2001-2002
Entry One
Dear Diary
Well I'm writing on paper now. I just traded in one cave for another. No more writing on walls for me. It is hard to get used to being back since it seems like I'm in a dream. I'll find myself back in Pylea. It is so great of Angel to let me live at his hotel. So many rooms and one is now my home. It is so great to be where I'm not a slave with a collar around my neck and a sack for a dress. It's also nice to have people to talk to. I've been getting out and had the best time with Angel at the movies. This time went a lot better since there were no guys threatening to kill us. I will never get sick of tacos in fact I want to pinch myself when I eat them since there's a chance they could turn into bark. I don't know if I'll ever get used to being back since it could all go away. I may wake up back in that cave and discover that all this has been a dream.
Entry Two
Dear Diary
So Angel has a Gypsy curse and the girl he loves and thought was dead turns out not to be dead. It's really sad when you think about it. He loves this girl and he can never have her. It's just so tragic. Love isn't all that it's cracked up to be since it leads to pain and loneliness. I'm glad that the whole bodies being turned into mush bones was stopped and Angel was put back where he belongs. So it wasn't really him that hurt me like that. I've run out of room on the walls which is probably a good idea since I shouldn't be writing on walls. I know that but I did it for so long when I was in that cave that it's sort of comforting.
Entry Three
Dear Diary
It was good to see my parents although I flipped out there for a while. It's just been hard adjusting to life after being trapped in that hellish place. Well my walls are empty now of words and have fresh paint on them. I'm turning it into a place to live instead of a place to hide which is what the cave was so I'm going to make it homey. I've figured out that I belong here and the others want me here even though I'm a goon bird. My invention worked and I got there just in time to use it since the others weren't sure what it was. They thought it might be a toaster which isn't such a bad idea really. Weapons that allow you to make snacks in case you get hungry before the baddies come along. I'll probably have nightmares for a good long while. I ran out because I was hoping that those five long years were a dream but they weren't. The good thing is that I'm back in LA and I'm no longer a slave and a runaway. I just need to take little steps. I'm doing pretty well since I've been able to go out without anybody else so that's good. This is so exciting to be a part of something so important.
Entry Four
Dear Diary
Since Wesley didn't return my calls I went to see him since he needs to come back to work. He totally blames himself which just shows what a good man he is. It just saddened me to hear him cry like that. I'm certain he'll be back tomorrow. We all needed a break after that Billy thing. He won't be bothering anyone anymore. I'm just glad that Wesley wasn't hurt too badly. Charles is fine too though his head was hurting for a while there and he needed some aspirin but he's good as new. He is something how he was trying to get me to hit him so he wouldn't hurt me. Well I'm gonna eat tacos every day for the rest of my life and never get sick of them. It sure beats bark. I'm finally settling down since I'm not all jumpy and sitting under tables like I was. I'm finally accepting that this is real and I'm home with a place and a purpose.
Entry Five
Dear Diary
Now that's something I never thought I'd see a pregnant vampire. That Darla is pretty darn scary so no worries about me getting anywhere near her. I looked at that chart that Charles told me about. Pretty wild stuff with her being staked and being brought back as human only to be dying and being turned back by the granddaughter. That is a lot to wrap your head around. So it looks like Angel may get a chance at what he's been deprived of for centuries unless it's something evil but the child is alive and has a soul which is a good sign I hope. Well it's certainly never boring around here. It must be amazing to have lived so long and seen all the changes that have taken place over the years and decades and centuries. So many changes he has experienced over his very long life. It also has a downside since you see people you care about grow old and die unless of course you turn all those you love into vampires. I would imagine that that would hurt what with the sharp teeth and all.
