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Healing
Off to England she went
To cover from such horrors
Swept away by Giles
Helping her get better
A regular Dumbledore
Giving love and suport
Helping her find her way back
Slaying Lesson
It's about power. Who's got it and who knows how to use it? So who's got the power Dawn?
Well I've got the stake.
The stake is not the power?
Who's got the power?
He does. Never forget that, doesn't matter how well prepped you are or how well armed you are you're a little girl (Woman.) little woman.
Vampire ok demon pretrenaturally strong, skilled with powers no human could possible ever...
Power he's got it and he's going to use it. You don't have it so.. Use that perfect.
It's real. It's the only lesson Dawn. It's always real.
Sunnydale Opens It's Doors Once Again
It is my great pleasure and privledge to announce the official opening on the very ground that it first stopp upon of the brand new state of the art Sunnydale High.
Nobody comes in here. It's just the three of us. Don't you think I'm trying? I'm not fast. I'm not a quick study. I dropped my ball charcoal brand. You shouldn't have come. Ha Ha. You should have seen that coming. I tried... I tried to cut it out. Too late for me. This is my home. I belong here always been here. Everything. I had a speech. I learned it all. Oh god she won't understand. She won't understand.
Haunted
Tormented and alone
Voices stirring in his head
Tried to cut it out
Stop the pain
Babbling incoherenly
Hanging out in the basement
Alone in the dark
Visions that make no sense
Pulled himself together
Cleaned himself up
Lent a helpinghand
Seemed to be fine
But he started to unwind
Came apart at the seams
Making not a bit of sense
Revealing what was done
Dawn's Rules For Buffy While At School
1. No talking to me.
2. No looking at me.
3. No hanging out with my friends.
Willow's Fears About Going Home
Well for starter's how about the Hellmouth's getting all rumbley again? And now I know it's got teeth and are those literal teeth? Cause I don't know if I can handle it and what if I can handle it? Does that mean I have to be a bigger, badder, badass than the source of all badness? And what if I give up all this control stuff and I go all veiny and homicidal again? I mean what if...
Giles' Words Of Wisdom
You don't know if you'll be wanted but you will be needed. Trust yourself and the other might follow.
The Counselor
1. Some students are sent but hopefully others will start to come in.
2. When students come in don't evaluate them just listen.
3. They need to feel that there's someone around here who actually understands them.
4. You can give detention since a little authority can be a good thing.
5. Just remember that while you are here to help you're not here to be their friend. Trust me you open that door and these students will eat you alive.
6. Relax.
Bad Principal Humor
There's only three things these kids understand the boot, the bat, and the bastinado.
Buffy Impresses By Knowing The Word
Bastinado- wooden rod to slap the soles of feet in Turkish prisons but made with the right wood it makes an awesome billy club.
No, no, no no, no, no! Now is not the time. You know it. I know it. Making them understand is a totally different matter. No manners is the problem. Breeding, lack of etiquette, all that they're lacking. All of it lost. It's not the time. They're hardly ready. Stop! Make it now. Make it stop. Ahhh!
Working out some personal issues are we? Hey I guess this would be first contact since you know when. Oh up for another round in the balcony then? Right you are luv I haven't changed not a lick and watching your face trying to figure me out was absolutely delicious. Hey is that it? A little touchy feelie, and you're off with the back bulge.
Leave the real battles to the demons. That's right the Big Bad's back and looking for a little death.
Right. Wrong. Wrong maneuver. Not hardly helpful. God please help me. Help me! Too much! Too much! Too much! Too much? Pain inside me won't go away! Deep, deep, deep inside me. Get away! Oh, oh lucky girl call it quits. Now there's an option. If it was only so easy. If only...If only...If only... What the hell are you screaming about? I can hear you. No need to shooutt! Ha Ha Ha Ha! I get it. The soups on me. Lots of laughs. Hey bring the wife and kiddies. Come see the show. It's gonna be a circus. This just the beginning luv. Not warm my back. The real headlines coming and when that band hits the stage all this, all this will come tumbling in death and screaming horror and bloodshed. From beneath you it devours. From beneath poor Buffy.
 It didn't work. It didn't work. The costume didn't help. Couldn't hide. No more mind games. No more mind. Hey, hey, hey! No touching! Am I flesh? Am I flesh to you? Feed on flesh, my flesh. Nothing else not a spark. Oh fine flesh then solid thorugh. Get it hard. Service the girl. Right girl doesn't want to be serviced because there's no spark. Ain't we in a sodding engine? Well yes where have you been all night? First time for everything. I tried to find it all. A spark, a missing, the piece, that bit, that made me fit because you didn't want... I can't not with you looking. I dreamed of killing you. I think they were dreams. I'm so weak and you made me weak, thinking of you holding myself and spilling useless buckets of salt over your ending. Angel, he should have warned me. Makes a good show of forgetting but it's here in me all the time. The spark. I wanted to give you what you deserved and I got it. They put the spark in me and now all it does is burn. A bit worse for lack of use. It's what you wanted right? It's what you wanted right? And now everybody's in here, talking everything I did everyone and him and it together. The thing beneath, beneath you it's here too. Everybody they all just tell me go, go to Hell. Buffy shame on you. What does a man do mustn't for her to be the kind of man who would never...to be the kind of man. And she shall look on him with forgiveness and everybody will forgive and love. He will be loved so everything's ok right? Can we rest now? Buffy can we rest?
The sheets above me
Cool my skin
Like dirt on a mad woman's grave
I rise into the moonlight white
And watch the mirror stare
The pale fish looks back at me
Pale fish will never swim
My skin is milk for no man to drink
My thighs unused, unclenched
This body is not ready yet
But dirt waits for no woman
And coins will buy no time
I hear the chatter of the bugs
It's they alone who feast
Cassie
Poem #5
I sit alone at my windowsill
Trees crackle
Sunshine blares and children laugh like death
Their sharp happiness is a knife to me
One jealous snake on a windowsill
They'll be here trees and sun
And children with canes and pruney skin
When I am but a memory I'll laugh
At the trees of time
I sit alone and try to love them
I sit alone a snake
I sit alone and try to love them
I sit alone and laugh
Cassie
Dawn's Advice
My advice to you is to do exactly what everyone else does all the time. Do what everyone else does. Wear what everyone else wears. Say what everyone else says. People may say something to you that you don't understand. Just don't be afriad to keep your mouth shut and pretend like you know what they're saying. People may say something like my protein window is closed in an hour. Just nod and smile.
Back In The Day
In 880 she was Aud
Before he became a troll
Olaf was her love
Obsessed with bunnies
As strange as ever
With a wandering eye
Among other things
Vengeance rang
She turned him into a troll
Her first act
In a long line
Renamed by her boss
Anyanka was born
Halfreck
The justice demon
Posed as a counselor
Granted a wish
Anya's old pal
From the good old bloody days
A friend she was indeed
Involved in the wedding plans
Told it straight
Sadly she died
Destroyed by Dhoffryn's
To turn Anya back into a human
No more soft serve
Aud On Bunnies
The rabit reproductive rate of our rabbits have given me an idea. I can give the excess out to the townspeople, exchanging them not for goods or services, but for good will and the sense of acomplishment that stems from selflessly giving of yourself to others.
