2001-2002
Super Villian Journal
Entry One
This is so cool. I am now officially a Super Vilian. We are the Trio me, Jonathan, and Warren. We are gonna bring down the Slayer but first we need money. We have a lair in the basement which is totally cool. The bad element usually hides in the underground and that's where we are. So the adventure begins with three badass men. I am summoning a demon to get us some money. We need it fi we want to do everything on our To Do List. This is gonna be so cool. This town will be ours for the taking. Watch out world here we come. Darth Vader shall be our god and inspiration. The Trio will strike the fear of god into every person in this town.
Entry Two
This lair is all set with the action figures fully deployed. I'm just waiting for my Chewbakka and R2D2 action figures that I ordered from Ebay. They are in mint condition and will make an excellent addition to my collection. I suggested a Star Wars marathon tonight since we were successful with our first state. We are in the money and the Slayer took care of that pesky demon. He didn't even want any money or a robot lover. I hope to talk Warren into making me a Christina Ricci bot to play with. I mean he like totally made himself a girl so why not his buddy Andrew. We should totally come up with code names like every good villian does. I could be the Destoryer. With abs of steel I could crush my victims with the hands of doom. Ha ha puny one for I shall strike you down.
Entry Three
Yes my stuff came in the mail and I got an email about some stormtroopers which I am so getting. Since every Super Villian needs a set of wheels I got my hands on a van. I had the best idea so I had a horn put in that plays the Star Wars theme song which is so cool. I'm also gonna paint the death star on it. Things are really shapin gup. Warren is taking care of the computer and survelliance stuff in the van since he's an electrical whiz. I can't believe he turned me down when I asked him to make me a robot. I'll have to wear him down. It would be so cool to have Christina Ricci to hold hands with while walking down the street and other stuff of course.
Entry Four
I find a journal to be manly since a diary in my opinion has a touch of feminity about it. So this is a journal which will tell about all my evil deeds. This is so coll we are going to pull off a heist when that diamond comes to the museum. We are in the process of creating an invisibility ray which will be so cool but we need the diamond to fire it up. We have a proto type for a freeze ray that we'll use if we need to. It'll turn a person into a giant block of ice which is so cool. We are testing Buffy and I have the best idea. I'll summon a demon which is totally my specialty. I just have to be on the ball. We are following her around tomorrow.
Entry Five
That was way cool Buffy is hot and all but she has no focus. It totally helped that Warren has the stats on her since he made a Buffy bot for Spike. Spike is so cool and I just love his coat. I want a coat like that. He is like the perfect example of being bad right down to his hair. He must get all the girls. First we were at the college with Warren's lint thing which made time go all wonky. It was so cool when it disappeared the second Buffy found it. Not too bad at all. Next she turned up at a construction site where I summoned up the melty demons and she totally got canned. It was a close call when we leaned on the horn. Oopsie I kept the Star Wars theme which is so cool but not so good when it's blown and you're trying to be incognito. Next she was at the Magic Box and she was stuck in a time loop. It was just like that X-Files episode but it wasn't a bank and it was real. Jonathan has a magic bone which is funny. It was a no draw so no one won. I totally had it in the bag.
Entry Six
We pulled off the job without a hitch well not much of one. I didn't look like a mime. I wasn't wearing white makeup on my face and I wasn't not talking. the freeze ray worked only it sorta froze Jonathan's arm at the same time. That guy totally turned into ice like an ice sculputre only with a person inside. It was like a Cracker Jack box with a surprise inside only you can see what it is. Gosh darn it I still haven't been able to talk Warren into making me a bot. Well we'll have our pick of the chicks when we get the cereberal dampener on line.
Entry Seven
Well the invisibility ray worked but there was a major snag. For one thing I thought it would look totally cooler but it was kinda bulky. The Slayer got dosed which made her the ultimate threat. Darn I really wanted to see those naked girls. Talk about the ultimate fantasy but the ray has a really bad side effect it turns you to much which isn't good at all. I can't believe he lied to us about not killing Buffy. Me and Jonathan didn't want her dead. So we lost the ray since Buffy took it. It was cool to be invisible for a little while anyway. There are so many things you could do while invisible. Maybe an invisibility cloak would be better.