Entry Six
Dear Diary
Now that was tragic and beautiful all at the same time. I can't even say words at what happened seeing Darla stake herself to save her child. And of course that Holtz guy from two centuries ago being there with a crossbow was no laughing matter. I wonder why he let Angel go. I mean he did try to kill us all when we were at Caritas. It was a boy and a human one at that. He's perfectly healthy and normal. Such a sweet little guy. His name is Connor. He's like the belle of the ball since we all want to get snuggley time. I found a great bakery to make Cordy a birthday cake. I just love surprises and cake of course which I haven't had in ages. I can't even remember the last time I had some. We should have a little fun among the carnage.
Entry Seven
Dear Diary
We got some awful news and on Cordy's birthday too. She'd been hiding just how badly the visions have been affecting her. Such a true champion to suffer in silence and keep on going even though it was killing her. She is truly brave and strong to have lasted this long. Now she has a little demon in her so now the visions are a piece of cake. That cake was so delicious that I'm going for another slice even though it'll be my fourth. Well I can't let it go to waste and Angel won't eat it since he doesn't really eat. So everything is right as rain whatever that means. There are some really strange sayings out there.
Entry Eight
Dear Diary
That was too close. My head is still attached to my body. We really should be careful about what clients we take on. We did earn that money though. So the site is up and the clients are coming our way. Wesley and Charles showed up just in time. Those weird things were like garbage cans. I really enjoy spending time with Charles. He's so sweet and so very brave. I feel so comfortable around him. Maybe I'll ask Cordy for some advice since she's smart about stuff like that. I think he might be interested but I'm not sure and I don't want to make a big fool out of myself. Five years in a cave didn't exactly help with how to act when you like a guy. For all I know he thinks I'm a total dork and is just being nice.
Entry Nine
Dear Diary
What an evening this has been. We go to the ballet and of course it wasn't a normal one what with the girl being trapped and forced to dance for over a century the same thing over and over again. The spell has been broken but there was good in it. Me and Charles kissed. He like me he really likes me and doesn't think I'm a dork after all. That was a surprise to have Groo show up like that since I've always thought that Cordy and Angel belonged together. I guess you never know with matters of the heart. I'm just so excited about Charles since he's so wonderful. Breakfast tomorrow is going to be different what with the kissing. I just can't wait to see if we kiss again. What am I going to wear? I'm just being silly since he likes me not what I'm wearing after all.
Entry Ten
Dear Diary
I'll bet I won't be looking at a tree without wondering if it's gonna suck me into the ground. Angel was great how he allowed himself to be impaled to save Groo and me and Charles. I think Angel's feeling a bit out of sorts what with Groo coming and all and wearing his clothes. That had to be one of the strangest demons ever and how did it get that computer anyway? It was a good one too. It is so wonderful to see Angel with his son. At least he has one of the things he never thought he'd have. I guess it's too much to want it all. You just have to be grateful for what you got and I have more than I ever thought possible. I never thought I'd escape that cave and that nightmarish place. That was so sweet of Angel to let Cordy go on a vacation with Groo. It's funny how things have so changed over this past year. I'm actually home and I won't wake up and find it all gone. I haven't had a nightmare in a really long time and Charles is a big part of that.
Entry Eleven
Dear Diary
It was so great to hear Charles call me his girl. I'm his girl and that makes me happy beyond words. He'd even choose me over working with Wesley but I don't want that to happen. All of us are a team although we could continue on our own if we had to. It just wouldn't be the same. I'm just glad that I wasn't alone during that earthquake which can't be good since they tend to be followed by something bad and there's the prophecy that Wesley's been working on. It's gonna be a bumpy road but I have Charles to help me through the rough patches.
Entry Twelve
Dear Diary
Well Angel didn't kill Wesley though I can understand why he'd want to. This was the only child Angel will ever have and now he's gone. I'm just angry by the whole thing. Wesley should have told someone about thsi. Something could have been done to stop this. I wish Cordy would come back but I know Angel doesn't want to bother her but he needs her right now. Angel just sitting in that room all alone and it's just so sad and none of us know how to help since we can't get the baby back for him. I shudder to think what that Quor-toth place is like and how it'll be like for an innocent baby. I'll probably take him some of his stuff. Wesley should know about the bogus prophecy. I understand why he did it but this is his fault for not trusting his friends.