I don't trust what I see anymore. I don't know how to explain it exactly. Like I've been seeing things. Dru used to see things ya know. She'd always be staring up at the sky watching cherubs burn and the heavens bleed or some nonsense. I used to stare at her and think she'd gone completely sack of hammers. But she'd see the sky when we were inside it'd make her so happy. She'd see showers. She'd see stars. Now I see her. I'm in trouble Buffy. I could never ask not after... I could never ask. Never. Ok. Ok. Scream mantras all you like pet. I don't have anywhere else to go.
Xander's Rules For Spike
1. You're gonna live in a small room over there. I know it looks like a closet but it's a room now.
2. You're not gonna touch my food.
3. I take the first shower in the morning and if I use up all the hot water that's your tough noogies.
Roomies
Insane in the basement
Could no more stay
An idea was had
Into Xander's he moved
A closet for his room
Hands off the food
Follow the rules
Bloody bad idea
Doesn't pick up towels
At least he showers
Dawn's Rant On Love
I just don't think it's the school basement that's making people crazy. I just don't see why people bother. I mean you put all this energy into chasing and having and brooding and I just don't understand these relationships where you all do and say things... Well you could like paint a beautiful mural on every ugly wall in the world and then you could paint a beautiful mural on every ugly mural in the world.
Dawn Tries Cheerleading
Razorbacks, razorbacks
We're gonna play
We got a secret weapon
and his name is RJ
Hear us cheer
Hear us yell
Listen what we say
Razorbacks, razorbacks
Go RJ!
Not Tempted In The Slightest Not Because It Didn't Fit
It's the jacket. It's true. Something about the big letter on the chest makes girls get all swoony and crushy. I saw it all the time in school. You just couldn't pin any old felt letter to your coat and get play. Not that I tried.
Dawn's Pizza Song
Anchovies anchovies
You're so delicious
I love you more than all
the other fishes
Shoot the crossbow outside to avoid damage to the house.
Something In The Air
Sour on love
Until she sees
The guy with the jacket
Consumes her thoughts
She trys out for cheerleading
Didn't go as planned
Uniform cut to shreds
Dressed all sexy
To capture his eye
When the door opens
A strange thing happens
All fall for this guy
Even Willow who's gay
Is willing to fix that glitch
Wanting to prove their love
Each set out
Cast under a spell
A jacket that attracts
Eyes were opened
No serious damage done
Except for a few bank robberies
That will go unsolved
RJ
He lights up the room
Sinking into his embrace
Our souls touch
We are one
As pretty as a Dasiy
Is my sweet JR
We speak without words
He makes my heart sing
Built like a tower
I long to climb aboard you
You are my one true love
All others pale in comparision
I hunger for your touch
Willing sex poodle at your service
Your eyes are like a lake
That I want to get lost in
Falling into you
You're all I need
With you by my side
Body and soul RJ
You are my guy
Vamp Therapy
And the joke is he loved me. In his own sick soulless way he really did care for me. But I didn't want to be loved. I have all this power. I didn't ask for it. I don't deserve it. It's like I wanted to be punished. Wanted to hurt like I thought I deserved. I feel like I'm worse than anyone. Honestly I'm beneath them my friends, my boyfriends. I feel like I'm not worthy of their love. Because even though they love me it doesn't mean anything because their opinions don't matter. They don't know. They haven't been through what I've been through. They're not the Slayer I am. Sometimes I feel...this is awful I feel like I'm better than them superior.
Diagnosis From Holden
You do have a superiority complex and you've got an inferiority complex about it. Kudos. It all adds up to you feeling alone. But Buffy everybody feels along. Everybody is until you die.
Newly Risen
From the grave he rose
A new born vamire
From the class of 99
Holden Webster's his name
A psych student
A vamp therapist
Defies all gods now
Embracing the evil ways
Not such a bad guy
For a vampire
Turned to dust
But not before
Sharing some news
Naming his sire as Spike
Anya's Tips For Finding Out If Someone Is A Pyscho
1. Check the person's room for clues like trophies from victims.
2. Sometimes killers like to keep scalps, necklances made from human teeth.
3. Have a plan in case you get caught snooping in the person's room.
Anya's Cover Story
I'm here obviously for sex. You and me here and now. Let's go. Let's get it on you big bad boy. Yes kinky. No questions. No talking. I can't help it. I can't stop thinking about you and us and our brief and unforgettable time together. I mean why else would I be here? I mean it's not like I'm snooping for proof that you're some sort of whacked out serial killer. Forget I said that. It's crazy talk. It's just nerves. Nerves, nerves and horniess. Oh just shut up and take me. Take me now.
You think I'd honestly think I'd go to the end of the underworld and back to get my soul and then... Buffy I can barely live with what I did. It haunts me. All of it. If you think that I would add to the body count now, you're crazy. Oh, is that what this is? Right. You're jealous. Yeah, you saw me chatting up another bird, giving the eye to someone else. Touched a nerve didn't it? It burns, huh? But you can't admit it so you trump up some charge about me being back on the juice. Told you what? I go out yeah I talk to people. Women. I talk to them cause I can't talk to you. As daft a notion as soulful Spike the killer is it is nothing compared to the idea that another girl could mean anything to me. This chip they did to me. I could help it. But the soul I got on my own for you. So yeah I go and pass the time with someone. But that's all it is is time. Cause god help me Buffy it's still all about you.
Don't Mess With This Girl
I am a she-witch. A very powerful she-witch or witch as is more accurate. I am not one to be trifled with. I'm talking don't interrupt me! Insignificant man. I am WIllow. I am death. If you dare defy me I will call down my fury. Exact fresh vengeance and make your worst fears come true ok?
Love Lost
There was this one guy he uh hurt her real bad. So she paid him back. She killed him. She killed him but she did it real slow. See first she stopped his heart and then she replaced it with darkness. Then she made him live his life like that. But he still had to go do his job and see his friends, wake up in the morning, and go to bed at night. But he had to do it all empty without anything to look forward to ever. Well then she tore out his intestines and rubbed it in his face and took pictures.
Xand With The Knowledge
Trigger
It's a brainwashing term. It's how the military makes sleeper agents. They brainwash operatives and condition them with a specifice trigger like a song that makes them drastically change at a moments notice.
Spike On Blood
Do you know how much blood you can drink from a girl before she'll doe? I do. You see the trick is to just drink enough to know how to damage them just enough so that they'll still cry when you cause it's not worth it if they don't cry.
Buffy's Type
You like men who hurt you. You need the pain we cause you. You need the hate. You need it to do your job. To be the Slayer.