Entry Eight
Oh nuts our headquarters were found so we had to find another lair. Next time I have to remember that an available exist is open when we need to make a quick getaway. It sucks that we lost the diamond since it was so pretty and maybe could have used it for something else. Gosh darn it we were in such a hurry that I left behind those pictures of that hot Vulcan from Enterprise behind. She is so hot. She's right up there with Seven from Voyager. Big bazoombas and long flowing hair and that tight tight catsuit thing. I just love that show Voyager. I picked up my vulcan ears at the post office and just in time too with the Sci Fi convention this weekend. Sheer bliss for three days and William Shatner is a guestspeaker. The very first captain in this long running show that is reborn into reincarnations to this very day.
Entry Nine
I have this idea to make Buffy super magnetic. She can be rendered helpless with a giant magnet where she'll be stuck. With ehr out of the way we'll have the run of the town. We can get paid by the local demons for leaving the town open for mayhem. Hmm while the money sounds good that might not be the best idea since demons tend to kill and I'm no killer I'm a Super Villian. All bow down and worship me like a god and bestow upon me gifts. Too bad Ambrosia isn't real sicne it would be so cool to be a god.
Entry Ten
So we are totally on the lam which is so cool and very villiany. I'm still bummed about the losses we sustained. On the bright side the convention is tomorrow so I'll be able to make up for our losses. I just love going to conventions with my compadres all wearing our vulcan ears. I want to consult a plastic surgeon about shaping my ears like a vulcan. It would be so cool to have pointy ears. I would totally become more than human since as a rule humans don't have pointy ears. I mean they have ears of course unless they got clipped off by a chainsaw or something. They are so loud and you could totally lose a limb if you're not careful. Ooh I think I'll read Misery again. Now that is one scary book and this will be like the sixth time I've read it. It will help while away the time since I'm not so good in the cebereal dampener department except for geting the musk gland. It just isn't where my specialties lie. I think I'll pop by the library before I get the gland to see if they got any good new arrivals. I just love the library it's so warm and welcoming plus that really cute girl works there. Maybe this time I'll find out her name and vow her with my Super Villianyness since girls love the bad boys. I wish we could have gotten a lair with a view. I didn't sign on to live with my fellow Super Villians.
Entry Eleven
That musk gland from that demon was rank. I totally should have worn a surgical mask since the smell lingers. This was such a bad idea the baddest of bad ideas. I didn't think it would turn out this way with someone dead. I wish I'd never gotten that stupid gland. What was Warren think to do this to his ex girfriend? I was totally Mad Dog 2 regardless of what Jonathan thinks. The idea sounded cool at the time but I didn't think someone would be dead. It was supposed to be harmless fun but it got way too real. I wanted to go to the police but Warren didn't want to. So I'm just the guy who follows orders. That wine tasted funny and it was all bubbly and tickling my nose. It was cool to be called hot though. Warren always asserts his leadership role which is cool but I could do without the killing in the future. She hit really hard too. I'm not liking where this is heading. It was a horrible accident and it was declared a suicide by the cops so no one will come after us for murder.
Entry Twelve
So the problem is sorta solved although I had nightmares of that whole ugly mess. I just have to keep reminding myself that it was just an accident. I wasn't even holding the bottle so I'm just an innocent bystander. Those demons that make you hallucinate are totally cool. Not that I'd want to fight one since I'd be total toast. So we got away with murder which I guess is kinda cool. Warren has got things so under control so I guess he's tapping into the whole evil thing which is the whole point of this teaming up thing. Well I guess that goes hand in hand with the villian thing. I myself prefer the not killing thing.
Entry Thirteen
The convention was so cool. I got to talk to that chick from Andromeda. I wanted to find out about that James Marster guy. He was on only once but it would be so cool if he were to come back again. I really enjoy his work. Jonathan claimed he was sick so it was just me and Warren. Soon it will be just the two of us. I sort of feel sorry for Jonathan since he's totally in the dark and has no idea that his days are numbered. When it comes down to it better him than me. It's the survival of the fittest and I plan to be left standing. Speaking up can get you in trouble so I'm keeping things under my hat. I wonder who came up with that saying anyway. A person that hid stuff under his hat perhaps. I'll just keep my lips sealed. We need him for our next mission. So I just need to act like it's business as usual.
