Warrior Babes
The Quill 5 and 6

Quill, Writing with Ink Well

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Bad Dreams
 
Haunted by dreams
Sure his friends are in trouble
Went searching for them
Got the terrible news
About his best friends
Determined to take them
Asked for help
Back to Greece he wants to go
To bury them together
 
The War Between Good And Evil
 
There's a war going on between good and evil not only on earth but here in eternity as well. Once there were only angels and then one of our number rebelled and he and his allies were thrown down from Heaven. They've never given up their desire to capture paradise and twist it into their image.
 
Going To Hell
 
If you go down to Hell voluntarily you'll be doomed to everlasting suffering. Gripped with an unbearable thirst and hunger you'll be tempted to eat the fruit of Hell and when you do that you're well on your way to becoming one of them.

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Angels
 
A bodiless, immortal spirt, limited in knowledge and power, accepted in the tradtional belief of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam and other religions. Angels appear frequently in the Bible, often in critical roles, e.g., visiting Abraham and Lot (Gen. 18;19), wrestling with Jacob (Gen. 32.24-32), and guiding Tobit (Tobit 5). The Bible also speaks of guardian angels, protecting individuals or nations (Dan. 10.10-21; Mat. 18.10). In the Gospels an angel announced the Incarnation to the Virgin Mary (Luke 1), and an angel at the empty tomb revealed the Resurrection (Mat 28.1-7). While Judaism has no fixed ordering of classes of angels, Christianity has a specific hierarchy. Codified in its classic form in the 5th cent. by St. Dionysius the Areopagite, in The Celestial Hierarchy. In descending order the ranks of angels of seraphim, cherubim, thrones; dominations, virtues, powers; principalities, arch-angels, and angels. Roman Catholics and the Orthodox venerate angels, and the cult of guardian angels is especially extensive in the West (feast of Guardian Angels: Oct. 2). Protestants have generally abandoned the cult of angels. In Christianity, the angels of Hell, or dark angels, or devils, are the evil counterpart of the heavenly host; the chief of them, Satan (or Lucifer), was cast out of Heaven for leading a revolt. They are often viewed as the inititators of evil temptations. Famous literary treatments of angels are those of John Milton's Paradise Lost and Dante's Divine Comedy. Angels pklay an important role in many other religions. Later Zoroastrian theology has numerous classes of yazatas "worshipful beings." Zoroastrian notions of angels influenced the intricate theories of heavenly beings of Gnostic systems and Manichaeism. In Islam the four archangels Jibrail, Mikail, Israfil, and Izrail (the Angel of Death) often act in place of Allah. The Kiram al-Katibin are the recording angels. According to a popular tradtion, each person has two scribe angels, the one on the right side recording good deeds, the one on the left taking not of transgressions. A lower order of angels is the jinn.
 
Source: Columbia Encyclopedia 

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Demons
 
A demon is a supernatural being, generally malevolent in character. In general, the more civilized Pagan societies came to consider demons as powerful, supernatural beings who lacked the dignity of gods and who, depending on the circumstance might be either benevolent or malevolent in their dealings with men. Some demons, like the Greek Pan were nature spirits; others were guardians of the home or fields or watchers over travelers; still others were spirits of disease and insanity or dream spirits. Some demons were considered to be intermediaries between men and the gods. It was not until the development of late Herabic and Christian thinking that demons came to represent the unqualified malevolence so common in European demonology of the 16th and 17th centuries. This period was a high point in the study of demons, in the speculation on their nature, number, and specific fiendishness. The list compiled in 1589 by a demonologist named Binsfield was considered to be highly authorative; in it he listed the following major demons and their partiuclar evils: Lucifer (pride), Mammon (avarice), Asmoedeus or Ashmodai (lechery), Satan (anger), Beezlebub (gluttony), Levithan (envy), and Belphegor (sloth). The widespread and ancient belief in demons is still a strong force in many regions of the world today.
 
Source: Columbia Encylopedia

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I will never stop hating you Xena do you hear me? Never! You killed my family, my soul, my reason to live and love. And I will spend eternity seeking revenge.  
 
Self Sacrificing Gesture
 
Got set up with a pair of wings
She went to Hell for Gabrielle
Ran into an old enemy
Switched places with Callisto
Unable to bear the suffering
From demon to angel
Cleansed and reborn anew
 
 

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Amarice's Vow
 
Xena they say the dead can hear the thoughts of the living so hear this I'm picking up where you left off. I may never be as good a warrior as you and I know I'll never be as wise but I promise with all my heart and soul to honor the memory of the Warrior Princess.

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Taking Charge In Hell
 
It's time for us to launch a full scale attack. These hit and miss conflicts have done me no good. Why should we suffer we didn't ask to be created. And Heaven should belong to those of us strong enough to take it. Why are we groveling in the slime while they live up there in purity and grace? Someone up there decied that we were evil. Well we're not going to take that. It's time for us to do the judging. Paradise will be ours.
 
Her Plea
 
Gabrielle we shouldn't be fighting. I want to spend eternity wtih you. Won't you join me? Callisto is a trick. They decieve you Gabrielle. Callisto can't change you know that. Our master is greatly pleased when a soul joins him of its own free will. Come with me now. What do you say? Why not? Gabrielle the love that we have it's stronger than Heaven or Hell. It transcends good or evil. It's anend in itself. Our souls are destined to be together. Gabrielle you can't let me walk through Hell alone.

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My friends are dead because of my teachings. The Way of Love wasn't for Gabrielle I was too proud to see that. What good is this gift is I can't at least protect the ones I love? Why did you even give this to me? What am I supposed to do? You show me! What am I supposed to do? Eli
 
Fallen Angel
 
Died together side by side
Nailed to crosses
Left as a reminder
Waiting on a cliff
Down came the angels
To guide them to Heaven
From Hell they came
Down Gabrielle went
Upon hearing of her friend's fate
Xena jumped off the cliff
To get her back
Given a test to make worthy
She becomes an angel
Meanwhile Gabby gets a little demony
Once her enemy on earth
Couldn't bear to see her suffer
Saved Callisto's soul
Took her place in Hell
She returned the favor
Helped restore them to life
Love is the way

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Brought Back
 
Died side by side
Brought back to life
Lacking their clothes
Did a little shoppiong
What a change
Instead of stocking up on scrolls
She appears with sais
Warrior Princess no longer
Going for a very different look
No ass kicking clothes for this girl
Unable to recall any violence
Purified in Heaven
Only one able to touch
The chakram of light
A new chakram balanced
Restores her memory
 
Gabrielle's Way
 
Before Xena and I died I realized that my path is not the same as yours. I tried. The Way of Love is not for me. It's ironic right now Xena is everything I've always wanted her to be but without her dark side she's lost. She's off balance. My path is with Xena helping her however I can. I'll do whatever I have to do to protect her.

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Joxer Gets Advice On Declaring His Love
 
1. Just speak from your heart and keep it simple. Love is the most powerful force on earth.
2. Just tell her and don't attach any strings. Make it unconditional.
 
3. You could just kiss the girl.
 
4. Best not to declare your love during a fight but if you're afraid that she'll die on you just tell her.
 
Gabrielle
 
Hair like sunshine
Sweet lilting voice
Sends chills through me
She used to fight with her little stick
A beautiful Amazon Queen
And really smart too
Just like me
Side by side us warriors
Now she fights with her sais
I Joxer the Mighty
Will love Gabrielle for all eternity
 
I can't have you dying again without letting you know. Brother I had this all worked out in my head and now...I love you. I'm in love with you.

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Ares On Destiny
 
It's all about you and me Xena. Not Kell not even Zeus just the two of us bringing peace and order to the world through force. Something you and I were destined to do together.
 
War Gods
 
Each wants the chakram of light
One of the ways to kill a God
Still trying to get to Xena
A temporary truce is made between the two
Only she can touch the chakram
To save her friend she kills Kell
Decides to balance the chakram
Brought back to herself
 
Xena's Prayer
 
I can make no sense of this. Whoever you are? Whatever you are that brought me back like this I need to know why? I don't know how I'm supposed to be but the others say I'm a warrior that I kill so that innocent people may live. They want me back the way I was. Do you? Is that your plan? Send me a sign. How will I know what's right unless you do? I can't help wondering if we're doing the right thing restoring this darkness my violence can that really be good?
 
Gabrielle's Wisdom
 
I think you have to know the darkest part of yourself to be whole.
 
You have this balance of lightness and darkness. Without both of those the very best in you is defenseless.
 

Fall leaves

Gabby's Rant
 
There were five bandits. Five of them. She could have handled four and I would have been happy with just one. But no no she had to take them all.
 
Mavican
 
Wanting to be Ares heir
Asked to be tested
Decided to kill Xena
To impress Ares
Determined to take her place
Sent off through a portal
A hot temepered diversion
Wants to be his right hand girl
Made a costly mistake
Asked for his help
Causing her downfall
Not her successor after all.
 
Mavican Declares Herself Sane
 
I'm not crazy Gabrielle. Haven't you ever been struck with the difference between us and the Gods? They're immortal because we make them that way. Don't you think there was a moment when Xena just did it all for destiny?

Sun

Leaning tree

Happy moon

Together
 
Through the portal
Alone in the dark
Unable to find her
In the light
No weapons around
Just a fight with a crazy
When the sun goes down
Gabrielle appears
Both in one body
Working as one
Came through it together
 
Note On The Tree Bark
 
If you read this you'll know that I'm here. Ares has merged us into the same body. With the same way the world shares day and night never to see the same two together. Mavican is tough but we can defeat her. A lot of it depends on you though. You figured out part of Ares riddle but you can't kill her Gabrielle it's something that Ares wants to see and I don't know why yet. Together we can get out of this. 

Shield

Ares Looking For An Heir
 
You're not quite there yet. Maybe I've been dismissing you too easily over the years. Maybe the heir to Xena's throne has been right in front of me all along. How's your wound ok. Here's the deal I've learned a few things from Xena and perhaps my way of peace through power isn't quite what I thought it was. No now that is Xena's problem these days she's so set in her ways. She won't even make an effort to see change. Now you should know that more than anyone. It's ok you don't have to answer it's obvious. It's painfully obvious so please don't do to me what Xena does to you just hear me out honestly ok. What I need what I think I've always needed is someone strong enough to lead people. I think the key is to find someone who's learned how to fight but has the discretion not to. Now that's something Xena never had.
 
I want you to look beyond our past. I know how you feel about me you got good reason. Maybe um maybe Gods can change too. Xena, Xena goes home lives with her mother and spends the rest of her years safe in the knowledge that someone she trusts in in control. I want you to think about this but don't think too long. Mavican is really intent on killing Xena of course her destiny is in your hands with this you can kill Mavican. You do that and I'll know you're ready.
 
Years ago Ares said that anyone that asked for his help doesn't deserve it. Xena
 
Tell you what the next bad guy we come across the next seven little bad guys we come across. They're just harder for me to reach. Xena

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You know what if I ever go ga ga like that over anyone you have my permission to kill me. That is so guy. I know you don't have to live with pigs to recognize one. Amarice
 
What do you know about guys you're an Amazon? All you know is shopping for bows and arrows and esmascalation. Joxer
 
We don't need a man to get along. In fact as far as they're concerned you guys are totally dispensible. Amarice
 
Wake Up And Smell The Diapers
 
Keeps dozing off
Going for a rest
Eating strange things
Doesn't feel good
Getting a bit puffy
Off to a healer
For a second opinion
Gets unexpected news
Having a baby
Even though she's been a love free zone
Not sure how but ultimately happy with the news
 
I feel like some raspberry jelly and some raw fish what do ya say? I'm buying.
 
On Getting The News
 
It's impossible I can not be pregnant. If you weren't such a quack you'd know that getting pregnant involves certain physical requirements that I haven't had in a long time and I mean a very long time. No one, zilch, zippo. I am a love free zone. Therefore it is utterly impossible that I'd be up with the duff. So what's your diagnosis now?

Brown horse

A New Friend
 
Caught in a trap
A horse in pain
Talking to calm him
While he's set free
Tending to his wound
She gets an idea
A horse of her very own
Time spent bonding with him
Nearly gave up
But he pulls through
A beautiful relationship begins

Arrow through the heart

Arrow through the heart

A Little Clumsy
 
Into the spa she goes
With an unpleasant sight
That greets her
A man with a very large belly
Not watching where she's going
Knocks over a guy
Pulls him out of the water
Saves his life
So begins an attraction
With a really cute guy
Off she goes and slips on the floor
Laughs at her which pisses her off
Gives him a few choice words
Back and forth they go
But they part with a kiss
 
Xena's Advice
 
Either you kiss him or you kill him but either way it doesn't seem to make a difference.
 