I Believe In You
Listen to me. You're not alive because of hate or pain. You're alive because I saw you change. Because I saw your pennace. Be easier wouldn't it if it were an act? But it's not. You faced the monster inside of you and you fought back. You risked everything to be a better man. And you can be. You are. You may not see it but I do. I do. I believe in you Spike.
Watcher's Final Words
We're still masters of our fate. We're still captains of our souls. Travers
Ladies and Gentlemen our fears have been confirmed. The first evil has declared all out war on this insitution. The first volleys flew most effective. I for one think it's time we struck back. Get me confirmations of all remaining operatives visuals and tacticals, highest alert. Get them as soon as possible. Begin preparations for mobilization. Once we're accounted for I want to be ready to move. We'll be paying a visit to the Hellmouth. My friends these are the times that define us.
Proverbs 24:6 By wise council you shall make your war.
Potential Slayers
Waiting to be called. There were many more like them all over the world but now there's just a handful and they're all on their way to Sunnydale. The others were murdered in cold blood. As well as their Watchers. We always feared that this day would come where there would be an attack but not just against an individual Slayer but against the whole line. Yes to erase all Slayers in training and Watchers along with their methods.
Potentials
A line that goes back
To the dawn of time
The Chosen Ones
Getting killed off
One by one
Destroying the line
A handful remain
Coming together
To save the line
Preventing the end of all
Buffy's Pep Talk
You're right. We don't know how to fight it. We don't know when it'll come. We can't run, can't hide, can't pretend it's not the end cause it is. Something's always been there to try and destory the world. We've beaten them back but we're not dealing with them anymore! We're dealing with the reason they exist. Evil. The strongest the first. I'm beyond tired. I'm beyond scared. I'm standing on the mouth of Hell and it's gonna swallow me whole and it'll choke on me. We're not ready? They're not ready. They think we're gonan wait for the end to come, like we always do. I'm done waiting. They want an apocalypse? Oh, we'll give'em one. Anyone else who wants to run do it now cause we just became an army. We just declared war. From now on we won't just face our worst fears. We will seek them out. We will find them and cut out their hearts one by one until the first shows itself for what it really is. And I'll kill it myself. There is only one thing on this earth more powerful than evil, and that us. Any questions.
Clem
A buddy of Spike's
Piggy with red eyes
With floppy ears
Fellow poker player
Gambles with kittens
A sweet guy
Likes food tasting
Has a new crypt
Complete with TivVo
What a surprise
When his face pops out
Giving a good scare
Slay 101
You're right you don't have Slayer strength but that doesn't mean that you're not strong. You have inherent abilities others do not have. No not yet. But it's there. You have the potential. You have strength, speed, instinct. You just have to learn to trust yourself. Don't fight on his terms. Your gut's telling you to run, run. Regain the highter ground make the fight your own.
Slay 101
He needs to kill to live. That tells you everything you need to know. Instinct. Understand his, but trust yours. You were chosen for a reason.
Slay 101
You're all gonna die. But you knew that already cause that's the cool reward of being human the big dessert at the end of the meal. Don't kid yourslef you guys. This whole thing is all about death. You think you're different cause you might be the next Slayer? Death is what the Slayer breathes, what a Slayer dreams about when she sleeps. Death is what a Slayer lives. My death could make you the Slayer. Oh goodie rapt attention. I love that so much. Now where was I? Ah. If we go with what Anya's resources are telling us, then the first is in remission for a while, which we think means advantage us. Best we can tell he or more precisely it was putting a lot of stock in that ubervamp thing, the Chaka Kahn. So when I kicked its ass, the firsty circus decided to back off for a while. Good news: It means we probaly don't have to worry about it pulling Spike's strings for a while. Here the halfempty: Time away means time to regroup, and part of that regrouping is coming back stronger than ever. The odds are against us. Time is against us, and some of us will die in this battle. Decide now that it's not going to be you. I know you're all tired, far away from home, anxious. But you're all special. Most people in this world have no idea why they're here or what they want to do. You do. You have a mission a reason for being here. You're not here by chace. You're here because you are the chosen ones.
On People Being Mean
Sometimes that's how people relate being mean to each other. Even mortal enemies then with the and that leads to no good, absolutely no good and much confusion, and then it's over, absolutely, seriously definetely over and that's confusing too the over part which it is over. So maybe..,
Slay 101
The vampire is an animal. Sometimes they run in packs, sometimes alone. Vampires can live anywhere any way they want. Tastes, fashions, living conditions they can vary. The animal inside? Always the same. You want to stay alive? You have to spot and identify a nest on sight. Look around all of you. Look for signs that just last night that maybe a dozen maybe two dozen vampires were right where we're standing. Go ahead.
It's not a body it's lefovers.
No one's safe not here not ever. See this guy? Now he's the enemy. You can't think too much. Reacting's better. Could be the difference between staying alive and that other thing. The question is never, "What do you think?" It's always, "What do you know?" You gotta know cause if you don't if you make one mistake it takes just one vampire to kill you. So you've gotta know you can take him. Know your environment. Know what's around and know how to use it. In the hands of a Slayer everything is a potential weapon if you know how to see it. When you're fighting you have to know yourself, your brain, your body. Know how to stay calm, centered. Every move is important. Every blow's gotta be a part of your plan. If you make that one mistake then it's over. You're not the Slayer. You're not a potential. You're dead. So what do you know? Right now the only thing you know for sure you got me. Xand Talk To Dawnie
It's a harsh gig being a potential. Just being picked out of the crowd. Danger, destiny, plus if you act now death. Yeah. They're special no doubt. And the amazing thing is not one of them will ever know. Not even Buffy. How much harder it is for the rest of us. Seven years, Dawn working with the Slayer. Seeing my friends get more and more powerful a witch, a demon. Hell I could fit Oz in my shaving kit, but come a full moon he had a wolfy mojo not to messed with. Powerful all of them. And I'm the guy that fixes the windows. I saw what you did last night. Well you thought you were all special, Miss Sunnydale 2003. And the minute you found out that you weren't, you handed the crown to Amanda without a moment's pause. You gave her your power. They'll never know how tough it is, Dawnie, to be the one who isn't chosen, to live so near the spotlight and never step in it, but I know. I see more than anyone realizes becuase nobody's watching me. I saw you last night. I see you working here today. You're not special. You're extraordinary.
How She Just Knew
The fun part is the process. Getting to know a girl it's like flirting in code. It's using body language and laughing at the right jokes. And looking into her eyes and knowing she's still whispering to you even when she's not saying a word. And that sense that if you could just touch her just one once everything would be ok for both of you. That's how you can tell. Or if she's really hot you could just get her drunk and see if she comes onto you.
Kennedy's Realization At The Age Of Five
It was Gone With The Wind. I saw that and I knew I wanted to sweep Scarlett off her feet.