Entry Fourteen
That girl at the library is such a cutie and she's into Sci Fi stuff too. She even has action figures on her desk. I want a desk of my own for my important stuff and to sit behind. A desk with one of those cool charis with wheels so I can spin around and glide across the room. Of course I'd have to have an office or maybe a cubicle since we're in a basement and me and tools don't mix. Maybe there's a demon that builds things but I kinda doubt it. I could check that Demons, Demons, Demons site to see what I can find. That's a pretty darn handy site when you're looking for a particular demon. Whoever came up with that idea was a total genius. I wish I could come up with a cool idea but it seems like they are all taken. A dating service for demons? Nah even I know that is beyond lame.
Entry Fifteen
Warren has secretly been working on jet packs which is so cool. I still feel kinda bad that Jonathan's being booted but Warren says that's how it has to be. I have what it takes and the little one doesn't. So soon it will be the Duo which will be cool and Jonathan can go on his merry little way while we head off to bigger and better things. First we need to get those magick balls that make a person invulnerable. Wow flying and being unstoppable how cool. I want a cool jet pack not a clunky one. I can soar through the night sky laughing my Super Villian laugh. We just have to get around the demon guards. Demons can be a real pain in the butt though they can also come in handy at times.
Entry Sixteen
I want to have X-ray glasses so I can see through stuff like Superman. It would be cool although I probably couldn't figure out how to shoot beams of fire from my eyes or maybe I could do it from my finger like Callisto when she became a God. Now that is one hot babe in that domanatix outfit. Hmm maybe Warren could no I guess not since he wouldn't make me Christina. I would totally be willing to share. Curse my brain and hands for coming up with ideas but not being able to bring them into being. Hey maybe Jonathan and his magic bone can help. I wonder if I'll get to have the bone when my little friend is gone. I wonder where we'll go next for there is a whole world out there waiting for us.
Entry Seventeen
I still want a cool name but I'm drawing a blank. I do know that I don't want to wear tights or makeup maybe a little eyeliner would be ok but not too crazy like the Joker. Maybe I could find a way to make myself taller or something so I can intimidate people with my steely gaze. Ooh I could be the Intimidator. Well the X-ray glasses were a bust. I may have caught a glimpse of underwear before I set myself on fire. Owie I'm all blisters in a very delicate area but that magick ointment is working wonders. So I'm tossing that idea out of the window unless I get a test subject but of course leave out that whole setting on fire thing. That would have to be left out otherwise I wouldn't get any volunteers since I doubt anyone wants to be on fire.
Entry Eighteen
So all of the cameras are up and running including the Slayer's house so we can watch from the safety of our lair. So if the heat comes down on us we are prepared with plenty of boobie traps. It's so cool like Raiders of the Lost Arc. With one flick of the switch it will be set up totally destroying the evidence of our evil doings. I went to the library and actually talked to Christie or would that be spoke I always get those two confused anyway she was holding some goodies and comics. That was so sweeb but my suave social skills just didn't kick in. I did manage to speak coherently so I wasn't a total doofus. Maybe I'll ask her to go to the Expresso Pump for a coffee. I don't care much for coffee but I could manage since most people like coffee. I don't really get the appeal myself since there are other things that will give you a jolt. I suppose I could practice drinking it. Maybe it's an acquired taste not to mention smell and I can grow to like it.
Entry Nineteen
Time is growing short for the Trio and the jet packs are ready at least the proto type. He has no clue what's going on totally clueless. Warren just has this presence about him so I'm eager to please him as long as I don't have to kill which he has assured me in about our upcoming missions. Of course we need more money so a bank heist is in the works. With those magick balls no one could stop us even Superman. Well to stop him you just need to break out the kyrtonite. It would be so cool to be fireproof since fire really hurts. I burnt my finger on the stupid cheese from the stupid pizza. Well it's better than burning the tongue which is such a horrible experience. I've done that before and it really hurts. I should totally get a refun or get a coupon or something for my pain and suffering. I got to remember to blow to avoid injuries while eating pizza. Maybe I'll stick to something safe liek sandwiches although if cutting is involved that would require a knife and the potential of blood which always ruins a perfectly good sandwich.