Now I know that any fool can risk his life. It takes a hero to risk his heart.

Skull

Red skull

A Vision
 
Her unborn child's in danger
Off to the Northern Amazons they go
For Yakoot's help
Someone's trying to steal the soul
An old enemy who's back
Steal's the baby's soul
Wanting back into the world
Causing a distraction
Fighting on the spirtual realm
While the others wait for a sign
It comes and the amber is used
Trapping Alti's soul
The baby is back where it belongs
 
Xena's Promise
 
There aren't many guarantees in life but I promise you this if you harm my child I will hound you. I will hound you throughout all time and between worlds. I will be your eternal damnation. I'd kill myself before I'd let your soul replace my child's. 
 

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Chia The Amazon Mystic
 
No need for me to appear frightening my child. Facing one's self can be crippling even for the most hardened warrior.
 
You and Xena were right what you see isn't always what you get. I thought that if I denied that enough times I'd make it true. I had no identity so I created one. The thing I always wanted to be an Amazon. You know I just wanted to feel like I was part of something.
 
Gabrielle's Wisdom
 
Look for many years I walked in Xena's shadow. I wanted to be her. She taught me something it's warmer standing in the sun.

Mountains

The hawk and the dove must be made one with the wisdom. Lao Ma
 
A man who does not honor his ancestors is a man without morals. And that makes him most dangerous indeed. Pao Su
 
Black Powder: Legend says a Chinest cook discovered it by accident.
 
A word of caution before you cut off the dragon's head you must be sure it can not grown another one more deadly. Kao Sin
 
The ancient warriors of Chin believed that in order to achieve ultimate victory you must annihilate your enemies completely. 
 
Lao Ma's Book Of Wisdom
 
Warning: The more that each of us uses the power the stronger we all become.
 
The entire world is driven by a blind will, blind and ruthless. In order to transcend the limitations of the physical world, one must cease desiring and become what we desire. To conquer others is to wield power. To conquer ourselves it to know the way.
 
Knowing the way is like being a child. Laughing and crying all day without being hoarse. Small people hate loneliness, but the master makes it her home, her source, her mother for she knows it allows her to be one with the universe. The master knows no expectations. And therefore no disappointments. And thus, she stays young forever. To conquer yourself is to know the way.
 
To achieve perfect stillness, one must cease to will and submit to the greater whole. If something can be imagined, it can also be realized. Anything is possible.
 
Fear is the weapon of the wicked, but a tool of the righteous. End the war between the mind and the heart. Peace must be found within before it can be actualized.

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Black Powder
 
It's black powder an ancient Chin formula. The Kings of Chin have forbideen it's production for many centuries but now an evil warlord named Go Kuu has rediscovered it and broken the taboo. A man who does not honor his ancestors is a man without morals and that makes him most dangerous indeed.
 
Black Powder: Sulphur, Charcoal, and Saltpeter
 
Xena On People
 
There are people you meet who move in and out of your life like ghosts. And after they're gone you find they've left a part of themselves with you. It's as if in some small way their spirt helps to define who you are and what you want to bring to the world.
 
Joxer On His Flight
 
Xena you won't believe it. It was incredible. I was like a bird. I could see the trees. The ocean.
 
You weren't high enough to see the tops of my socks dummy. Xena
 
It takes a great strength to show compassion. Xena
 
Smart Guy
 
Never underestimate a cook
Off they go on a mission
To find the ingredients for black powder
In the market place looking for spices
Soaking up the local culture
He knows his spices but not how to haggle
Got some new clothes to blend in
Made a very bad mistake
In for a little Chinese water torture
With her foot she got creative
Got the pouch of black powder
With a rock created a spark
Setting them both free
Came through in finding the recipe

Pink bunny

Blue Bunny

Absolute Stillness

Trying to recapture the power
Instead the rabbit turned to stone
Unable to control it
Can't harness the power
After the fight with Pao Su
Black powder in Joxer's pocket
Touching it triggered a vision
Watching those she loves die
Death all around her
Must go back there
To finish it once and for all
Stopped a way with the power of love
An army of one hundred thousand all turned to stone
Got back in touch with the power big time
Saving many innocent lives
 
Souls Not At Rest
 
The ancients believed when a soul is not at rest it lingers in the realms between the living and the dead.
 
Lin Chee's Thoughts On Gabrielle
 
When you're born with the gift of the bard you die with it. I think you're selling yourself short. I know that someone who's willing to die for a cause greater than herself is a merciful bard and that's where all great stories come from.

Bonfire

Bonfire

Trapped
 
Off to destroy the powder
Trapped in a net
Surrounded by the powder
Flames licking away
Calling out for Xena
Such a strong connection
Feeling her fear
She calls on the wind
Air being sucked away
Take a deep breath
Flame blows out
Both are safe and sound
Finish what they came for
 
You know sometimes people think that a home is a place. It can be a person. Gabrielle
 
Kao Su's Words
 
You always have and always will walk the Way of the Warrior but remember there are many ways to win a war. They do not all involve a sword.
 
Helpful Tip: If you have trouble pulling your sword out of it's scabbard for the Gods sake practive to prepare for when you'll need to use your sword in a hurry.
 
Joxer's Version Of The Events
 
Who was gonna pull their swords first me or them? I looked them in the eye than whang ten of 'em wnet down right then and there before me. Well bravery isn't really the word for it it's more like incredible chilvary because right then and there wave after wave came wham hah blood everywhere and then right in fron of me Kahn's entire army hundreds, thousands, hundreds of thousands came at me. I wham ten of 'em went down. Whang wham spurting blood everywhere and they ran I dropped my sword but then Kahn came right towards me. I looked at him and took my hand and reached into his chest and pulled out his beating heart.

Daisy

Daisy

Trading Places
 
A little girl unconscious
Sisters don't hold much hope
Wanting to help her
Says she'd trade places
Aphrodite made a switch
Just wanting to help out
She awakens with a glitch
Xena is sharing Daphne's body
Switching back and forth
Looking for a way to set things right
The oil that Castor and Pollux use
Will set things straight
 
A rose is the crown of your garden but the daisy is its heart.
 
You can eat flowers: Not true in fact you can and that includes daisies.
 
Getting Into The Gemini Club
 
Seeing Double
 
1. Wear the same outfit and be attached to one another. A toga is a good choice.
 
2. Wear wigs so your hair looks the same.
 
3. You are new in town and have a accent and place in mind to say you came from like Vahallan.
 
4. Just nod when Castor and Pollux talk in your "language".
 
5. Have names read like Brunna and Hilda.
 
6. Have explanation ready for the difference in height. I got the looks and me sister got the muscle.
 
7. Mention that you wrestle in oil and you are so in.
 
8. Once you get what you want leave quickly.
 
9. Don't forget the real reason you've come to the club.
 
Fighting should always be a last resort. Xena
 
Fisherman turned Fighter: Just think of them as really mean trout.
 
Xena On Being A Kid
 
You know some people think it's easy being a kid but in a lot of ways it harder than being an adult.

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For as long as we can remember we've been slaves to the Gods. It's time we took our lives back into our own hands. (Destroy us if we defy the Gods) That's what they want you to believe. The Gods rule through fear but it is they who are afriad. Afraid we'll realize the truth. Our teacher will show you the way as he's shown us. Some of us don't want to live in fear anymore. I'm sure your hear is in the right place but we're doing this to save you too.
 
All right ease up you'll all be much more comfortable walking without a limp. Xena
 
The Way Of Love
 
And so you must cast all hate and violence from your heart. Mine is the way of life.
 
The Truth
 
It's life that we must revere it wherever we find it. To bring peace to this world I have to teach mankind a reverence for life. (If knocked down) Then I'd get up. Then I'd get up again if I could. But under no circumstances would I fight back if I did I would simply be perpetuating the cycle of violence that has ravaged the earth for centuries. That cycle has to be broken and the truth is that it can only be done through non violence.
 
It's hard the Way of Love. It may not be right for you but if you choose to follow it you must do so with all your heart. You'll fail more than once but don't give up hope in the end will redeem the world.
 
 But if you love with all your heart and soul if you become love itself then you can heal. Selfless pure love is the only divine expression of perfection we have in this world. It's the greatest power one can possess.
 
In order to become a perfect vessel for love one has to cease all activity not only physical but mental as well. It's only when you've reached that state of emptiness that you're ready at least to be filled with love.
 
We don't need a sacred dagger. Love is the only weapon we need. The weapon that Gods neither have nor understand. And so they can't defend themselves against it. True love can not exist without the risk of loss. The Gods are immortal my friends. What can they possibly know about loss? We don't need to fear them anymore. It's their turn to fear us. The war against the Gods is not a war of violence it's a war of peace. The time of the Olympians is over. The Gods have no choice but to give us what is rightfully ours. Let them come. Love will be our shield and our weapon. I never ask them to do anything that I'm not prepared to do myself including dying.
 
For as long as we can remember we've been slaves to the Gods. It's time we took our life back into our own hands. The Gods rule through fear but it's they who are afriad. Afraid we'll realize the truth.
 
We are united in the spirit of love and no one can stand against us. If we are joined in peace and friendship then we have no need of the Gods. 

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Eli has a destiny to fulfill. He's brought hope to the world and if that's to survive he's gonna have to face this challenge alone.
 
The kingdom of Heaven is beautiful Eli. The new world can only be built on the foundation of the old one. The order of the Gods must fall. And you Eli are the hammer.
 
Remember in everyting you do we are always with you.
 
Eli lived and died by his message. And as long as you keep it in your heart his spirit will live on.
 
I've spent my time in Heaven trying to recouncile the monster I was with the being that I am now and I've come to realize that we are all born of two natures Xena good and evil. The side we choose to nurture defines who we are.

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9 times out of 10 the first strike means victory. Gabrielle
 
Tip: Don't be so quick to pull out your weapons since it could be a hanky.
 
The Twilight
 
The Fates spoke of a time when mankind would no longer need the Gods. And they would lose their power.
 
Full Circle
 
With child unexpectedly
The truth comes out
Impregnated by an angel
Callisto gave this gift
Time for her to be reborn
Could think of no greater mother
Old wounds are healed
Giving back what they once took
From each other

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Talking To Eli
 
Is this your big accomplishment Eli? If I hadn't listened to you I wouldn't be talking to your ashes. You probably think that I'm betraying you by standing with Ares but I'm just trying to use his knowledge for the greater good. I keep telling myself that. You believe in me Eli. You always knew we were always on a separate path. Have faith in me now.
 
Where Xena Comes From
 
It's easy to preach abou peace when you live in heaven. Where I come frm you've got to fight for what you believe in.
 
Your enduring faith in one another is the greatest miracle of all. Eli

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Draco's Love
 
How can you say it's a spell when I would gladly tear out my own spleen and carve your initials on the side of it just to prove my undying love for you.
 
Playing Match Maker
 
Upon hearing the news
Went looking for her
Found out it was true
About to become a grandma
She makes it her mission
To find a man for her daughter
A father for the child
Wonders who the father is
Driving her daughter crazy
But her heart's in the right place
 
Personals
 
Xena: Single Greek female seeks marriage and stable provider to raise a child and to dote with an exceptional mother who doesn't look a day over twenty.
 
Triplets
 
Three in all
Identical in looks
Different as can be
Jace the eldest
With his flashy ways
Quite the etertainer
Next comes Jett
An assassin for hire
Off to jail with dad
Joxer the youngest
Delusions of grandeur
But with a really good heart
And such a dear friend
 
Do birds fly? Do bees buzz? Do I take a bath once a month whether I need it? Joxer

Scroll, Spinning

Scroll, Spinning

Writer's Block
 
It was the kind of night when you could feel time flow over you llike the Amnesiatic waters of the River Styx.
 
May cause you to make up words which isn't necessarily a bad thing.
 
Gabrielle's Scrolls
 
You see these. These are my scrolls. I wrote all of them. It's like a like a diary of my travels with Xena. When I wrote them I just felt so complete. I don't know why I sopped. Something keeps telling me that I have to start writing again. It's not that easy. I I I don't have time for it for one thing.
 