Entry Thirteen
Dear Diary
That was such a sweet couple. They've been married for three centuries and are still totally in love. It's such a beautiful thing. It is nice to see that especially with the way things have been around here. I warned Wesley to stay away since I'm sure Angel would probably kill him. I'm glad that Cordy is back since she has that special connection with Angel. It's been pretty slow around here which is good since this is a time to take it easy and deal with what's happened. I do feel a little guilty because I'm so happy with Charles. The thing about happiness is that it can get pulled out from under you like a rug.
Entry Fourteen
Dear Diary
Whew that mess is finally over. Charles broke up with me to protect me. I just knew that had to be it even though the others weren't so sure. It's just so odd that he sold his soul for a truck and it didn't even have air. He figured he had no use for it but now he knows better which is great since his soul is priceless. In a way this was a good thing because it got Angel back to doing what he does best which is helping people. As painful as it must be he needs to go on with his life and for a really long while it's gonna be tough but it's supposed to get better witht ime. I wonder who first said that since it is so dumb since that's the last thing you want to hear at the time. So Charles and I are just fine and the making up part was really fun. We watched the sunrise well sort of because most of the time we were smooching.
Entry Fifteen
Dear Diary
I'm gonna talk to Cordy about Wesley. Maybe she can talk to Angel about it. Ok maybe Angel won't forgive him but Wesley shouldn't be alone right now. He was only doing what he thought was right. Yes it was totally wrong and all but he only did it because he cared. I don't know. Something has to be done but I don't know what. It's just that he was the brain of the operation and with him gone that would make me the brains and I'm not sure if I can deal with that. Things are just so confusing right now and I feel a bit torn in two different directions. I'm not even sure if I should stick my nose in this but I do care and I just can't sit back and do nothing.
Entry Sixteen
Dear Diary
Well I didn't turn into a great big pile of sand like Phil Spivey from Inglewood did. So that is a harsh lesson on avoiding black magick. It's a big no no since it comes with a price that does bite you on the ass. Maybe Cordy and Charles are right about the Wes thing. He made the decision and it backfired big time. Maybe in time but it's not my choice since it wasn't my child that was stolen so I can't really know how that felt. That was pretty scary to have that thing take up residence inside my body. Wow Cordy went all glowy and killed all those nasty critters. Now that wasn't a family reunion a person would want. That was totally unexpected to have Connor show up all grown up like that when he was just a baby such a short time ago. I'm sure that Angel will find him and they'll have a chance to talking without the fighting. It must be strange for him after living in Hell all that time since it was longer for him obviously. But it's great that he's back. I just love Charles for going to Wes to help save me. It sounds like things din't go too well. Maybe in time who knows since I don't but my fingers are crossed.
Entry Seventeen
Dear Diary
Well that ended well. Things were up in the air when Connor ran off but he came back and I mean Steven. It's gonna take a bit getting used to that name. I didn't realize he'd have such good hearing. I guess with two vampires as parents you have excellent hearing. I'm glad that Holtz left since he was scary. It's a shame that Lorne is leaving but I can't really blame him since Connor I mean Steven isn't fond of the demons even the good ones. I'm going to miss him andhis singing. I think I can help with Steven since I have an idea of what he went through. Things must be so strange for him since he doesn't remember living here with us. I'm planning a picnic for Charles. We deserve a little alone time and since there aren't any cases this would be a good time to hit the beach. A blanket spread out on the sand under the shade of one of those giant umbrella's with the ocean and the crashing waves. I'll get all our favorites and it'll be great. A little play time among the other benefits of being alone. I think I'm actually blushing at the thoughts that are popping up in my head. So I need to splash some water and I'm off to get our food.
