guys aren't going to the Sadie Hawkins dance tonight cause I'm organizing a boycott. Do you realize that the girls have to ask the guys and pay and everything. I mean whose genius idea was that.
Exorcism
Ritual act of driving out evil demons or spirits from places, persons, or things in which they are thought to dwell. It occurs both in primitive societies and the religions of sophisticated cultures. The term is applied to all those acts that seek to dispel or frighten away demons or spirits, as dinstinguished from those rites that aim at propitiating or evoking their assitance. Exorcism may be applied to a particular person or thing or may be used in a more general way. In central Europe during Walburga's Night (or Walpurgishnacht, May 1), the traditional witches sabbath, witches (HEY HEY HEY!!!!) and demons are exorcised from the town by use of holy water, incense, and loud noises of all kinds. The scriptural justification for exorcism is found throughout the New Testament, and many instances of Jesus' ability to cast out devils are recorded.
Source: Columbia Encyclopedia
To forgive is an act of compassion Buffy. It's not done because people deserve it. It's done because they need it. Giles
Buffy Overidentifies Much!
No James destroyed the one person he loved most in a moment of blind passion and that's not something you forgive. No matter why he did what he did and no matter if he knows now that it was wrong and selfish and stupid. It is just something that he's gonna have to live with.
Angelus On Wasps
Fun fact about wasps they have no taste for the undead. Not that a string would do me any damage it's just tonight's special. I wanted to look my best for you.
Possessed
I just want you to be able to have some kind of normal life. We can never have that don't you see.
I don't give a damn about a normal life. I'm going crzy not seeing you. I think about you every minute.
I know. It's over it has to be.
Come back here we're not finished. You don't care anymore is that it?
It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what I feel.
Then tell me you don't love me. Say it.
Is that what you need to hear? Would that help?
I don't now let me go.
No a person doesn't just wake up and stop loving somebody. Love is forever. I'm not afraid to use it I swear. If I can't be with you...
Oh my god.
Don't walk away from me bitch!
Stop it! Stop it! Don't make me!
All right just...You know you don't want to do this. Let's both just calm down. Now give me the gun.
Dont, don't do that dammit! Don't talk to me like I'm so stupid...
James
Grace
Don't do this.
But I killed you.
It was an accident. It wasn't your fault.
It is my fault how can I...
I'm the one who should be sorry James. You thought I stopped loving you but I loved you with my last breath. Shh! No more tears.
They say when you've drawn blood you've exfoliated. Spike
There's moments in your life that make you that set the course of who you're gonna be. Sometimes they're little subtle moments. Sometimes they're not.
Liam
Drinking and carousing
Irish lad from Galway
Off into the night
In the alley he sees a pretty thing
Offers himself as escort
Up to any challenge
Except for a honest day's work
She offers to show himthings
Sires him on the spot
The young man dies
To be born anew
Gypsies
Gypsies or Gipsies (from Egypt, because of an inaccurate idea that Gypsies came from a so-called Little Egypt), a traditonally nomadic people with particular folkways and a unique language, found on every continet; they often refer to themselves as Roma. Their language called Romany, belongs to the Indo-Iranian family and is closely related to the languages of NW India, while their blood groupings have also been found to coincide with those of S Himalayan tribes. Gypsies worldwide are estimated to number between 6 and 7 million.
In the course of their wanderings, Gypsies have occasionally mixed with non-Gypsy neighbors and have sometimes settled down, but they have clung tenaciously to their identitiy and customs. Their physical type has remained largely unaltered; most Gypsies are dark-complexioned, short, and lightly build. Their bands are still ruled by elders. Gypsies have usually adopted the religion of their country of residence; probably the greatest number are Roman Catholic or Orthodox Eastern Christian. Each year in May they gather in S France from all over the world for a pilgrimage to Saintes-Maires-de-la-Mer. Gypsies usually travel in small caravans and make their livings as metalworkers, singers, dancers, musicians, horse dealers, and auto mechanics. Gypsy women are famous as fortunetellers.
It is believed that they came originally from NW India, which they left for Persia in the 1st millennium A.D. Probably during their sojourn in Persia, they became divided into three main tribal divisions: the Gitanos, the Kalderash, and the Manush. Later they moved northward and westward, and are recorded as first appearing in Western Europe in the 15th century. They arrived in North America in the late 1800's.