Talking About Today
 
Today started like any other day. Xena, Joxer, and I were trying to find a name for Xena's baby. I came up with the best one. "How about the name Rochelle?"
 
I haven't been cranky for years. Xena
 
I'm in full control of my mood swings. Xena

Brown horse

Taking Care Of Argo
 
You take good care of my baby. Make sure you rinse her down with cold water and hitch her to something. She'll probably come looking for me.
 
It doesn't take a genius to wash a horse. Gabrielle
 
Tip: Be careful where you get the water or you could end up with a shrunken horse and later may get shrunken yourself.
 
Just Add Water
 
Went to wash Argo
Didn't see the dedication
An honest mistake was made
Divine retribution struck
Argo was shrunk
By the God Lachromose
The God of Despair
Only one way to restore her
Make him laugh
 
Storytelling VS Writing
 
It's similar but with writing it's like talking to yourself. It's a way that you can work thing sout. Of course I know now exactly who I am. Haven't you every had an artistic impulse that's like a bad itch and you have to keep working on it until you get it out?
 
Joxer Helps Out
 
Oh Lachromose God of Despair. Hear my plea and appear. Life is so awful. It all started when I was a child. I was a happy kid at first but then mom and dad started fighting. He'd get tanked and take the chariot. No matter who tried to stop him. One day he lost control of it. Mom took it hard and then took a couple arrows from dad's creditor's.
 
Some wounds never heal. Lachromose
 
Never pie a pregnant woman.
 
Gabrielle Figures It Out
 
That's the answer. Ever since Xena became pregnant I have been trying to find a way to make the world a better place. And I've allowed no time for those things I love like my writing. I think I've been too afraid that I've lost that part of me that's a bard. Anyway maybe my writing will help Xena's baby figure out who he or she really is.
 
And the day ended as it began along side my friends. 

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The Fates
 
As it has been since time beyond the memory you will continue to rule supreme among supreme. Until such time as a child will not be gotten by man is born. A time that is fast approaching.
 
Zeus
 
Nonesense everything that breathes upon this earth breathes because we've given it life. Our dominion is eternal. Because I have always been the master of fate. I'm not about to become its servant.
 
Peroxicidicae- kill one and the rest grow stronger-Zeus's secret guard
 
Zeus On Hercules
 
He has managed to do something that we Gods have tried and failed to accomplish. He has earned humanity's love in every gesture except fear.
 
Hera On The World
 
In order to let sunlight into the world Kronos removed one of his ribs and crafted it into a dagger. With it he pierced the blackness and light spilled from the heavens like blood.
 
Look you stalking me isn't helping the trust factor. Xena
 
This isn't your standard God obsession. I'm having urges that I'm not real proud of.  Ares
 
I have feelings for you. Ok I care about you damn it. I see your face everywhere. Ares
 
I am pregnant not brain damaged. Xena
 
The birth of Xena's baby approaches bringing about the death of the Gods. The Fates
 
 

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The Birth
 
The time is approaching
Running into some trouble
Fighting for Xena's baby
Who has been sentenced to death
Into Hades domain they go
To get the helmet of invisibility
A heart breaking sight
Solan in Tartarus
Watching the times past
That he spent with his mom
Only way to be with her
Took him to where he belongs
Before he goes off he whispers
Giving his sister a name
In the Elysian Fields where he belongs
 
Tip: Fighting during labor helps keep your mind off the pain.
 
Every time a God dies the ground shakes.
 
Zeus' Final Words
 
You may have sworn never to call me father again but you will always be my son. Every son must eventually take his father's place like I did mine. Hercules you've never disappointed me especially today.
 
All my life I've told people that they can live without the Gods. I guess we'll find out. Hercules 

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The Three Magi
 
A new day. A new life for us all. Your child ushers in a new world without Gods. A world where every man is master or his own fate and a birth should not go unremarked. Or uncelebrated though the gifts we bring are humble.
 
Grain: to nourish
Fruit: to sweeten her days
Oil: to soothe your way
 
I think I just don't show it. Joxer
 
The Uses Of Diapers
 
1. You can throw a dirty diaper at the bad guy coming towards you.
 
2. You can use the pins to kill by throwing them at their heads.
 
3. You can use a clean diaper as a whip to knock around the bad guys.
 
Ares Plans
 
All I want is to end myhy life the way it really started riding side by side with you. Then so will I a fight is a fight no matter whic side you're on.
 
Enough said perhaps I've been a tad overzealous but all I want is to have you back. To have things the way they were before but all that's changed. There is no going back you've seen to that. I have a short span of time and then I'm gone. The question is will you forgive me? I want to be with you Xena and I'll do whatever it takes to make that happen. To prove myself. To make you trust me.
 
Xena On Dreams
 
You can't trust any of them not dreams, not visions, not even premonitions. No, none of them mean what you think. They're either all symbolic or they play on words that you only half remembering hearing. Well sometimes they're quite literal but the best thing to do with a dream is just to ignore it. I think it was Autolycus that said, "Sometimes a dream is just a dream." I seem to be looking for hidden meanings in things or secret messages that your God is trying to send you. It's just ludicrous. It's crazy. Crazy.
 
Give Me A Child
 
Facing the end
The God comes up with a plan
Fear a brand new feeling
Soon a God no longer
Asks for a child
To continue his line
Live out his days
At the side of Xena
The woman he loves
Even saves her child
As proof of his love 
 
On The Run
 
Running for their lives
Hunted down by the Gods
Blamed for the death of Zeus
Determined to kill an innocent child
Wanting to stop the Twilight
They throw everything at them
Worshippers dedicated to their Gods
Attempt to kill the baby
Joxer catches up to them
Accidentally bringing some trouble
In the fight he gets hurt
A poison that will kill
Racing to the mandrake tree
To save his life with the antidote
All ends well this round
Will all four of them safe and sound 

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Maybe you won't mind finding your head lopped of next to your feet when you wake up in the morning. Joxer
 
Poisoned by Apollo
 
A red line will move from the wound to the heart.
 
Love
 
Why don't you love me?
Heart filled with such love
All for you
Feelings not returned
You make me feel special
I'll love you always
 
You're so beautiful Gabrielle. Did I ever tell you that? I kind of miss your long hair you know. You used to wear it up like a princess braided like a warrior. Sometimes you'd have it down and you'd look like an angel.
 
Fly scroll in the air if you can't make a fire. Tie it to a tree so you can be found.
 
How come there was never an us Gabrielle?
On Love
 
I know why because you made me feel special. Not special enough. Why didn't you love me?
 
Xena's Words Of Wisdom
 
Perhaps the greater wrong is to never fight at all.
 
You know what I think that it doesn't matter where we take a stand as long as we take one.

Simple house

Xena Comes Home
 
All right listen up. The last thing I wanted to do was bring an army down on your heads but I'm not sacrificing my child. Not for the sake of a selfish pack of Gods who don't give a damn about the human suffering they cause.
 
Cyrene Stands Up To Athena
 
Hasn't this village given up enough of its children? I've already lost a son and a grandsom I never even met. Well I won't give up this child not even for the Gods themselves.
 
Making A Stand
 
Not willing to give in
Ready to fight
Even against Athena
And her army
They all band together
Singing the anthem
Bring about the word of Eli
The only God who was worthy of respect
 
A great commander always looks beyond what their opponent is doing to see if there is a deeper strategy. Athena
 
If you see someone with Greek Fire run like Tartarus.
 
It's useless to hide behind a barrel although a Warrior Princess can cathc the arrow with the greatest of ease.
 
Xena On Warriors
 
Warrior likes us make our own fate. I have a proposal for you a fair fight no tricks, no godlike powers and if I win you spare Even and leave these people in peace.
 

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An Offer
 
In an effort to save her child
She bargains with Ares
Offers herself to him
Her body and the sword that wields it
Thinking with his codpiece
He agrees to the deal
His fondest desire
The woman he loves is waiting
But things get cut short
Helps out even though
The deal was never sealed
A timely explosion stops the fun
Outsmarted once again
But she did feel something
Maybe a little something
 
The Deal
 
I believe we discussed a deal. Cut the crap I'm ready to bargain. You fight beside me and we can defeat Athena. What's in it for you? Me. You help me defeat Athena and I'm yours. For years you've been wanting me to be your Warrior Queen. Well I'm offering you my sword and the body that wields it. Olympus is doomed. Zeus is dead and whatever happens here their reign is over. You want immortality a child is immortality. A legacy. A lineage. You help me save my daughter and you'll be her father. Through her we can live forever. I'm offering you everything you've ever wanted. Take it.
 
No no you don't. You're up to something. I've desired you from the very first time I saw you in battle and now after all these years, after all the games the cat and the mouse will I won't I Ares take me I'm yours it's too easy. No you don't but you always come up with some way to mess with my head.
 
They say blood is thicker than water but blood runs hard when love is involved. Ares
 
 

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Gabby's Rant
 
Do you want to give Eve to Athena? Does anybody else feel that way? We give up the baby and go back to our fields in peace until the next God comes along and they want your child or yours. We're not fighting for Xena we're fighting for ourselves for our right to be treated like human beings not game pieces. If any one of you is willing to give up their own child then speak up because I will not have you fighting next to me.

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Helpful Tip: Don't refer to the baby as an it also baby back ribs aren't baby food. Babies don't have teeth.
 
Dueling Goddesses
 
Ruined someone's fun
Throwing a love bolt
Plans for him
Now he's plucking petals
Sitting with a bunch of daisies
Hurling bolts back and forth
Knocking Gabby into the water
Meeting at Olympus to settle the score

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Hagar's Speech
 
And so wise memebers of council if elected President I promise that I will not rest until I have established schools for our little fishes everywhere.
 
Helpful Tip: Have the kids untie you before ordering them to their rooms.
 
Under The Sea
 
Fell into the sea
Sinking deeper and deeper
All turns black
Eyes open to see
A whole new world
Under the sea
A tail instead of feet
A mermaid is she
Fins in sea
Feet on land
A family is found
Three strange kids
A strange husband too
With a touch of a pig in him
But kinda sweet in the end

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Sabatoge
 
Out to catch Hagar
The two fight it out
Get Crustacea out of the way
With the potion causing amnesia
Decides to stop giving it
An accident is planned
Accidentally on purpose
Proves a bit of a challenge
Nothing seems to work
Fighting like cats
Hissing and scratching
Wanting Hagar to be their man
 
Helpful Tips: If you get too close to you edge you just might get knocked into the pool. A knife comes in handy when attacked by an escaped octopus. Hair pins can come in handy when looking for a weapon to knock some skanky hoes around that are pretending to be your best friends.
 
How Hagar Met Crustacea
 
Sunny Day
 
It was a beautiful sunny day
When first we met
Bucket struck me down
It came out of nowhere
Fell to the ground
Pretended to be unconscious
So he could kiss the girl

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Mermaid Tales
 
One night a man was walking along the beach and saw a group of Mermaids and mermen dancing in the moonlight. Their sealskins, which enable them to live at the depths of the sea, were piled up on the sand beside them. After the danced each Mermaid and merman picked up its skin and dove into the water. One of the Mermaids forgot her sealskin, and the man found it and took it home. The next day when he returned to the water he saw a beautiful maiden crying on a rock. She was weeping over the loss of her sealskin; without it she could not live in her home beneath the sea. The man had never seen such a beauty and he fell passionately in love with her. When she beeged him to return her skin, he refused, asking her instead to live with him. He promisded to lvoe her so much that she would forget all about her watery dwelling. She realized she could not change his mind, and so agreed. The two were married and had two children. The man was happy but his supernatural wife wanted nothing more than to return to the depths. Every day she would sit on the rocks and gaze sadly at the water. One day her son found the sealskin that his father had hidden, and he innocently brought it to his mother to ask her what it was. She wept with joy. She kissed her son for the last time. "Farewell!" she called, as she ran across the sand. At that moment the man saw his wife running towards the water, sealskin in hand, and hurried to stop her. But he was too late and she never returned to him again.
 