What Kennedy Likes About Willow
I dig the way you always turn off the Moulin Rouge DVD at chapter 32 so it has a happy ending. I like the way you speak. It's interesting. And your freckles likeable. I'm not so into the magick stuff. It seems like fairy tale crap to me but it matters to you. You care about it. So it's cool.
The Flirt
Kennedy is her name
One of the potentials
Ready to slay
Don't hog the covers
Not with this girl
Liking what she sees
In the girl named Willow
Dropping little hints
A slight deception
To get a date
Ending in a kiss
When wackiness ensued
As is always seems to do
The girl of her affection
Goes through quite a change
From girl to guy in a blink of an eye
Wicca Group
Bakesales are second Tuesday of every month
Instill us oh great one
with peace
with strength
with compassion
with hope.
The path we seek
is yours keep
us on that path.
Apologizing?
Um ok here's the thing hi. Here's the thing I'll just get this out of the way. I'm sort of screwed up but um you already know cause you lived it. It took me a long time to really see myself but I did. Cause you know that's the crazy thing about hitting rock bottom you get to relive all the crappy things that you did. And I wanted to come find you and tell you that I was here working on things with these guys and to do good. And I'm sorry. But you're here looking like.. Wow! How did this happen?
Power
Oh just your standard pentsmell addiction is all. I put a hex on her. That's rich. That must have been some kiss. You must be good. The hex I cast lets the victim's subconcious pick the form of their punishment. It's always better than anything I could come up with. Ok. Oh wait I forgot. No! This is not about hate it's about power . Willow always had all the power. Long before she even knew what to do with it just came so easy for her. The rest of us had to work twice as hard to be half as good. But no one cares about how hard you work. They just care about cute, sweet Willow. You don't know how weak she is. She gave into evil. Stuff worse than I could even imagine. She almost destroyed the world and yet everyone keeps on loving. So what's wrong with having a little fun huh? Taking her down a peg or two. It was just a game. It's not my fault if she's losing herself. Hey I'm not the bad guy here but I wonder where he'll be right about now.
Chipectomy
Back to the Initiative
Where it began
The chip implanted
Something gone wrong
In Spike's head
Unbearable pain
Looking for answers
Dead bodies abound
A demon welcome
Killed the beast
The lights turn on
Help has arrived
Thanks to good ole Finn
Buffy has the final say
Remove or fix
Chose to remove
Chip from his brain
Guilt
With one kiss
An attraction
Brief happiness
Things change
A new face
Bad hex in place
Guilt over letting go
Feeling once again
Becoming the one she killed
Guilt over her beloved's death
Feeling like it was all her fault
Found her way back
With another kiss
Slay 101
It was extraoridnarally good luck of course and training. Years of training. You're new here Chou-Ann. Take note. Remember about training. I honestly feel the largest part of it is instinct. Instinct and reflexes it's a sort of wary watchfulness I've developed over the years. It's like another sense. (I knew the Bringer was there because his shoes squeaked.)
Buffy On Mr Woods
He's good looking. He's solid. He's smart. He's normal. So not the wicked energy which is nice. I don't want to only be attracted to wicked energy. But what if he is wicked in which case is that why I'm attracted to him? You know what yeah I think I like him and it would be good for me.
Giles Feelings About Malls
Dear lord I hate that mall. Shop assistants are rude and everything in the food court is sticky.
Xander On Potentials
It's got to be rough getting just like pulled out of your home. Being told you're a potential Slayer. Not being able to bring anything.
Xander Has A Date
I'm going in blind. I'm gonna be an optimist about this. Why go looking for trouble if it's gonna find ya it's gonna find ya.
Standing Up
Geek he may be
Tricked into killing
His best friend
Wanting to redeem himself
He turned to good
Stood up to the First
Without a tear shed
Not a total coward
A touch of bravery
Inside him after all
Showered With Evil
Each day he stis
Upon the mouth of Hell
Evil brewing beneath
A bidet of evil
Unsure of him
Aligned with the First?
A real possibility
Asked for a deate
Intentions are unknown
Interest or just plain evil
Just A Dream
A crypt or two
With a white picket fence
Eyes are open
Bloody dangerous
Those picket fences
Dealing with things
Won't get the girl
That he truly loves
Standing aside
Though he aches
Deep inside
Principal Wood
Robin heads the school
Such a charming guy
Good or evil
Yet to be determined
It's a toss up
A secret he reveals
Son of a Slayer
Possibily a good guy
All signs point that way
At the age of four
His mom was lost
Killed by Spike
Out to avenge his mom
Possibly try to kill him?
Avenge his mother's death?
Bad Luck Again
This can't just happen. It can't just keep happening that demon women find me attractive. There's gotta be a reason.
The end is coming. The final fight and everyone's hearing the drum beat. It's telling us to pick our partners. Align ourselves with the good or evil.
I'm Turning Gay!
Another demon woman was attracted to me. I'm going gay. I've decided I'm turning gay. Willow gay me up. Come on let's gay. You heard me. Just tell me what to do. I'm mentally undressing Scott Bakula. That's a start isn't it? Come on let's get the gay show on the gay road. Help me out here. I need some stouch new clothes.
Demon Magnet
Met a new girl
Looking for rope
She seemed nice
Asked her out
Met at the Expresso Pump
Had some cocoa
Oh no not again
Another demon
Strings him up
Another uber vamp
Nearly pops out
A declaration made
Xander's going gay
Could backfire
Guy demons he could attract
Clem a possibility
Needing new clothes
Making a list
Anya's Thoughts On Going Human Again
I'm a bright girl. Good education. Quick on the uptake. So tell me why in the name of all mighty Grathnor would I let myself become human again? I mean sure the vengeance demon gig had some downsides. But being human uh you're always ick on the inside, disgusting on the outside. You know the only thing worse than being human is being trapped inside a house full of humans. I mean it's like we live in Slayer Central. I swear if Buffy rooms or boards one more of the potential girls I'm gonna call a... I'm gonna call a health inspector.
Spike's Plan
I like my plan better. Get up. Get out. Get drunk. Repeat as needed. It's just more elegant.
A Few Words About Chloe
Anyone wanna say a few words about Chloe? Let me. Chloe was an idiot. Chloe was stupid. She was weak. And anyone in a rush to be the next dead body I bury it's easy just think of Chloe and do what she did. And I'll find room for you next to her and Anabell. I'm the Slayer. The one with the power. And the First has me using that power to dig our graves. I've been carrying you. All of you. Too far too long. Ride's over. You're new here and you're wrong because I use the power that I have. The rest of you are just waiting for me. Well from now on I'm your leader as in do what I say. Then why are you here? Aside from getting rescued what is it that you do? You're here because you're scared. Fine Anya all of you be scared as you like just be useful while you're at it. The First isn't impressed. It already knows us. It knows what we can do and it's laughing. You wanna surprise the enemy surprise yourselves. Force yourself to do what can't be done or else we are not an army. We're just a bunch of girls waiting to be picked off and buried.
Shadow Casters
You put them in motion and they tell you a story. You can't just watch you have to see.