In modern times, and especially since the begining of the 20th century, various nations have attempted to end their nomadic lifestyle by requiring them to register and to go to school and learn trades. Some 500,000 perished in gas chambers and concentration camps during World War II. In 1956 the Soviet Union decreed that the last wandering Gypsy bands in that country be gradually settled in places of their choice. The countries of E Europe, where the great majority of Gypsies live, adopted similar measures under Communist rule, and most Gypsies eventually found economic and social protection, if not full acceptance. However, following the fall of Communism in the early 1990's, persecution of the Gypsies arose once more in E Europe, and by the early 21st century most faced increased discrimination and lived in poverty.
Source: Columbia Encyclopedia
Stalking
Skulking in the shadows
Watching her every move
All his thoughts of her
Wanting to pay her back
Making him feel
Not able to forgive that
Plans to destroy the world
Back on the side of evil
Also able to pull it off
Helpful Tip: Don't act out the night of patrolling using fishsticks since your hands will stink of fish and no one like fishy hands. Use silverware instead or other dishes at your disposal.
I met an old man. I didn't like him he got stuck in my teeth. Then the moon started whispering to me all sorts of dreadful things. Oh yeah. Dru
Gypsy
It hurts yes? Good it will hurt more. You don't remember everything you've done for a hundred years in a moment you will. The face of everyone you've killed, our daughter's face will haunt you and you will know what true suffering is.
It's a big rock. I can't wait to tell my friends. They don't have a rock this big. Spike
Bottom line is even if you seem them coming you're not read for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change but it does. So what are we helpless? Puppets? Nah the big moments are gonna come can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are. You'll see what I mean. Whistler
If you're gonna crack jokes then I'm gonna pull out your ribcage and wear it as a hat. Buffy
Spike's Offer
I told you I want to stop Angel. I want to save the world. We like to talk vampires do I want to destroy teh world. It's just tough guy talk strutting around with your friends over a pint of blood. The truth is I like this world. You got dog racing. Manchester United and you got people millions of people walking around like Happy Meals with legs. It's all right here. But then someone comes along with a vision a real passion for destruction Angel could pull if off. Goodbye Piccadilly. Farewell bloody Lester Square know what I'm saying?
I'm a Slayer not a postal worker. Buffy
Mom Finds Out The Secret
I told you I'm a Vampire Slayer. Open your eyes mom. What do you think has been going on for the last two years? The fights, the weird occurences, how many times have you washed blood out of my clothes? You still haven't figured it out. No it doesn't stop it never stops. Do you think I chose to be like this? Do you have any idea how lonely it is? How dangerous? I would love to be upstairs watching TV or gossiping about boys or god even studying but I have to save the world again. I'm not crazy. What I need is for you to chill I have to go. You can't stop me.
Spike's Good Sense
You cut him up you'll never get your answers. You have your way with him you'll never get to destroy the world and I don't fancy spending the next month trying to get librarian out of of the carpet. There are other ways.
Helpful Tips: A stake is a better weapon than a rock. Sometimes a small lie can be a help. Speaking Latin works during a spell even though you know zip of the language. Don't turn your back on the evil vamp since pulling the sword out of the big rock demon is a very bad sign.
The End Is Near
All set to destroy the world
Angelus tries to waken the demon
No such luck so far
Steals the librarian away
Looking for some answers
Dru bags her first Slayer
With a wandering eye
Spike strikes a deal
Wants to save the world
Just talk over a pint of blood
Doesn't want the world gone
Happy Meals with legs
Walking the planet
Is how it wants it to remain
Angelus
Total bliss stole his soul
Ripped from his insides
Pain was finally gone
Angel disappeared in a blink
Replaced with bloodthirsty Angelus
Thus began his reign of terror
Killing Jenny with a snap
Next he tortures Giles
A cure had been found
He was cursed once again
But it was too late
Angel returned but couldn't be saved
A sword through the heart
Sending him straight to Hell
With a kiss before he went
In he was sucked into the vortex
Closed so the danger was past
The world continued to spin
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