The German Tale Of Undine
 
A fisherman and his wife lost their beloved daughter, Bertha, who fell into the lake and presumably drowned. During a tempestous storm the following evening, the grief stricken couple heard a knock on their door, and in from the winds and torrential rain came a pretty laughing child who said she did not know where she had come from but she had fallen into the lake and her name was Undine. The couple raised her as their own and tried to ignore her wayward disposition and her habit of running wild through the rain and singing, although it caused them great anxiety. One evening when the child had grown to young womanhood, a knight named Hildebrand passed by the cottage. He was lost and seemed quite sad because of his hopeless love for a proud young woman named Bertha. A sudden storm raged outside and the knight was forced to stay for several days until it had subsided. He became enchanted by Undine, and finally proposed marriage. (The true story: When Bertha fell into the lake, the sea fairies decided to send their own Undine to be raised by a human family, marry a human man, and thus gain a soul. They delivered Undine to the bereaved couple and sent Bertha farther down the lake to a childless noble couple who raised her as their own.) Undine worried at the wedding ceremony that "there must be something extremely awful about a soul," but out of love she went on with it and seemed to undergo a radical change. She became oddly tender, meek, and helpful and even seemed content doing domestic chores. But after a short time there was a reunion of Bertha and Hildebrand and he realized he loved Bertha still. He spoke angrily to Undine, although she warned him never to speak to her harshly especially near water because the result could be dreadful. In response to his cruel outburst as they were out boating, she fell into the lake, saying only "Woe" as she vanished into the water. Hildebrande made plans to remarry, but on his wedding day he saw the door of his bedroom chamber open very slowly and watched in terror as the spirit on Undine entered. "You will die," she said quietly. Then she took him in her arms and kissed him to death.
 
Merman Tale
 
Once there was a Merman, who befriended a neighboring farmer, say a miller, and invited the human being to dine with him in his underwater palace. The neighbor accepted the invitation, and found himself fathoms deep, enchanted by the magnificent rooms all filled with golden treasures, the floor made of pearls, emeralds, rubies, and the walls of shells studded with jewels, all blazing with light from huge crystal chandeliers. After a sumptious meal, the man was about to leave when he noticed many pots overturned on the floor in the long halls. He asked what the objects were for and the merman replied casually that they held the captive souls of the drowned he was known to keep. The neighbor said nothing, but he was deeply disturbed by the proof of such rumors and could not forget it. Sometime later, when he was sure the Merman had gone out, he carefully descended and again came to the enchanting palace. He retraced his steps to the long halls and there, one by one, he overturned the pots and all the souls floated up through the water to finally be delivered. 
 

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Mermaids
 
A sea dwelling creature commonly respresented as having the head and body of a woman and a fishtail instead of legs. Belief in mermaids, and in their counterpart, mermen, has existed since earliest times. They are often described as having great beauty and charm, which they use to lure sailors to their deaths. In some legends they assumed human shape and married mortals. The origin of the mermaid is thought by some to be the dugong.
 
Sirens
 
In Greek mythology, one of three nymphs, usually represented with the head of a woman and the body of a bird. Daughters of Phorcus or of Achelous, the Sirens inhabited an island surrounded by dangerous rocks. They sang so enchantingly that all who heard were drawn near and shipwrecked. Jason and the Argonauts were saved from them by the music of Orpheus, whose songs were lovelier. Odysseus escaped them by having himself tied securely to a mat and by stopping the ears of his men.
 
Sirenians
 
A large aquatic mammal of the order Sirenia. Living sirenians are the dugong and the manattee, both found in warm, shallow waters in sheltered regions, where they feed on seaweeds and sea grasses. Sirenians are the only marine animals, outisde of the whale order, that spend their entire lives in the water, and they are the only marine mammals that feed exclusively on vegatation. Thier heavy, thickset bodies are fishlike in form, the tail ending in a horizontally flattened fin. There are no hind legs, and the forelegs are modified into weak flippers. The gray skin is completely hairless, except for the bristles around the fleshy lips; the upper lip is cleft, and holds the pup in her flippers while nursing. It has been speculated that the manatees, which nurse on the water's surface, are the source of mermaid legends.
 
Source: Columbia Encylcopedia
 
Mermaids (Global)
 
A species of human size and are rapacious. They live in salt water though they've also been sighted in lakes and as far inland as many coastal fishes. The mermaid always has shining hair streaming in wavelets over ample breasts and very fair skin. The skin is so strong that it could be used for making soles of boots that would last for three years or more. Her seal-like lower torso that ends in one or two fish tails is conviently hidden by surf. The species is long necked and comely with distinctive voice and luring song. From ancient Greece come three supernatural spirits whose images and attitudes contribute to the developement of the Mermaid: Skylla ("Bitch"), the six headed monster with triple rows of teeth in each canine mouth who could devour six sailors at a time when their ships sailed close enough to her cave; the Sirens with women's heads and bird bodies, later seen with fish tails, who sand irresistibly. They are irresponsible rather than malevolent.
 
Mermen (Global)
 
The male of the species is said to have a powrful, attractive upper torso, a fish bottom and a hollow look in his eyes. He is reputedly always lusting after human females and carrying them off whenever possible. It is said that the Merman keeps the souls of the drowned sailors under pots or in cages under the water palace at the very depths of the sea, lake, or river.   

Xena's Thoughts
 
I used to think that I had to go through life alone that anything else was a sign of weakness. So I traded my home and family for violence and blood so much blood.
 
A Precious Gift
 
Wanting to gift Eve
Gives her the Rite of Caste
Making her an Amazon Princess
Loves her like her own
A place for her to belong
Bringing life to the tribe
Cermonies oh so bloody
A time for change
Otherwise they face their destruction
Making new traditions
 
Samsara: cycle of continuous rebirth
 
Helpful Tip: You don't eat horses. Horses aren't food. You ride them to travel to places.
 
Northern Amazons
 
Even when my people mourn they think of nothing but revenge. Xena it's ingrained in our culture even when new sisters join the tribe they're base in blood.

Domestic Bliss
 
Safe and soung
From the Greek Gods
Thoughts of staying
Among the Amazons
One's found a place
The other not really
Bored at the quite
Whittling is fun
A friendship so dear
As immortal as the Gods
After a brief stay
Off they go together
Awaiting their next adventure
 
Xena says it's good to have a balance of work and play. Ariss
 
While Gabrielle Is Queening
 
relax
 
clean
 
play with daughter
 
hunt and kill something
 
reading Gabrielle's scrolls
 
get the sidekick wannabee to clean so you don't have to
 
fishing

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Helpful Tips: If you see Amazons bathing don't hide and peep in the bushes since it coems with dire circumstances. Being caught can also cause your self esteem to take a beating not to mention the stuff thrown at you can get pretty messy and smelly. Some names you might be called are: pervert, loser, fat prick. Also being locked in the stocks isn't a fun way to spend the day and it's murder on the spine.
 
The Peeper
 
There he came
A bunch of girls bathing
Hiding in the bushes
Peeping away
For his crime
Put in the stocks
Bad luck struck
Eye gouged out
Is the punishment
Shown mercy
Turn for the worse
Was caught kissing
Out of season
Sentenced to death
Declared dead
Didn't need to stay dead
Some laws were changed then

Toilet

Toilet

I need to use the little warrior's room. Look you can either take me to those bushes over there or help me by dropping my pants right here. Joxer
 
What Xena Looks For In A Sidekick According To Joxer
 
1. Lots of flips would be good. It is essential to be flexible.
 
2. A good war cry is always tops on the list. Sounding like a yak in heat isn't a good war cry. So experiment before revealing your war cry.
 
Joxer On Men
 
Hey listen we're not just machines you know you can use to besides you know we can't just do it on command. We need stuff like uh cheap motel rooms and dirty pictures and lingerie and stuff like that. We're not animals. But I can get those things.
 
Joxer The Stud
 
Oh I get it I was a sexual object. Use and then toss away the baloney pony a disposable stud. All right.

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Scroll, Spinning

Full Moon
 
A ceremony so important
Part of becoming Queen
Wearing no clothes at all
Paying tribute to the moon
Covered all in mud
Howling at the moon
All the night through
 
The Return Of Callisto
 
I sing of the wrath of Callisto
The pain of Gabrielle
And the courage of Xena
And the inevitable mystery
of a friendship as immortal as the Gods.
 
Xena's Thoughts On Gabby's Writing
 
I think that anyone who writes like you can who can find grace and meaning in everything that happens she's sure to make a wonderful queen. And that's worth sticking around to see. 

Talking mouth

I am Xena the ultimate woman versus Joxer the ultimate meat boy. And I will crush his head like a peanut between the thighs of doom.
 
Many call her Xena the champ but I call her Xena the chump. In round one I will mash her between the jaws of death. In round two I'll crush her in the ultimate hold. In round three there is no round three.
 
What constitutes death? For instance I just shut off the flow of blood to his brain. Xena

Red Beating Heart

Red Beating Heart

Cleopatra
 
Confident of herself
A crisis arises while naked
Seems to always happen
When she's bathing
Sure all will be fine
A scroll is delivered
Urgent message from Rome
With a nasty surprise inside
A snake strikes her down
The milk she bathes in runs red
Her life blood spills forth
Utters her final words
Send for Xena

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Getting A Guy's Attention
 
1. Roll yourself up in a carpet naked and in chains.
 
2. To spice things up even further ask him to release you and give him the key with a kiss. "I am Cleopatra Queen of Egypt and slave of Rome.
 
3. Invite him to the palace and dress the part.
 
4. Be careful of the bad boy.
 
5. Take a bath and invite him to join you. You may as well get a little pampering in while pretending to be a Queen.
 
6. Sometimes you just have to take a risk. After all you are in complete control of the situation.
 
Just Her Type
 
On a mission
But he walks in
Searching for a killer
Just her type
A bad boy so sexy
She's in complete control
Getting under his skin
A touch of the romance
Ending up on the pointed end of a sword
His feelings were true
But he enjoyed spilling blood too much

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Antony Wants Her Love
 
The first time I saw you I knew a man would give up a kingdom for such a woman. There's nothing that I've learned since that would change my mind.
 
Tip: Don't kill everyone that attacks you since one could prove useful as a messenger.
 
Octavius' Idealism
 
Tears are for boys. I need to put them behind me and think of my people.
 
My uncle exploited the peoples of the world for his ambition. I want to correct that to bring them Roman peace. Pax Romana.
 
Xena's Soft Spot
 
You're right Gabrielle I do have a soft spot for bad boys. Even worse is a bad boy who loves like a fool.
 
Antony's Plans
 
Perhaps when we have dealt with Brutus a journey on the central borders of the Nile. On a golden barge with oars of silver which will keep stroking to the tune of the flutes and make the waters which they beat follow faster. As though amorous of each stroke. With Egypt's navy we can not lose.
 
Death has no respect for rank. Octavius
 
Remember Cleopatra
 
It cost Cleopatra her life make sure it was worth it. Cleopatra always put the well being of her kingdom ahead of her own. Respect this. She died inthe hope that the Egyptian people might for the first time choose their next great leader. She was Egypt. 

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Here celebrations in Thebes and Egypt were cut short because Xena the mighty Warrior Princess fought both night and day for the life of her newborn child. As she continued to sing the rage of her Olympian foes. The ceaseless battles finally drove her to the Fates to search for answers.

The Fates
 
You wish us to speak of your child. Your child Xena will bring forth the Twilight and usher in a new beginning. The Twilight will occur in time. The time depends on you Xena. You must die Xena. Only in the essence of death will the child find salvation and the Twilight be set in motion. Until then a storm without end lies upon your path and hers.

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Celesta
 
It is not in death's nature to discriminate. As long as my flame continues to burn death will remain a part of life forever Athena. Prophecy or not is it forbidden for any mortal to be taken before their rightful time.
 
Always With A Plan
 
Trying to save her daughter
She pays the Fates a visit
Gets a brilliant idea
In the essence of death
The only way to save her
Picks a fight with Hephasteaus
Summoning death herself
Wipes away her tears
The cart goes over the cliff
Appears that Gabrielle and Eve died
Full of grief Xena takes her life
But all is not as it seems
 
Celesta
 
Even giving birth to a child isn't enough to sway someone so grounded in their beliefs. By holding me here you're condemning to eternal suffering those who otherwise would find their peace. Death is nothing to fear Xena for I only visit those who's rightful time it...
 
Xena Makes Death Cry
 
Solan my only son his rightful time came when someone else decided it should and you came running no questions asked. It didn't end the suffering of my little boy Celesta. You stole his life and Marcus and Lyceus. Lyceus Lyceus he wasn't just a brother he was my best friend. You know growing up he was everything to me. He accepted me for who and what I was. And if you hadn't take him he would have grown up to be...