The Story Of The First Slayer
You put on those puppet guys one by one. They cast shadows and the shadows tell the story. First there is the earth. Then there came the demons. After demons there came men. Men found a girl. Then they took the girl to fight to demon. All demons. They changed her to the earth. Something about darkness. It says you cannot be shown. You cannot just watch but you must see. See for yourself but only if you're willing to make the exchange.
Witchy Advice
Physics. Principles. Basic laws. Conservation of energies you can't really create or destory anything just transfer. Magick works off physics. Not without a catalyst. It you're talking about transferring energies you need some kind of conduit. Like a krackens tooth, skin of tukonis, ground up Baltic stone.
The Shadow Guys
We know who you are. And we know why you're here. We've been waiting. We have been here since the begining. Now, we are almost at the end. You are the hellmouth's last guardian. We cannot give you knowledge. Only power.
We are at the beginning. The source of your strength. The well of the Slayer's power. This is why we have brought you here. The first Slayer did not talk so much. Herein lies your truest strength. The energy of the demon. Its spirit. Its heart. Created the Slayer? Yes. It must become one with you. This will make you ready for the fight. This is how it was then. How it must be now. This is all there is. This is what you came for. Do not fight this. You don't understand.
Buffy's Response
You think I came all this way to get knocked up by some demon dust. I can't fight this. I know that now. You guys you're just men. Just the men who did this. To her whoever that girl was before she was the first Slayer. No you don't understand. You violated that girl. Made her kill for you because you're weak. You're pathetic and you obviously have nothing to show me.
Motivation Tools
Twinkies and kisses also peachy motivational tools.
Entertaining and educating
Oh hello there gentle viewers. You caught me catching up on an old favorite. It's wonderful to get lost in a story isn't it? The adventure and heroics and discovery. Don't they just take you away? Mmm. Come with me now if you will gentle viewers. Join me now on a new voyage of the mind a little tale I like to call Buffy Slayer Of The Vampires.
It was cold last night and the wind was cruel but the Slayer had a job to do. Unfortunatley vampires have a job to do too. Ouch my goodness things look bad for the Slayer don't they? She didn't see that second vampire concealed by cover of darkness ready to attack and make her his own vampirical spawn. Let's rejoin them now see..
Hey why do vampires show up on video? I'll cut the footage together and do the intro tomorrow. She was a woman in danger or...
It's a valuable document for the ages a Slayer in action.
But the story needs to be told.
The world's gonna want to know about Buffy. It's a story of ultimate triump tinged with a bitterness for what's been lost in the struggle. It's a legacy for future generations.
Let's explore the world of our story shall we? Buffy lives in Sunnydale, California. Um this is the local high school. There's a hellmouth, hellmouth underneath the high school. See weird things happen on a hellmouth. It attracts all sorts of bad people and demons and vampires. And now there's this thing in the basement of the high school called the Seal of Danzelthrag and it's sort of a door to the hellmouth. Due to some circumstances it got opened up a little bit recently and this nasty, nasty vampire came came out of it. It was it was just awful, awful. Um now this whole thing is being orchestrated by something called the First. It's made up of all the evil in the whole world. There's also these guys they work for the First. We don't know much about them except for they're very ugly and they're very mobile for blind people. Is that all clear? It's morning in Sunnydale. And the women of Command Central take the time to fortify themselves for the day ahead. Women and Xander.
Xander's Special Intro
The man who is the heart of the Slayer machine.
Full house think this is a good time to do introductions don't you gentle viewers?
Let's start from the top. You've already met Buffy. She's beautiful with a lion's heart and the face of an angel. She's never free because she knows her side will always win. Buffy and Spike have some kind of history. You can feel the heat between them although technically as a vampire he's room temperature. Anya a fiesty waif with a fiery temper and a vulnerable heart that she hides even from herself. This lovely girl I don't remember her name.
Honestly gentle viewers these motivating speeches of hers tend to get a little long. I'll take you back there in a little while but in the in between time I thought you might want to know a little about me your humble host. You see I'm a man with a burden. A man with a dark past. You see I was once a Supervillian.
She's not done even Willow looks bored and she usually can take a lot of that stuff. Look at her. Oh you see that? That's important. Willow and Kennedy have been kinda in a bad place lately but things are looking up. You see Kennedy pursued the reluctant Willow and won her heart only to find herself frightened when she glimpsed the darkness that still lies within the witch's mind. Side note I once had my own personal encounter with Dark Willow.
She was something indeed she was. Eh think Buffy stopped talking. That usually means she had to go to work. Let's see what the little locusts had for breakfast shall we?
Dawn is a typical American teenager bubbly and sweet with a hunger for fun and a smile that lights up the room. Dawn used to be a key. I don't really know what that means. Hey here's something I think you're gonna be interested in gentle viewers. Look at the fine work Xander did in replacing the window sash. You can't even tell it's new. It blends in so well. He's extraordinary.
This is Xander and Anya interview #1 for Buffy the Slayer of the Vampires. (Or Buffy the Slayer Who Knew No Fear)
Andrew: I understand that exactly one year ago you left Anya at the altar any comment on that?
Xander: Whoa! What the hell!
Andrew: I just think people will be interested.
Anya: I know I am. What do you have to say for yourself one year later?
Xander: I've apologized enough that's what I have to say.
Andrew: But you think it was something that called for an apology?
Xander: Well yes.
Andrew: So you don't think it was the right thing to do?
Anya: Of course he doesn't think it was the right thing to do.
Xander: It was the right thing to do.
Anya: What?
Andrew: Interesting. I feel like we're getting something here.
Xander: Look Anya if I'd married you it would have been against everything I felt was best. It wouldn't have worked.
Anya: But we we still spark. I mean I get jealous of you. You get jealous of me. You still love me.
Andrew: Is that true Xander? Do you still love her?
Anya and Xander Continued
Anya: You keep dodging the question.
Xander: I don't meant to. It's just you know how I feel right? And you were the one who didn't want to keep seeing each other.
Anya: And here's where we hop on the merry go round of rotating knives. I blame you and you blame me and we both end up all cut to shreds. Please just tell me do you still love me?
Xander: Yes. I still love you. I always will. I just don't know if that means anything for us anymore.
Anya: Well I love yo utoo. I don't know if that means anything either.
Xander: Well it's nice to hear. I'm not gonna find anyone out there like you am I?
Anya: Doesn't seem likely.
Xander: I guess I'm more replaceable obviously.
Anya: No. There's no one like you Xander. You were willing to stand up to danger even when your hands had no weapons. You were ready to protect me with your life.
Xander: Yeah I guess we fit together pretty good.
Anya: We fit together great.
Xander: You know sometimes I want to be back in your life.
Anya: I hope you know you never left my heart.