Entry Twenty
How do vampires do it the whole blood drinking thing anyway? I get wooze at the thought or sight of it so drinking it would be weird. I guess it has benefits since you do get to live forever and won't ever die. I'd pose an even bigger threat to the Slayer which would be cool. I'd have to get a vampire to bite me whcih must really hurt on second thought teeth that are super sharp just doesn't appeal. I wonder if I can create a potion to turn me into plastic so I can stretch and make fast getaways like a giant ball dancing down the street or bouncing I guess. It would be cool to change shape or turn into a wolf or something. A potion to change into something but what I'm not sure. It would have to be something cool of course.
Entry Twenty-one
She got way too close to our lair. Whoa there is like a demon for every season. I called this cool demon that poked Buffy which sent her back and forth between the real world and a made up one. We could totally sit back and watch the events unfold. She totally spaced at work. She has not got a stabel job instead of bouncing back and forth like she did a while back. Whoa this is getting really wild what with her trying to kill everyone. Thanks to the magick bone we got to see Buffy's fake world. She was all mental and schizo which isn't very fun. That cute blonde girl Tara however helped save the day by bursting in and helping while Buffy pulled herself together and killed that demon. That was so cool and I'm glad that on one was badly hurt. The big heist is coming up when we get those special balls. Warren of course as the leader wants first crack at them. Warren is so good although I still think Jonathan may suspect something is up. We need him although I still say we need eight more people but that's not gonna happen.
Entry Twenty-two
That would be so strange to be locked up in some world that wasn't real that had you in a mental ward while you're going about in the real world. That wouldn't be cool at all. I mean that would be horrible although I think I'd so create a better world. Reality isn't always a good thing. I know what kind of world I'd want. I would be worshipped like a god and I would be waited on hand and foot and all the girls would want me including Christina Ricci. It would be her in the flesh and not some toy robot made of nuts and bolts. Now that would totally be cool and of course I'd be able to fly and have x-ray vision. It almost makes me want to summon that demon but I don't think it works that way. It would probably get pretty darn scary so I'll have to find a way to get her in the real world which is very slim right now.
Entry Twenty-three
This is so cool I was able to get my hands on the C3PO card where he totally has a boner. This is so cool and talk about a hard on. I suppose it wouldn't hurt him since he's made of metal which is all hard to begin with so now I have a full set. I totally have the cards in a special case so they stay perfectly preserved. I am having my important stuff stored since this place is temporary and I want my stuff all safe and snug. I'm the only one with a key and I set a trap in case someone tries to break in.
Entry Twenty-four
That was so cool in the cemetary when we were chasing those vampries in our stakemobiles in our quest for the disk. It just sucked when that tree got in my way. Stupid tree but not all was lost for the Slayer showed up and saved the day so the disk was retrieved. It is nearing the end of the Trio just the final mission that will soon be upon us. Jonathan will work his voodoo and show us the way. I kinda feel bad for him btu that's a weakness and I don't want Warren to turn on me too. I do think I'll miss the little guy. I wonder if I can get the bone from him since it could come in handy. Every villian should have some kind of secret weapon. I'm just thinking about that time that I highlight Jonathan's Babylon 5 novels. That day haunts me still since I had to make such a sacrifice. I had to sell my Babylon plates which was quite painful. I went to the store each day to visit them until that horrible day when they were no longer there. Oh the horror to think back on that day when I found my plates gone and ripped away from my loving arms into some stranger's clutches. I just hope they got a good home.
Entry Twenty-five
We had to flee since our cameras were found. That was quite a show at the Magic Box with Spike and Anya. He is so cool and I love his jacket. The Slayer won't get a thing on us with those traps we left behind. I'm just glad that I had my important stuff all safe. We were in a hurry so I had to leave some stuff behind. That was so cool when the magick disk set that map on fire. So we have to kill this demon to get those magickal ors that give a person super strength so we can rob the bank car. I can't think of what they call them. Gobs of cash for all of us and than it will be the two of us. So the Duo looms on the horizon. Actually two is better instead of three. I just don't like it that I'm bait but it's better than wearing the demon's outsides. It will be all gross and squishy. We so could have pulled this off ourselves but Warren wants him there. I just don't trust that little leprechaun. It will be so cool to have super strenth. I wonder if I'll get taller as well as stronger.