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Each to his own you to yours and me to mine. Ares you can't stop me this time. It's over. It's over. Join your family tell them that they get me too.
 
You're with her now. I handled you all wrong I know that. She knew what you needed unconditional and unselfish love and I couldn't give that to you. But I appreciated you in ways she never could your rage, your violence, your beauty. When you sacrificed yourself for others you were hers but when you kicked ass you were mine. I love you Xena.

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I'm Livia
 
A fierce warrior named Livia
The emperor's bitch
She's all grown up
Enjoys the shedding of blood
Slaughtering Eli's followers
Engaged to Augustus
Ares is her lover
Name changed to protect her
Has no idea who she really is
Next in line to rule Rome
Embracing her dark side
Face to face with her mother
A fight to the death
Xena showed mercy instead
 
Gabby's Advice To Xena
 
If I were you I'd lay off the starches.

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Reunited
 
Twenty-five years have passed by
He went on with his life
Got a wife and kids
Married the wench Meg
Searched for years with no luck
One day everything changed
The tavern he ran with his wife
In honor of his dear friends
They walked in the door
Untouched by the hands of time
Such a happy event
Was turned upside down
Struck down by Livia's sword
A dear friend was laid to rest
 
On The Road Again
 
1. Get your armor.
 
2. Delouse your sword.
 
3. Don't forget the prunes. After all what is life without prunes.

Red Beating Heart

Red Beating Heart

I sing of Joxer
Not a mighty warrior
Brave as a lion
With a very big heart
A great companion
There through some really tough times
Got the happy ending he wanted
Married with children
Living a happy life
Briefly together with dear old friends
Killed while trying to save one
A sweet and loving man
With a most gentle soul
Brought joy to all who knew him
In loving memory of a dear friend

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Virgil
 
What a great surprise
Joxer and Meg had a son
A fine strappin lad
Also a writer
Writing epic poems
Has his own shop
Good with a sword
Taught by dear old dad
 
Fortune favors the brave. Virgil
 
If you were motal I'd cut out your heart. Xena

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Livia The Bitch Of Rome
 
Followers of Eli don't forget to turn the other cheek. Why Xena is determined to protect you sheep is beyond me. And I should care why? Eli's follwers are vermin. They hide amongst true Romans spreading like a sickness. If a few innocents must die to spread their heresy so be it and if it vexes Xena so much the better. Callisto she did good work but I'm not Callisto.
 
Tragedy Strikes
 
Daughter's all grown up
Missed seeing it happen
Sleeping in a cave
A blood thirsty killer
She now faces
Pained by what she sees
Burdened with guilt
Trying to get through
She tries to talk to her
Declares their love for her
About to kill her dearest friend
Joxer unable to bear it
He charges at her
Ending with a sword in the guts
Another dear friend dies instead 
 
 

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Joxer's Confession
 
I always wanted to be a great warrior. It didn't work out. I tried to join every army from here to Egyp but nobody ever wanted me and uh well that's all.
 
Joxer's Last Words
 
I didn't didn't want to disappoint you. What? What's the matter with you guys? I'm gonna be fine. I'm a little cold but it doesn't hurt anymore.
 
Virgil's Grief
 
Is this what it means to follow Eli? I knew my faith would be tested but never like this. How can I love when my heart is filled with vengeance?
 
Gabby's Words Of Wisdom
 
When you're pushed you just want to push back but you have to ask yourself is that what Eli would want?
 
Xena's Plea To Eli
 
Eli wherever you are I know you can hear me. I'm having a little trouble understanding your message Eli. I'm a warrior I have a warrior's heart. And yet you told me to fight my enemies with compassion instead of a sword. Well now I find I have to kill my own daughter. My own flesh and blood. Is this what you meant when you said I must love my enemy? Show me another way. Where's your infinite love? 

Forgiveness
 
Mixed feelings
Helping her find her way
Wants to help
The Gods come for her
Baptized in the Way of Love
Forgiveness for her past
A new way of life
Comes with a surprise
Xena is given a power
Able to kill Gods
The first to go down is Poseidon
Which came as a great shock to all
Faced with the unknown
Next goes Hephasteaus followed by Discord
Ending with the death of Athena

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Initiation Into The Way Of Love
 
Do you admit your tresspasses? I now cleanse your body in the sweet waters and intiate you in the way of love. You must die to the things of the flesh and be reborn in the way of love.
 
How's it feel to smell your own mortality? You know there's nothing more pathetic than a dead God. Xena
 
The Transformation
 
Deprived of her mother
By a cruel twist of fate
She grew up as Livia
The name Eve was cast aside
To savethe life of this child
Raised by a Roman once an ally
Wanting to marry her
Hooked up with Ares
Tapped into her dark side
Not knowing who she was
Full of bloodlust
Craving ultimate power
Comes face to face with mom
Not able to stand the truth
She keeps shedding blood
Till that moment when all was revealed
Realizing what she'd done
Experiencing great pain and guilt
Reborn into the Way of Love
She's absolved of all her sins
Eve is back and embracing her destiny
She is the Messenger of Peace
 
Xena's Power
 
Eve will prepare the way for the rule of the God of Love. I was chosen as the mother of the messenger. As long as Eve lives I have the power to kill Gods.
 
Eve's Burden
 
What's happened to me is all so confusing. When I was being initiated I felt one load being lifted only to be replaced with another just as frightening. Where should I begin?
 
Virgil On His Dad
 
You know my entire life I never saw my father be cruel to a man, woman, child nor beast. He brought joy to everybody who knew him and you killed him.
 
Xena's Wisdom
 
That kind of reaction coems with the territory.
 
Tip: Don't expect happy reactions when face to face of  family members of those you've killed.
 

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In Her Head
 
The Furies came
Buzzing in her ear
Whispering away
Ever sinking low
Using Joxer's death
To push her over the edge
Next her daughter Hope appears
Must make the kill
Spare Xena the pain
With sai in her hands
She stabs Eve in the back
The chakram hit her
Knocking her down
The two Xena loves most
Weak and dying
Continuing the fight
Against overwhelming odds
Their lives are saved
By an unexpected source
 
Niether of you is gonna leave me. Gabrielle you're the most pure thing in my life. And you're my great hope. So I'm not gonna let either of you go. Xena
 
You shot me. I'm the God of War. Nobody shoots the God of War. Ares
 
I gave up my immortality to save them. I'm sorry but I got a thing for her. Ares
 
A Great Sacrifice
 
Even though his family
Were nearly all dead
He can't bear to have her killed
The woman he loves
Fighting for her life
He heals Eve and Gabrielle
Giving her back the power
No greater sacrifice
Gave up his immortality
All in the name of love

Crazed
 
Unable to stand being mortal
He goes after the Amazons
Revealed in a dream
A way to get his godhood back
Wanting to avenge the Olympians
Also to rule mankind
The Furies work their magic
Driving Ares insane
Taunting him into a fight
What's the matter afraid of a girl?
Killing the woman he loves
Opened his eyes to the truth
Taking out the Furies too
With her trusty chakram and great plan
She is revived and all is well
 
On Being A Mortal
 
I don't do mortal at all well. I'm more of a what's the word a God.  They do have it I knew it. My sister Artemis came to me in a dream from the other side. Oh they don't admit it to anybody but they got it. Now that's where you come in. They trust you. You can go in and get the ambrosia no one has to go to war.
 
Sucks To Be Mortal
 
You have to depend on others
Bleeding like a stuck pig
Asking for help
 
Warriors rule the world not philosophers. Fury In A Gabby Suit
 
I've got to get that ambrosia I will never get used to walking everywhere.
 
I tried you know real hard and you know what I'm all tried out. So I guess what I'm saying is it's over. Does this give you pleasure? You like this. You're like a snake. You're like like one of those three headed dogs. You're mean. When I open you I'll show the mean inside you. I will.
 
Mortality stinks not to mention hurts.
 
I gotta stop doing that or I'll rupture something.

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In the name of Eli and all the powers of heaven I command this evil presence to be cast out.
 
Homecoming
 
Went home to Amphipolis
But all was not well
Tavern haunted by evil
Cyrene burned at the stake
King of Hell wants a fight
Spilling the blood of the messenger
She brings him forth
Kills him in battle
Sets her mother's spirit free
Take his place as Queen?
Cross that bridge when we get to it
Figure some way out of it
 
We make our own destiny in this family. Xena
 
Destiny comes to pass in strange ways. Eve

Darkness
 
A steaming portal
Leading straight to Hell
Corrupting all near it
Becoming the Queen of Hell
Found one to take her place
Fun was had
Partying and dancing
The dark side quite intoxicating
All the seven deadlys met
Sent straight to Hell
 

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Seven Deadly Sins
 
1. Pride- Considered the root of all evil. The selfish sin is to be "vainglorious" and think oneslef better than others. Arrogance blocks the divine as well as other persons from the heart. Its opposing virtue is humility.
 
2. Avarice- Infinite dissastisfaction and the sin's obsession with worldly goods promotes neglect of spiritual welath. The opposing virtue is sufficiency.
 
3. Lust- This "sin of the flesh" is said to lead to "uncleanliness" and way from it's opposing virtue, chastity.
 
4. Envy- Overconcern with the possessions of others is seen escalating to hinder sympathetic relationships. When one is consumed by envy, the opposing virtue, charity is completely erased.
 
5. Gluttony- The endless maw of the glutton is never satiated, and he or she is never satisfied. The glutton lives to eat, a stat that soon escalates to forgetting gratitude. The opposing virtue is sobriety.
 
6. Anger- The consequence of this enflaming in dwelling passion is to feel vengeance in one's heart. This sin escalates to rage, obliteration all but negativity within, and results in murder and war. The opposing virtue is patience.
 
7. Sloth- This sin is considered one of the flesh and when in a state of sloth negligence, and apathy soon set in. The opposing virtue is dilligence.

Eve Preaches
 
Eli says to corrupt another is to corrupt yourself.
 
Eli's love is reward enough in itself. It blesses both the giver and the receiver. That's because we've been raised on the ignorant notion that riches and selfishness can fill the emptiness in our souls.
 
Lucifer
 
A sexy Archangel
With a touch of arrogance
Came to send Xena to Hell
Instead of dying by her hand
Stays on Earth for a while
Making him see the light
By showing him how much he loves the dark
In just one day
He commits all the seven deadlys
Earning a place in Hell
Where he'll rule as King
Put in touch with his inner demon
 
Lesson 1: Lose the dagger.
 
Lesson 2: Wasted potential is the greatest sin of all.
 
Lucifer
 
In Christian tradition a name for Satan. In the Vulgate Lucifer served as a translation of the Hebrew epithet meaning "Day Star," a name associated with the presumptuos King of Babylon in the Book of Issiah. Some early Christian writers found a parallel in the Gospel of St. Luke, where Jesus refers to Satan falling like lightning from heaven. On this basis they idenitified Isiah's "Day Star" with Satan and concluded that there was scriptural authority for designating him "light bearer." In antiquity Lucifer was also the name given Venus as the morning star.
 
Source: Columbia Encyclopedia

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Looking Tasty
 
Virgil comes to town
Looking quite tasty himself
Drawn by the portal
Feeding into his dark side
Wanting to join up with Xena
Pledge his life to her missions
Things really heat up
Ready to burn with Gabby
A little awkward afterwards
Once the portal's been closed
Restoring everyone to themselves again
 
No one likes a party pooper. Gabrielle
 
 

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Enraged
 
Vengeance in her heart
At the gruesome news
Parets are dead
Heads were cut off
Along with her sister's husband
Crying for their killer's blood
They head off to rescue Sarah
A daughter sold into a harem
Planning to kill she practices
Seasickness sinks in
Slept like a baby
Wakes up to find Xena gone
Sold into the harem by Virgil
Makes him take her too
Does a sexy dance
Leaning in for the kill
Stopped to save her life
Xena takes the blame
Makes it out alive
Find's the niece
And a place in Gurkhan's bed
Give's Gabrielle her shot
Couldn't take a life in cold blood
She beats him instead
All the girls are freed
Gurkhan's head rolls
They make their way home.