Yet Another Pep Talk
This is about war. I'm sorry to jump all over you guys but I have to tell you what's really going on. There's something new. If we can survive what's coming but not like this. I had a vision of what's to come a horrible vision of hundreds upon hundreds... It's more than just a battle. It's going to be a battle like we've never seen before not physically I mean mentally and from what I've seen so far there's no way you girls are ready. You have to...
Overworked Student
I'm so I cant take this semester anymore. It's just so much for me to handle. So not only does Mr Hillbrand move up the Trig exam to today but he also makes it cover three more chapters and I've got an English paper due tomorrow. I feel like I'm gonna explode!
Buffy's Advice
You just need to relax. You know umm maybe one of you guys could give him a foot rub?
What's Happening
There's this thing that happens here in this school over the hellmouth where the way a thing feels it kind of starts being that way for real. I've seen all these things before just not all at once. War pretty much. Being in high school can feel like being at wary. Now it's true. The students feel like the teachers are out to get them. The chess club resents the French club for taking the activities room. Everybody hates the cheerleaders. If we don't do something about this we're gonna have a riot on our hands. And a lot of other nasty stuff too.
Snapping Andrew Into Reality
Well I don't like having to give a bunch of speeches about how we're all gonna live because we won't. This isn't some story where good triumhs because good triumphs. Good people are going to die. Girls. Maybe me. Probably you. Probably right now. When your blood pours out it might save the world What do you think about that? Does it buy it all back? Are you redeemed?
Seeking Redemption
A guy with a mission
Gets some new clothes
Picks up a camera
Recording the Slayer
Hogging the bathroom
Spends much time in there
And not to masturbate
Finally faced the truth
No more tales
Best friend dead
Slain by his hand
Tears closed the seal
Nikki's Thoughts On Being A Slayer
Always gotta work the mission.
The mission is what matters
Spike's Tip
The stake's your friend.
Gile's Thoughts About The New Library
Everything's terrible. A total catastrophe. Have you seen the new library there's nothing but computers. There's not a book to be seen. I don't know where to begin Buffy. I mean who do we speak to? So we should go before the school board. Well I can have my backup libary sent from home in the meantime you know it's not much but..knowledge comes from crafted bindings and pages Buffy not from 1's and 0's.
Anya's Rant About Spike
Don't waste your time down that road. Spike's got some get out of jail free card that doesn't apply to the rest of us. I mean he could slaughter a hundred frat boys. Forgiveness makes us human. Blah dee blah blah!
Gile's Lecture
I'm still your teacher Buffy. As adept you are as a Slayer there are always new things to learn. Now more than ever it's crucial to maintain focus on your calling. Buffy while I'm technically not your Watcher anymore the fact that your life is such chaos only underscores the importance of the lessons I may impart to you. We're on the verge of war. It's time you looked to the big picture. It takes more than rousing speeches to lead Buffy. If you're going to be a general you need to be able to make difficult decisions regardless of cost. Well that's what we're here to find out while we work on the basics.
Mum's Thoughts On Being Turned Into A Vampire
Hello William. Mmm all better. Am I? I suppose I have you to thank for that don't I? How ever will I repay you? Oh William you're so tender. Ah yes us. Pleasure? To take my leave of you of course. The lark has spake from twixt as be. You honestly thought I could bear an eternity of listening to that twaddle. I feel extraordinary it's al thought I've been given new eyes. I see everything, understand everything. I hate to be cruel. No I don't. I used to hate to be cruel in life. I find it rather freeing. Nothing less will pry your greedy little fingers off my apron strings will it? Ever since the day you first slithered from me like a parasite. Had I known better I could have spared myself a lifetime of tedium and just dashed your brains out when I first saw you. God I prayed you'd find a woman to release me but you scarcely showed an interest. Who could compare to your doddering housebound mum a captive audience for your witless prattle. Darling that's who you'll always be a limp sentimental fool. You want to run don't you scamper off and cry to your new little trollulp? Do you think you'll be able to love her? think you'll be able to touch her without feeling me? All you've ever wanted was to be back inside. You've finally got your wish didn't you? Sank your teeth into me an eternal kiss. You wanted your hands on me perhaps you'd like a chance to finish off what you started. Just like this. This is what you always wanted. Who's my dark little prince? Get out! Get out! There there precious it will only hurt for a moment.
Spike's Thoughts
I wasn't talking to you. I don't give a piss about your mum. She was a Slayer I was a vampire that's the way the game is played. She knew what she was signing up for. Well that's the rub in't it. You didn't sign up for it and somehow it's my fault. And you weren't hers. Doesn't that piss you off? I know Slayers. No matter how many people they got around them they fight alone. Life of the Chosen One the rest of us be damned. Your mother was no different. But not enought to quit though was it? Not enough to walk away for you. I'll tell a story about a mother and son. See like you I loved my mother so much so I turned her into a vampire yeah so we could be together forever. She said some nasty bits to me after I did that been weighing on me for quit some time. But you helped me figure something out. You see unlike you I had a mother who loved me back. When I sired her I set loose a demon and it tore into me but it was the demon talking not her. I realize that now. My mother loved me with all her heart. I was her whole world. Thanks Doc you cured me after all. I got my own free will now. I'm not under the First or anyone's influence now. I just wanted you to know that before I killed you.
Spike's Thoughts On Angel
I'm nothing like Angel. Angel's dull as a table lamp and we have different coloring.
Andrew's Thoughts On Faith
Faith her name alone invokes awe. Faith a set of principles or beliefs upon which you're willing to devote your life. The dark Slayer a lethal combination of beauty, power, and death. For years and years or to be more accurate months Faith fought on the side of good terrorizing the evil community. But unlike so many tragic heroes Faith was seduced by the lure of the dark side. She wrapped evil around her like a large Mexican sarapi. She became a cold blooded killer nobody was immune to her trail of destruction not friends, not family, not even the most passifistic and logical of races. There are things you need to knwo about. Faith has a history not to be taken lightly. She's a killer never forget that. You must stay on guard around Faith at all times your very lives may depend on it.
New Player In Town
We've got a new player in town dresses like a preacher, calls himself Caleb. Looks like he's working for the First. He's taunting us, calling us out. Say's he's got something of mine. Could be another girl. Could be something else. Don't know. Don't care. I'm tired of talking. I'm tired of training. He's got something of mine. Fine I'm getting it back and you guys are coming with me.
Xander's Fighting Tips
Now remember we're looking for killing blows only people so chest and throat if it's a vampire, stomach and face if it's a Bringer. Could happen something otherworldy and here's a handy rule don't go for the flashy tentacles just because they're waving them about and trying to get attention. Go for the center brain, heart, eyes. Everything's got eyes except the Bringers.
Godzilla is mostly Tokyo based so he's probably a no show. Andrew
Xander Sets The Potentials Straight Regarding Buffy
Let me tell you something about Buffy. In fact you all should listen to this. I've been through more battles with Buffy than you all you could ever imagine. She's stopped everything that has ever come up against her. She's laid down her life literally to protect the people around her. This girl has died two times and she's still standing. You're scared that's smart. You got questions you should. But you doubt her motives you think Buffy's all about the kill then you take the little bus to battle. I've seen her heart and this time not literally and I'm telling you right now she cares more about your lives than you will ever know. You got to trust her. She's earned it.