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Harems
 
Term applied to women's apartments in a Muslim household. In the ancient Arab world women enjoyed a certain amount of freedom. However, with the advent of Islam the veiling and seclusion of women into harems became more common. The most famous harem, that of the Sultans of Turkey, dates from the 15 century and included the old and new palaces on Seraglio Point, Constaintinople. It was abolished with the downfall (1909) of Abd al-Hamid II. The sultan's harem often contained several hundred women all subject to the control of the sultan's mother and guarded by eunuchs. In India the harem is called a purdah or zenana; in Iran andaran. Although the harem is rapidly disappearing in the 20th century, there nevertheless are still some in existence in the more remote areas of the Muslim world.
 
Source: Columbia Encyclopedia
 
The Fate Of Gabby's Parents
 
Eight years ago Sarah was captured by the Raider Gurkhan. He took her to the walled city of  Magador. A merchant told us she was in his harem. Father sold most of the farm and he and mother and my husband Lector went to try and buy her back. He beheaded all three of them. I don't know what happened to Sarah.
 
Xena's Words Of Wisdom
 
There's nothing we can do to change the past. You can only work to make the future better.
 
Xena On The Auction Block
 
And now for our premier selection a  woman with such fire and beauty that a man well he'd have to be crazy not to want to take her home. Grace Blue eyed goddess as magnificent as to the eyes as she undoubtedly will be to the touch. Now let's start the bidding at ten gold nuggets. Come on won't you don't be shy?
 
Sold to Gurkhan the Magnificent for 220 gold nuggets. What a prize he's won for himself.
 
I sing of Superlius
Pirate of the High Seas
I capture beautiful maidens
And sell them at...
 
Punished By Gurkhan: beaten, manacled, thrown in a dark dungeon, left to die
 
Sarah
 
Captured by Gurkhan
Tossed into his harem
Did what she had to
Became a royal bitch
More vicious than her competition
Worked up the ranks
Became number one wife
Ashamed of what she'd done
Sure she can't be forgiven
For all that she did
Sails home to her mother 

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What To Do In A Sandstorm
 
1. Keep moving or you'll get covered with sand.
 
2. Be careful when you see what looks like an ominous figure because it could be friend and not foe.
 
3. Don't go for the kill because that weapon may turn out to be a scroll and an innocent gets killed.
 
Punishment For Murder In The Dessert
 
The person is chained to the person they killed for the whole night and the following morning at dawn they are placed in a hole and covered up. Men on horses with spears come and play polo with the person's head.
 
The Desert
 
Supposed to relax
Left the coast
But found some water
Took a nice bath
Strange beauty to the desert
Edgey with sand up the wazoo
An unexpected surprise
Gabby's scrolls are widely read
Referred to as the Battling Bard
 
Hospitality In The Desert
 
Worshipped
 
Don't refuse anything you'll insult them.
 
Even if it looks like bugs it's sure to be yummy or tell yourself that.
 
When ugly cousins are offered make up an excuse like an Amazon Chastity Oath.
 
To kill a man in a fight to protect your homeland is one thing but to pick out a Roman at random and execute him for a crime he may not have committed is something else. Xena
 
Gabrielle in everyone's life there's something that goes beyond the greater good. That's what you are in my life. I wasn't about to let you die out there if there was something I could do about it.

Nearly Dinner
 
Injured in battle
With eaters of human flesh
After killing an innocent
Taken by the cannibals
Healed her wounds
Seasoned and prepared
Tied to a spit
Geting ready to cook
Just in time she comes
With her clever ways
She drowns them all
The three captives are saved
Virgil along with a funny man
Who goes by the name of Rubio
 
My reflexes are those of a warrior. I'm afraid my judgement's not. I think that's a bad combination. Gabrielle
 
Anyway a trained warrior would never have ridden up behind knowing it could be perceived as an attack. Xena
 
Cannibal Factoids
 
1. They have a really bad sense of fashion. That whole piggy with tusks looks is so beyond over choose a new animal already.
 
2. You could really choke on the bones although the leg or arm bone could be used as a club and you could use the ribs as armor for the every so fashionable cannibal.
 
3. Imagine how many calories a person is so it's not good for the waistline.
 
4. They are all men which kinda says something doesn't it?
 
5. Not too popular with the chicks and if you did go on a date with one you'd most likely end up as the main course.
 
6. All you can eat complete with all the basic needs of the cannabal including seasoning and blood to wash down the nice leg.
 
7. Not big with the talking but they certainly know how to chow down.
 
8. If captured don't eat the food although it's quite tempting because a skinny person is a live one. Also exercise to keep the weight off.
 
9. If you best friend is injured leave her so she will be taken care of by the cannibals. She will be healed before she becomes dinner because they don't enjoy spoiled meat.
 
I'm not gonna let you get yourself killed because of your guilt Gabrielle. You can't keep seeing that boy's face every time you raise a weapon you can't. Xena
 
Gabrielle's Last Wish
 
I want to lie with you, your family in bliss. I love them but I'm a part of you. I want it to be like that forever. I love you.
 
Never apologize for having compassion Gabrielle it's one of the most beautiful things about you. Virgil
 
Coming To Terms
 
I did what I had to do. I will learn to live with my mistakes no matter how terrible they may be that's the Way.

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Part of being a friend is letting people keep secrets I respect that.
 
Gabrielle
 
I've gone to take care of some unfinished business. This mission is so dangerous I'm afraid I won't  survive. I can't ask you to die with me once again. Whatever happens know my love for you is endless.
 
Xena
 
The Valkryies-Odin's Elite Guard
 
They're mortal. Odin teaches his favorite valkryie some runes. They're magical old Norse writings. They contain chants that give great power to the one who knows them.
 
Xena The Valkyrie
 
She came to us from a distant land in the east. She called it Chain. We call it the land that sent us a demon.
 
Odin's Despair
 
I don't wish to take part in the struggle of life anymore. I am Odina King of the Norse Gods. It is my duty to bring peace to the Norse country. Yet as I sit in Vahalla and watched the bitter struggle called life on this earth I ask are we doomed to live in a constant state of endless conflict.
 
Xena On Enless Conflict
 
Damn striaght. That's what makes life so worth living. You know every day I wake up and I feel pumped by the knowledge that there is always someone around the next corner. Someone for me to fight, for me to challenge, to fight, and to conquer. 
 
Xena brought Odin out of his despair by sharing with him her lust for life. He in turn made her a valkryie. Xena excelled in her new role but it was only a matter of time before she came into conflict with the woman who was the leader of the valkryie and Odin's lover Grinhilda.
 
It's a battlefield the only thing there is to do here is fight. Xena
 
Xena On The Fundamentals
 
Greed is one of the fundamentals of life. It's like sex. It's like the will to power it's survical. Well not their's but their's is a greater reward. Dying with a sword in their hand honors their Lord and Master Odin and earns them a place at his eternal banquet.
 
Xena won Odin from Grinhilda. And of course that wasn't enough for Xena.
 
Odin Teaches Xena To Make A Flame
 
One day you'll be able to harness all your energy into a flame that will brun as long as you wish.
 
The Rheingold
 
First thing you should know the Rheingold is very dangerous to someone who hasn't forsaken love. Rhein maidens watch over the Rheingold. The power of the Rheingold is only available to those who have forsaken their lvoe. Everybody knows what the gold does to a loving heart. It brings about your destruction and you lose what you value the most.
 
So Xena headed for the Rhein Rivir in hopes she could get to the Rhein maidens to lead her to the gold. But Grinhilda and the other valkryie weren't far behind. They couldn't stop her. So now only the Rhein maidens stood between Xena and ultimate power. The ring forged from the Rheingold would give Xena ultimate power but one she put it on she became invincible.
 
Righting A Wrong
 
Once a valkryie
Flying through the sky
Discovered a secret
Using her feminine wiles
Got her hands on the Rheingold
Forged a ring from it
Thirty-five years later
The past comes back to haunt her
Monster she created
Has escaped its prision
On a suicide mission she goes 
 

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Grendal
 
A mistake from a very long time ago. I defeated the Rhein maidens to steal their gold. Not for the wealth that it could bring but for the power foretold by Odin's runestones. I melted down the Rheingold harnessing all its power into a single ring. A ring that could give a mortal the power of a God.
 
The Runes
 
Unless you have forsaken love the power of the ring will destroy what you value the most. The runes also say that anyone who puts on the ring has a surge of God-like strength before the destructive power kicks in.
 
Killing her would have been kind compared to what I had in mind for her. As fearsome as she was in her new form she knew that she was no match for me and the ring. She fled. Using chains I stole from Odin and Grinhilda's own necklace as a lock I transformed this mine into her prison then I drove Grinhilda towards her fate. I knew being trapped in that hideous form would be the ultimate toruture for Grinhilda. I wanted her to suffer with her own ugliness forever. I wasn't going in that cage without the ring and Grinhilda wasn't about to give it to me. It was a stalemate. I knew the power of the ring would be useless to her unless she learned to forsake love. Thirty-five years of imprisonment is enough to drive the love out of anyone's heart and once that happened the power of the ring was her's. She broke free now nothing would stop her murderous rampage.

There's more to being a warrior than skin. There's fighting for what you believe and for people that you love. Gabrielle
 
Proving Her Love
 
Sent to spy on them
Instead falls in love
Unable to betray
Snatches Gabrielle away
Defied her God for her
Meeting Gabrielle changed her
Beauty burning like a star
Burning oh so bright
To prove her love
She keeps her safe
Becoems an eternal flame
With the ring in her hand
Bruning until that day comes
When her soulmate passes thorugh
And awakens her
 

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The Ups And Downs Of Amnesia
 
1. It's good because you can't remember anything which can be a plus no guilt gnawing at you.
 
2. Not knowing what a chakram is could be very painful if you hold it wrong and grip it tight.
 
3. You're vulnerable to being taken advantage of and could end up married to some smelly buffoon that's a total liar.
 
4. Even though you can't remember you can still sense something missing even if you can't quite put your finger on it.
 
5. Not knowing who are you can just plain suck.
 
6. All the future good that you could do is lost because you can't remember your way in life.
 
7. The one person in the world that is the most precious to you is lost to you not to mention a long sleep in a ring of flames.
 
8. The name you end up may really suck compared to your real name.
 
Sleeping Beauty
 
Inside a ring of fire
Lies a sleeping beauty
Hair like spun gold
Many have tried to rescue her
But to no avail
Only one person can go through the flames
A Warrior Princess who has lost her self
Flashing images of a blonde
Strikes a chord deep within
With just one kiss from her soulmate
She finally wakes up
The Warrior Princess finds herself
And is reunited with her beloved Gabrielle

Offer A New Life
 
Gave up his immortality
To save the one he loves
Started a new life
Back Xena and Gabby came
To help out Ares
Full of memories for Xena
The old farm
A sexy farmer is he
Using his sword to kill chickens
With his dog Horace by his side
Off when all the chickens are gone
 
Well don't look at me I try to use tools of common labor as little as possible. Ares
 
Helpful Tip
 
Find out what you have to do with the rags before you run and hide them.
 
Stuff rags in the holes to stop the wind from coming through.
 
I thought you were going to get me to mop the floor or some other demeaning job I'd rather die than do. Ares
 
Flirting With The Neighbor
 
Hey uh drop by again when the news is better we'll have a glass of wine and swap tips about raising root vegetables.
 
You mortals go to the most inredible places just to rationalize unexplainable phenomena. Ares
 
To Impress The Neighbor: On War
 
A crime against humanity.
 
Oh I'm lying here smelling my mortality every muscle in my body aching. I have gray hair and the dog has his tongue in my mouth.
 
Ares On Horace
 
Hey I like his company it's not like he takes care of all my problems. 
 
Milking Cows
 
Pull and squeeze method is quick but there's less milk.
 
Double squeeze provides more milk but it takes longer and it's easier on the cow.
 
Xena Learns Something
 
I've learned something since coming back here. You can't look for peace in the world around you. You got to find it in your own heart. I was happier when I was a kid here because I was loved and felt like I belonged. I was lucky then and I'm lucky now. 

Xena' Words Of Wisdom
 
Rushing blindly into the hands of whatever's out there isn't going to help Marga.
 
You got to learn when enough is enough and when the fight is over.
 
Introducing Herself
 
Xena of Amphipolis, Warrior Princess, Warrior Mom who conquers Prince Chesty Forelock of upper whatever stan.

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Caligula
 
A total psycho
Enjoys the killing
Killed all of his family
Loves tall girls
And a good chariot race
Enjoys good surprises too
Sucking away Aphrodite's godhood
A regular party animal
Becomes a full fledged God
With a taste for the exotic
Tricked into killing himself
Not big with the brains
Just wanting to leave his mark

Aphrodite And Caligula
 
You see without the God of War the Goddess of Love becomes unbalanced. It's like he's some kind of succubus sucking her godhood from her bit by bit. Now if you thought he was bad as an emperor imagine him with the powers of a full God and there's nothing I can do about it.
 
Rendered Mortal
 
The Goddess of Love
Becomes entwined with Caligula
Godhood gradually slips away
Without the God of War
She becomes unbalanced
And loses her mind
Vulnerable to a psycho crazed
With just one final kiss
A Goddess no longer
Join's Ares in the nightmare
Mind fully intact again

Xena's Bluff
 
Caligula I am immmortal too. No Sabba the Celtic Goddess of Sex is a God. When I heard that the Olympians had met an untimely end I thought this was a perfect opportunity for me to spread my wings. And of course when I saw you I knew you'd make the perfect ally. You've already expereicned my powers. I have the ability to pierce the veil of immortality to make Gods bleed. It's an uncommon gift. A risk not to especially when you compare me to that washed out Aphrodite. Forget her she's weak. How much better would it be if there were two healthy Gods using one another. Otherwise you'd be known as Caligula God of Messed Up Freaks.
 
I make a very good friend and an even better enemy.
 
Stripped Of The Power
 
Given a gift by Eli
To protect her daughter
Able to kill Gods
Michael with his superiortiy
Went much too far
Tried to kill a friend
So she returned the favor
Wanting to know the answer
What happens when angels die?
Laughter so arrogant and cocky
The power is taken away
But she still has her greatest gifts
Was able to rid the world of Caligula
Bluffed her way to make him end it
Pity for the damaged man  

Without Love
 
The world without Aphrodite
Love is slipping away
The Goddess of Love no more
Golden apples are the key
Xena and Gabby on a mission
To bring love back to the world
Kicked Odin around
Apples in hand
She makes a choice
Although she is tempted
She tosses the apple
Bringing them back
The God of War
Along with the Goddess of Love
Providing a balance

The world without love. A world where the skills of the delicous Goddess no longer lift us to heights of almost intolerable pleasure. Well anything is possible but surely the truth is that both Xena and Ares are plotting to divert this reporter from getting to the truth. So we decided to come to the one place where love is rarely in short supply.
 
Follow the Love, a bizarre command in a world seemingly devoid of love.
 
Aphrodite On Love
 
When I left Olympus the world was full of my love but with me no longer there to replenish it, it's just faded away. Squandered by those who failed to see how precious it was and spurned by others who thought they didn't need it an now it's all gone poof. Your mortals took love for granted. It slipped through your fingers so subtely no one even noticed it was gone.
 
You can't have love without hate. You can't have peace without violence and you certainly can't have forgiveness without anger. Xena

On Trial
 
Goes to the Amazons
With a message of peace
Roman troops guarding her
An unwanted bodyguard
Taken prisoner to pay for her crimes
Why she came there
Banishment before
Death hangs over her head
Through a bit of bloodshed
Opening the eyes of the Queen
Passed her judgement
Livia dies so Eve may live
Trying to make up for her past deeds
 
Varia's Tribe
 
Six years ago before Livia of Rome came to our lands my tribe was strong. My sister adn I were scouting. I had the perfect chance I could have rid the world of Livia but it was my first battle. I had never killed before. If I had killed Livia I would still have my tribe and my sister. I can't undo the past but we can redeem it with justice.

He's Back
 
Given his godhood back
Up to his old tricks
Messes with the Amazons
Stirring up trouble
Wants the biggest war
In all of history
Gain back his worshippers
That were lost when mortal
Can't help being a malevolent genius
Plans were foiled
By a Warrior Princess
Loved the show anyway
 
Ares Sweet Nothings
 
Not all gains are shown on a map. I'm talking about glory the name Livia. What would the world say if you were to conquer the fierce Amazons just for kicks? Or ever better turn them into slaves.
 
Artemis was content to let your sisters dwindle away in separate tribes. I saw it coming I tried to warn her. Well I knew when word of the raid spread it would bring the tribes together. You see hate is a powerful emotion Varia it unites people. I knew Gurkhan would never take Amazons as slaves they're too spirited to fetch a dinar on the auction block. So Livia took them to market and couldn't make a profit I mean what she did. She threw them overboard. I mean she tossed them like spoiled cargo. They still had their shackles on. Well you can never bring them back but you can stop this from ever happening again. Eve and Rome are hand in the slaughter. So you know what you do you lead your sisters against Rome and show them you mean business. 

The Challenge
 
Words didn't work
Gave the guilty verdict
Tried to do what she could
As a last resort
She challenged the Queen
Took Varia on
During the fight she talked
Trying to talk some sense into her
Got a few good knocks in
Beaten and bloody on the ground
Did all she could do
Told Xena to do what she needed
 
The Sentencing
 
This woman has pleaded guilty to her crimes. Even she has admits she can never do enough good to erase the evil she has done and yet she's willing to try. As Queen of the Amazon Nation I hereby sentence Livia killer of the Amazons to death so that Eve the Messenger of Peace may live.

How's the hand? I thought maybe you sprained it on my face. Gabrielle
 
Tips On What To Do When Up Against A Psycho With A Major Grudge
 
 1. Realize that everybody's afraid some people are just better at hiding it.
 
 2. If traveling by boat when you hit the shore disembark in silence since the element of surprise is our greatest weapon.
 
 3. Stay calm when the boat gets blown to bits.
 
 4. Haul ass when catapuls are firing at you.
 
 5. Help where you can.
 
 6. Be determined not to die.
 
 7. Be willing to sacrifice one life to save the lives of the others.
 
 8. Stay low so nothing hits you because arrows will fly and so will the fire which isn't fun.
 
 9. Smack the annoying chick to shut her up.
 
10. Listen to the wise ones because they know lots of things.
 
11. Just because it's quiet doesn't mean the kililng is over since you're gonna be full of arrows and get blown up if you do make a run for it.
 
12. Use chakram to screw with the catapault and give the enemy a taste of their own medicine and see how they like being set on fire. Make a run for it while they are occupied.
 
12. Never leave anyone behind that is injured.
 
13. Never trust a psycho's promise because they are lying and won't keep up their end of the bargain.
 
14. When you are betrayed strip her of her Queenhood and take over.
 
15. Be willing to die to save another.
 
16. Keep still when sharks are around since they are drawn to movement and blood.
 
17. Be able to rally the troops
 
18. Be able to make tough decisions.
 
19. Do what you have to do.
 
20. Be as cold and ruthless as you have to be.
 
21. Play with the psycho and lead him to an ambush.
 
22. Know when the battle is over.
 
23. Forgive the betrayer since she was only trying to save her tribe.
 
24. Make the decision to stop the cycle of killing otherwise you wind up with a sword spilling out your guts.
 
That's the thing about vengeance you're never really satifsifed. Xena
 
War's tough on the soul.
 
 
Cloned
 
Strands of hair found
Along with the chakram
Out of the tomb of the scrolls
Maturation was a success
Wake up the personalities
Download all the info
Brought back to kick ass
Three obsessed fans
Along with Alexis
Who is not as she seems
Awakens and does the pinch
In a brand new world
Experiencing new things
Gabby's carted off to jail
Off Xena goes with her chakram
Breaks her out
Makes her own sword
Those metal things are worthless
When it comes to hand to hand combat
Comes face to face
With an old enemy
A fight to the death
With Xena as the victor
The chance arises
Off they go
In a cab making a toast
As they ride off into the sunset
 
Cloning Tips
 
1. Make sure the person involved isn't an enemy of the one you clone oh say like Alti.
 
2. A computer nerd is a must not to mention a scientist to do the actual cloning.
 
3. Docs with the knowledge are key.
 
4. Fans of the person you want to clone and make sure to order their costumes.

All Grown Up
 
A handsome young man
The son of Ephiny
In love with Lord Beleach's daughter
Bounty placed on his head
The son of Borias
Destroys a noble race
Leaving only the two
Eyes are opened
Acceptance at last
A beautiful grandsom
Given a home
Where they can live peacefully
 
The Past
 
A ghost of an old friend
Comes to Gabby
Who's shopping not buying
A price on her son's head
Face to face with her past
The spitting image of Borias
His oldest son
Torn in two directions
Wanting to make up for the past
Reunites a father and daughter
A growing family
Grandson named Borias
The healing begins
Safe to live out their lives
The last two centaurs
Of a proud and noble race
 
Borias
 
A rising warlord
With wife and child
Meets a Warrior Princes
She catches his eye
Had to make a choice
Goes off leaving his child
Leaving only a necklace behind
Word as a constant reminder
Of his father's abandonment
To the east he goes with Xena.
 
You know different roads lead to the same place. Gabrielle
 
I can be wise at times really I can. Gabrielle

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Always Scum
 
With the death of Hades
Caesar was able to make his move
Took the Fates and chained them up
Rewriting his destiny
He messes with the loom
With Atropos scissors he snips
Back to being Emperor of Rome
With Xena as his Empress
Yet again he betrays Xena
It's in his nature
A surprise while in bed
Alti pulls out a dagger
Stabbing him over and over again
Sending him back to Tartarus
 
Destiny
 
It's ironice isn't it how a single step can change the entire path of one's destiny. Had I not betrayed Xena I'd be ruling Rome today instead I get stabbed in the back by my good friend Brutus while Xena gets to ride off into the sunset with her girlfriend. Hardly a fitting end to Julius Caesar.
 
You can not change your fate. Once it has been chosen. Unchain us now and accept your destiny. The Fates
 
Let me tell you about my destiny with Hades out of the pictures underworld's secruity's become rather lax which brings me to this defining Xena moment mysterious, romantic, good lighting.
 
Tampering with the loom will alter the very fabric of life. Changing not only your destiny but that of countless others. The Fates

It's what we all dream about isn't it? That someone would look so deeply into our soul they'd find something worth dying for. Gabrielle
 
Instant Connection
 
Even in a new world
That bond was there
Eyes meet across the room
Something deep within
It comes pouring back
An empty life led
A loveless marriage
Put to death
On she cross she lay
Stopping just in time
Made her take off
To write those plays inside her
A betrayal by her husband
Arrangements to save her friend
Xena is dragged off
To face her own death
Grief stricken she rides off
Enters the temple
Sees the loom a total mess
As she throws the torch
Xena proclaims her love
All is destroyed
The world comes back
Likes this one better
Even though she's not a famous playwright
Fame who needs it
When she's with the one she loves
No longer living an empty life
 
When I thought I was going to die it all became so clear. My life is empty despite my success. I write about love but I've never felt it before. I will never forget you. Gabrielle

The Surprise
 
Another birthday soon arrives
The start of the annual pranks
It's a traidition
Promies to stop
With fingers crossed behind her back
So it begins again
Not sure what to trust
Eel in the bedroll
A bucket of fish guts as revenge
To make them evil
Paranoia sets in
With one final prank
A dribble cup
The real gift appears
A poem written by Sappho
One of her favorite poets
Along with the flying hat
They sail through the sky
 
Practical Jokes
 
1. Each year it is traditional to play jokes on Gabby when her birthday is coming up. When promising not to play any jokes all you have to do is cross your fingers to null your promise.
 
2. Put ink on the rip of a telescope so a ring is left around the eye. Pretend to see something and use the telescope putting the wrong end to your eye.
 
3. Place an eel in the bedroll for slimy delights.
 
4. Paytime time means a bucket of fish guts gets poured on you and the smell lingers even after taking a bath.
 
5. Doing nothing will make Gabby so paranoid about future tricks because she won't know when to expect anything.
 
6. Switching bags can backfire on you especially if the helmet of Hades is in the bag and you let the bad guys get away with it.
 
7. Just when it seems the jokes are over pull out the old dribble cup before giving your final gift.
 
Sappho Poem For Gabrielle From Xena
 
There's a moment when I look at you
And no speech is left inme
My tongue breaks then fire races
Under my skin and I tremble
And grow pale for I am dying of such love
Or so it seems to me
 

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Cult About To Sacrifice Virgin
 
O Lord we beseech thee
Protect us from Vargrias
Lest you find us ungrateful Lord
We offer you a soul of unmatched purity
We ask that you grant us sanctuary from the Warlord
All mighty master save us from disaster!
Send you to the all mighty!
 