Clem Skedaddles
It's getting bad here really bad. Hellmouth acting up again. People feeling it getting crazier. You can't swing a cat without hitting some kind of demonic activity not that I swing cats or eat. Nope cutting way back. Cholosterol morals I mean morals. We've seen some bad stuff in this town before but you know this time it seems like it's more different, powerful. I don't think anyone's gonna be able to stop it. I mean I'm sure you'll do find complete confidence in you. Uh if anyone can do it you can because you rock. If you save the world I'll come back. We'll have drinks. When, when I mean when you save the world it's gonna be great with all the rocking. Maybe, maybe you should just get out of town this time. You take care of yourself ok.
Xand's New Status
I can't taste anything right now anyway. I keep waiting for my senses to improve 50%. Well they should kick in any day.
I might see you tonight without depth perception of course but still...
I'm gonna need a parrot well to go with the eye patch to really complete the look. I think I still have that costume from Halloween.
Willow's Two For One
Yeah and don't underestimate the impact of a peg leg. Maybe the hospital can hook you up with a nice one. Maybe they have a two body parts for the price of one kind of deal.
Xand's Postive Outlook
Oh you know what the best part is? Nobody will ever make me watch Jaws 3d again. Anya's Speech
And so we know that a battle is coming uber vamps galore. Uh we also know that the uber vamps are hard to kill. But I have been out talking to some of my old contacts and they've provided some surprising bits of news. Yea for them. Uh ok for example uber vamps can be staked right through the heart. Zing poof just like regular vamps. Um we didn't know this. Um of course these guys have incredibly strong sternums so it's a lot like driving a wooden stake through solid steel but you guys are all super strong right. RIgh. Ok. But um still heart information still good to know since holy water seems to run off these guys like they've been scotch guarded. Um and while sunlight might work but guess what they're not coming out during daytime. Also beware of their teeth and their claws that they use to shred flesh.
Doing Her Part
Ok I know you're all upset and I myself would much rather be sitting at the bedside of my one eyed ex fiancee than killing time with you people in this over crowded might I add increasingly ripe basement. And I would be too if not for a certain awkward discussion he and I recently had right over there on that cot immediately following some exciting and unexpected breakup sex. But I need to give him some space. So I'm doing what I can do contributing any way I can and so will all of you. You still need to know this information. We can't stop just because something else is trying to kill you too.
Kennedy's Slip Of The Tongue
His ability to render a Slayer useless in just one punch.
Junior Watcher On The Case
Mission up north on Gilroy: No vandalism at all. The place was abandoned. Locals started noticing after a few days that no one was going in or out. Six members of the order lived there but when the cops showed up all gone. Unsolved.
That Was My Hot Pocket
See it's not the Hot Pocket itself even though it did have that new and improved thicker tomato sause. It's just the fundamental lack of respect.
Words Of Wisdom From Faith
1. Have more confidence in them.
2. Let em mess up sometimes.
3. You know get down and dirty.
How else are they gonna learn? The Road trip
You sure you don't want to stop and pick up some burgers or something you know road trip food.
Here's A Tip: When traveling with a vampire mention blood since he might want some although some vampires eat food on occassion.
I bet even covert operatives eat curly fries they're really good.
Here's A Tip: If eating curly fries don't forget to bring some wet wipes to wash your hands so they aren't all greasy when you need to fight.
Finding Common Ground With Geek Boy
Not as good as those onion blossom things.
Ooh I love those.
Yeah me too.
It's an onion and it's a flower. I don't understand how such a thing is possible.
Spike Spills The Secret Of The Onion Blossom
Well you see the genius of it is you soak it in ice water for an hour so it holds its shape and you deep fry it fruit side up for about five minutes.
Coming To An Understanding
Tell anyone we had this conversation I'll bite you.
Andrew Tries His Intimidation Techniques
Can't is a four letter word Commander. I'll be your bad cop this evening. If you don't start singing my associate will....Run is a four letter word a three letter word.
Here's A Tip: Make sure you know how many letters are in a word before you try this particular technique to avoid embarrassing mishaps.
Priest Tells Of Caleb's Time In The Mission
One night some time ago a man arrived at our doors. We are a benevolent order and yes we welcomed him. We offered to feed him but he had come for something else. Behind this (wall opens where a statue of Mary is) he revealed soemthing even we didn't know was here a secret room. He was excited talking the whole time destiny that sort of thing. He was going on about this ancient inscription. He read it but he didn't like what it said. His temper he was the purest evil I've ever seen. He burned his mark upon me and then I ran and I hid and I listened to the others die.
The Inscription
It is not for thee it is for her alone to wield.
Parties in this house I usually end up having to rebuild something. Xander
A Final Lecture Before Being Booted
It's about the cellar. Look I know that night wasn't fun for any of us but I figured out some things about that place and I realize now what we have to do. We're going back in. I know what you're thinking but I had a visit today at the school from Caleb. I'm fine I mean it wasn't fun but I'm fine. I'm better than fine. I figured something out. He kept making all this noise about the school. No that's just it we spent all this time worrying about the seal and the hellmouth. Why isn't Caleb guarding that? Why doesn't he have someone there protecting it? Why is he camped out at the vineyard? The bad guys always go where the power is so if the seal was so important to Caleb and the First they'd be there right now. They're protecting the vineyard or something at the vineyard. I say it's their power and I say it's time we go and take it away from them. I'm not saying it's gonna be easy. I don't understand this for seven years I've kept us safe by doing this exactly this making the hard decisions and now what suddenly you're all acting like you don't trust me. Look I wish this could be a democracy I really do. But democracies don't win battles. It's a hard truth but there has to be a single voice. You need someone to issue orders and be reckless sometimes and not take your feelings into account. You need someone to lead you.
But not without a price. I'm trying to see your point here Buf but I guess it must be a little to my left casue I just don't. Xander
Anya's Thoughts About Buffy
Automatically you. You really think you're better than we are. But we don't know. We don't know if you're actually better. I mean you came into the world with certain advantages sure I mean that's the legacy. But you didn't earn it. You didn't work for it. You've never had anybody come up to you and say that you deserve these things more than anyone else. They were just handed to you so that doesn't make you better than us it makes you luckier than us.
I'm not in charge chick. Faith
Why Faith Came
I came here to beat the other guy to do right however it works. I don't know if I can lead but the real question is can you follow.
Dawn Takes Charge
Then you can't stay here. Buffy I love you but you were right we have to be together on this. You can't be a part of it so I need you to leave. I'm sorry but this is my house too.
Buffy's Advice To Faith
Don't be afraid to lead them whether you wanted to or not their lives are yours. It's only gonna ge harder. Protect them. Lead them.