I'm gonna hold my breath and sacrifice myself. Genia
 
Genia Prays
 
Perfect be God in all God's places
Perfect be God in all God's graces
 
The Goddess of Love is an evil myth told to rob women of their virtue and strip men of their pride.
 
If you were really a God you'd use your powers to reward the faithful and punish sinners not do party tricks.
 
Freedom has nothing to do with sacrificing Genia or anyone else neither does religion. Xena
 
Just Trying To Help
 
Dite hangs out for a bit
Spilling the beans about Sappho
Around to show Genia
The Ways of Love
Gains her as a disciple
A mistake is made
Only trying to help
Captured by the zealots
Thought were a myth
All ends well
Off she goes doing her thing 

Scroll, Spinning

Scroll, Spinning

The ole scroll within a scroll routine.
 
Dr Frederick Delaney of Chakram Laboratory
 
Centre For Historical Accuracy Key Research In Ancient Mythology
 
Good afternoon collegues and members of the press. It's with great excitement that I address you this afternoon. A most revolutionary discovery has recently been made. I hold in my hand a newly uncovered scroll of the life of Xena Warrior Princes. This scroll reveals a new piece to Xena's life. Xena was married to Ares God of War. The scroll includes a contract between Xena and Ares with an accompanying story which supports our theory that it is indeed a marriage license between the two. Now the time frame of the story places it after Gabrielle and her evil daughter Hope seeemingly perish after falling into a lava pit. As we saw in the scroll entitled Adventures In The Sin Trade 2 upon looking for Gabrielle in the Amazon land of the dead Xena received a vision from her enemy Alti which convinced Xena that Gabrielle was still alive. This new scroll accounts for the missing time between Xena receiving the vision and her finally finding Gabrielle. Our story begins as Xena rides away from the Amazon land of the dead with new hope that Gabrielle is still alive. Joxer still in the throes of mourning over the loss of Gabrielle taken to drink.
 
Annie Day Of The Joxer The Mighty Quarterly
 
Well as one of the world's top experts in Joxer the Migthy studies I think that I can throw some light on this new scroll thing. See once again it appears that somoene wants to (check close caption) I have a point of clarifiction. Well I'm afraid that your version of the events is in fact spurious. From my research I have ascertained the heroic search for Gabrielle and it was indeed he it was he who pulled Xena out of the drunken stupor. 
 
Dr Frederick Delaney
 
No that's inaccurate Miss Day for my resarch on all the Xena scrolls I can assure you that Joxer never once flexed a heroic muscle.
 
Annie On Joxer
 
Hey Joxer was no fool the guy they got to play him was a goofball that's all he was the proudcer's brother for crying out loud.
 
Joxer's Scroll
 
As the innocent Gabrielle plummeted to her fiery doom Joxer the ultimate warrior watched in horror. His muscles bulging one after the other and the light played on his steely sun kissed buttocks.
 
Dr Frederick Delaney
 
We at Chakram Laboratory were immediately concerned about the authenticity. We weren't interested in promoting a hoax like the Hitler diaries or the fan fiction which pretends to be based on legitimate scrolls. We consulted with the world's foremost experts. Xena made off with the contract. She hid it inside another scroll the one I've been reading from. The one that was authored by Joxer and hid it at the bottom of the Ionian Sea to prevent Ares from claiming her as his bride in an afterlife. As we know Gabrielle and Xena were reunited in Potedia. And I am happy to say that Ares never did located the scroll we got to it first.
 
Claim His Bride
 
Riding on his hog
Killing plants as he goes
Came for the contract
To get his bride
Waiting for an eternity
Renewing his signature
Switchs the souls back
Into the proper bodies
She kicks himaround
Destroys the contract
The only one that could
Goes off empty handed
Xena and Gabby together
Can't be torn apart
Even by the God of War

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Well over the years we've caused each other a lot of grief and I think that's because I couldn't express my true feelings. Will you marry me? Come on don't leave me hanging. Be my wife. So you're saying you need more time right? So no you don't need more time. That was just foreplay.
 
You know the harder you fight the more enflamed my passion becomes. What do I have to do to show you that I'm serious? I'll tell you what just to show I'm serious I'm gonna go on a limb here I'll marry you in front of the Fates.
 
A marriage in front of the Fates makes the bond eternal and unbreakable. To betray your spouse is to betray yourself. Ares couldn't harm me or anyone else I care about without harming himself.
 
Xena's Request To Be Married By The Lava Pit
 
No I think it's fitting. I should be as close as possible to the one person in the world I'm meant to spend the rest of my life with as I give myself over to the one person in the world I'd never choose.
 
Joxer Keeps Up Tradition
 
Look I know this is a marriage made in Hades but I figured we don't have to abandon every tradition.
 
Something old: A lock of Gabrielle's hair
 
Something new: A daisy first bloom of the season
 
Something borrowed: Joxer's lucky rabbit's foot
 
Something blue: Joxer
 
The Ceremony
 
We've been called here today to witness the union of the God Ares and this mortal woman Xena. The union which Ares and Xena are about to enter into shall be eternal and unbreakable by Gods or mortals. Any breach of their vows will result in anguish for both. In the name of Zeus do you Ares God of War take this mortal woman Xena for your eternal partner? (Yes, yes I do.) And in the name of our mother Goddess Hera do you Xena of Amphipolis take Ares God of War for your eternal partner? (I do not. That's a promise I can't keep.)
 
Feeling Blue
 
Lost in despair
Drowing in sorrows
Tried writing a scroll
Supporting his friend
Wanting to believe
That Gabrielle was alive
A wedding with Ares
That he tried to stop
Even giving him some girls
And calling him Jelly Butt
Kept with tradition
He was the something blue

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The Way Of The Sword
 
The way of the sword is the most ancient of the warrior's arts. With practice the Samurai develops the sacred virtues of bravery, self discipline, and honor. A Samurai would rather die a warrior then live as a coward.
 
Akemi
 
She was forced by Yadoshi the Lord of the Darkland to seduce souls into his grasp. She's very beautiful and she's a ghost.

A Costly Mistake
 
Taught the pinch
A terrible mistake
Was used to kill
A killing father
Slaughtered his family
Now he's ruling the dead
Forcing his daughter to do his will
Luring souls to his grasp
Must make things right
Only one way to do the deed
In death only can he be destroyed
All the souls are released
Redeemed at least
But she must remain dead
 
Many years ago Borias told me about a young girl who was kidnapped by a Chinese warlord. She'd been taken hostage from a mighty island even further east than Chin. Being the kind of person I was then the challenge of finding a new land to plunder was just too much for me. I just had to meet her.
 
You won't kill me Xena won't let you because in her heart she knows that she will soon love me. I'll be your student Xena you. You'll teach  me everything you know. Akemi
 
You know Borias I have a dream. A dream of conquering every land between here and Brittania. Xena
 
Akemi's Lesson
 
If someone's coming at you with a right left combination this is what I want you to do you feint back twist in the direction of the blow and then deliver a vicious jumping spinning back kick. Lesson one trust no one.
 
 

Pine tree

Sun

Listen to that. To life and death. Every sound, movement is a message. Xena
 
Cami: The powers behind all nature. They make the sun shine, the grass grow.
 
Every sound is a possible warning of an enemy approaching.

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Akemi's Verse
 
Yesterday the moon took
ledging in my sleeve
Today I've hope even
for the broken hearted stars
 
In a flurry of snow
Two breathes of wind
Unite and become as one
And then disappear into each other
 
Snow melts flowers fade
But time and love they go on
 
Akemi
 
A girl held captive
Rescued by Xena
Looking for the ransom
So a journey begins
With this raven haired beauty
Eyes like almonds
Hears what others can't
Wanting Xena as her teacher
She ends up teaching as well
Opening up a closed heart
Writing beautiful verse
Expressings her feelings
A gift is given
That turned into a curse
Used the pinch to kill her father
To avenge her family
Dooming all the souls in the land

Heart

Bonfire

The truth is she broke my heart. For a while I didn't understand myself then I traveled with Akemi to the island for the ransom I was to learn that my heart was seeking something else.
 
Oh now I'm just a girl in search of a really good sword. Xena
 
Akemi On Xena
 
You're a master of war yet you know no words to speak of love and then you go and save my life. There's no greater gift of love a teacher could give a student than that.
 
Taught The Pinch
 
Yes unfortunately she did. After a many days walk we reached her father's fortress.
 
Using The Pinch
 
You have thirty seconds to live. My brothers, my sisters, my mother, my gentle grandparents I avenge all of your deaths at the hands of this monster. Father I pray you suffer in death the way your family suffered in life. It was my duty he had to die. Forgive me Xena I have one last thing of you restore my honor with the sacred gatanna. After that is done take my ashes and place them in the family shrine of the town of Yaguchi.
 
Fulfilling Her Dying Wish
 
I was fulfilling Akemi's dying wish to place her ashes in the family shrine here in Yaguchi word got out that I was honoring the ashes of a girl who had killed her father. The townsfolk felt that I would be defiling their graveyard. They banded together to stop me. I tried to ignore them but they came after me.
 
Bad hair-Bad makeup-Drinking (probably in part due to the first two), best to lose the wooden shoes
 
The Fate Of Yaguchi
 
The wind took the fire from house to house forty thousand of my townsfolk persished in the falmes. That is only the beginning.
 
Akemi told me that after she killed her father Yadoshi's spirit was so full of evil even the underworld would not allow him to enter. He became Lord Yadoshi the eater or souls. Forty thousand lost spirits were at his mercy. Now he holds them inside him enslaved.  

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Akemi I know what I must to but I'm afraid that this day what's done may not be undone. Xena
 
Teaching Her The Pinch
 
Gabrielle come here. Come her give me your hands. Here feel the surge of  blood under the skin just behind...No, no today more than ever I want you to know what I know. Gabrielle if I only had thirty seconds to live this is how I'd want to live them looking into your eyes. Always remember that I love you. There's nothing to understand. I just wanted you to know everything.
 
Coming Full Circle
 
Burying her armor and sword
Just like once before
Going off to battle
Alone she must face
Keeping the one shel oves
Away from the danger
Going to her death
What she must do to make it right
Putting up a hell of a fight
All on her own
Does what she must do
Hit with arrows she rages on
Slicing left and right
Thoughts of Gabrielle
Crying out her name
Meeting her end with decapatation

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How Akemi Expresses Herself
 
I write verse to express how I feel but there's no poetry of sufficient beauty. Our bodies they're an illusion projected by Yadoshi. While we're under his power we must obey his will.
 
Helpful Tip: Finding a bloody chakram is not a good sign.
 
Restoring Xena
 
There is a way Gabrielle. You must take her body burn it then sprinkle the ashes into the fountain of strength on Mt Fugi. You must find the fountain before the second sunset after death.
 
Horrified
 
Determined to bring her back
She goes to get the body
The sight sickened her
Her dear friend's headless body
Tied up and on display
Needing her head she fights
Refusing to restore his honor
Leaves him behind
Goes off with the body
Doing what she must
Unable to finish the task
Which would condemn the souls
So they must be avenged
Must remain dead
 
The Temptation
 
Don't you know how much I want to let you do this? But if there's a reason for our travels together it's because I had to learn from you enough to know the final the good the right thing to do. I can't come back. I can't.
 
Gabrielle On Xena
 
A life of journeying has brought you to the farthest lands to the very edges of the earth.
 
And to the place I'll always remain your heart. Xena

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Samurai
 
Knights of fuedal Japan, retainers of the daimyo. This aristocratic warrior class arose during the 12th century wars between the Taira and Minamonto clans and was consolidated in the Tokugawa period. Samurai were priviledged to wear two swords, and at one time had the right to cut down any commoner who offended them. They cultivated the marital virtues, indifference to pain or death, and unfailing loyalty to their overlords. Samurai were the dominant group in Japan, and the masterless samurai the ronin were a serious social  problem. Under the Tokugawa shogunaten (1603-1867), the samurai were removed from direct control of the villages, moved into the domain castle towns, and given government stipends. They were encouraged to take up bureaucratic posts. As a result, they lost a measure of their earlier martial skill. Dissatisfied samurai from the Choshu and Satsuma domains of W Japan were largely responsible for overthrowing the shogun in 1867. When feudalism was abolished after the Meiji restoration, some former samurai also took part in the Satsuma revolt under Takamori Saigo in 1877. As statesmen, soldiers, and businessmen, former samurai took the lead in building modern Japan.
 
Source: Columbia Encyclopedia