Anya Chimes In
No let the girl speak the truth. We're all at death's door with people ringing the door like manical girlscouts trying to make their quota.
Lights Out
Arguing among themselves
A complete mess
Right after giving Buffy the boot
Talking all around with no listening
All by herself walking the streets
People packing up and taking off
Decides to get herself a house
Runs off the guy still inside
Helpful Tip: If all Hell is breaking loose and people are leaving in droves then it's a good idea for you to hightail it to since a shotgun won't be a whole lot of Hell when the beasties come a calling.
Don't worry it's far more likely you'll live long enough to watch most of your friends die first and then you'll die. Anya
Yeah I'll get the magazines and start ripping out letters now.
Dear Mr First
If you want your bringer back well we'll be surprised because you got like 3 million of them. Please disregard this letter.
Yours Sincerely
Helpful Tips: Use a scissors to cut out the letters since it's neater that way and looks better when you want to make the ransom note. Also don't lie to the vampire because he'll smell it a mile away. Check to make sure the book has a translation before reading the Turkish version since it can get a bit dry and tedious.
Conjuration: Spell to communicate with the dying
So this spell is used to communicate with people who can't talk um like if a person was dying or you know gripe about how no one came to visit them. Would this help with Mr No Tongue. Dawn
Spike Sticks Up For Buffy
Oh yeah you all decided. You sad, sad ungrateful traitors. Who do you think you are? Oh that's ballsy of you you're her friends and you betray her like this. You know I think you do Rupert. You used to be the big man didn't you the teacher all full of wisdome. Now she's surpassed you and you can't handle it. She has saved your lives again and again. She has died for you and this is how you thank her.
Channeling The Bringer Through Andrew
I am drawn to the line that is evil. They say I'm part of the great darkness. I am only a fragment of the we. We work as one to serve the First. We are to prepare for the inevitable battle. We can feel the knife. We tend to the needs of the infinite evil. We exterminate girls and destroy the legacy of the Slayer. We build an arsenal beneath the dirt. We obey the commands of our teacher Caleb. We build weapons to prepare for the coming war at the farthest edge of town. We are everywhere. We're like the ocean's waves. We watch your efforts and are not scared. We will laugh at you as you die.
The First As The Mayor
I'd say better than fine I'd say you're doing a bang up job. Well gosh I think a you know hello or a nice to see you might be a little more welcome. It's the end of humanity Faith not the end of courtesy. Yeah, yeah no one's explained to you how this works have they? You see I am part of the First as you kids call it but I'm also me Richard Wilkens the third, late mayor and founder of Sunnydale. Here I'll prove it to you aske me a question only I know like where did I hide the Moon Pies in my office or who was my favorite character in Little Women? May. I know. I know most people guess Beth but May is such a proper young woman. Remember when Jo burned her hair? Hey, hey, hey, hey language you're a leader now you keep throwing around the H E double hockey sticks around pretty soon the girls are gonna pick up on it then what? You're doing a great job with them by the way much better than Buffy ever did and you were smart to kick her out. Why are you protecting her? Do you think she cares about you? She nearly killed you Faith. No matter what you do Buffy will always see you as a killer not as a person and now you have what she so desperately wants the respect of these girls. All she needs is an excuse and she'll finish what she started when she stuck that knife in your belly. Stay on your guard Faith. Buffy's dangerous if you're not careful she'll destroy you. I'm just sayin.
Buffy's Thoughts
These are girls that I got killed. I cut myself off from them all of them. I knew I was gonna lose some of them and I didn't...You know what I'm making excuses. I've always cut myself off. I've always...Being the Slayer made me different but it's my fault I stayed that way. People were always trying to connect to me. I'd just slip away you should know. Please you were never close. You just wanted me because I was unattainable.
Spike's Turn
I've hummed along to your pitty ditty and I think I should have the mic for a bit. You're insufferable. I'm not trying to cheer you up. I don't know I'll know when I'm done saying it. Something pissed me off and I just...Unattainable that's it. You listen to me I've been alive a bit longer than you and dead a lot longer than that. I've seen things you couldn't imagine. I've done things I'd prefer you didn't. I don't excactly have a reputation of being a thinker. I follow by blood which doesn't exactly rush in the direction of my brain. I make a lot of mistakes a long of wrong bloody calls. A hundred plus years and there's only one thing I've ever been sure of, you. Hey look at me. I'm not asking you for anything. When I say I love you it's not because I want you or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you and I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman. You're the one Buffy. I don't don't to be this good looking and athletic. We all have crosses to bear.
Touch
Not wanting to be alone
She asks him to hold her
Freaked out and in need
Skin on skin
Cleared the room out
So they can be alone
Needing to be touched
Thoughts of tomorrow gone
Lost in the moment
Small talk over ice cream
Winding up on the floor
Needing that someone
Forget everything else
Andrew On Grocery Stores
It's pretty amazing the whole grocery store just abandoned food lying around everywhere. The produce was on its way to Funky Town but the apples still look pretty good so everyone should check those out.
The Morale Booster
I've been here keeping morale up because that's important. Yes I'll stay here and keep working on that morale thing.
Remember the training. Everybody get ready. Kennedy
Heat Of Battle Tips
1. Remember the training which is very important otherwise you're toast.
2. Be prepared with weapons or look around for something that can be used.
3. Hold your weapons properly since it would be bad if it got knocked out of your hand by your fright or the bad guy.
4. If you must scream do so while fighting.
Andrew And Anya Go To The Hospital For Supplies
I like the real bandages better. These bedsheets are awfully festive. Andrew
Everything is horrible. Yep many of these girls will die. A slaughter house is what this is. Trying to talk will just kill you sooner. Anya
Here's A Tip: When you are bandaging up a person don't talk about death even if it is true. It's just a common courtesy since the hurt person will just end up wigging out and that would be bad.
Yeah well I could use a cookie but I'm not making reckless wishes. Anya
Here's A Tip: Be careful for what you wish for.
Andrew's Positivity
No no we can do it. The hospital it's got to be all abandoned like the grocery store supplies just lying around for the taking. I'm going in. And you're coming with me. Well I think you should drive cause that Scoth made me a little dizzy.
Xander Gets A Mission
Wait I'm not at the got it place. I'm still at the neighborhood. I don't Buffy do you get that? If I do this that's it for me for this fight. I feel like you're putting me out to pasture. Well you know it's when a cow gets old and loses an eye or its ability to be milked. The farmer takes it and puts it in another pasture so it won't have to fight with the priest. Look I don't need you to protet me. I got hurt. I'm not done I can still fight. I just always thought that I would be there with you, you know for you end. Not that this is the end. No, no, no by the end I meant uh heroic and uplifting way. See I'm still optimistic. You're just thrown off a little by this gritty looking eyepatch. I should be at your side. That's all I'm saying.
Buffy's Concerns
Also you can't shoot a bow and arrow anymore and every time you pick up a sword I worry you're going to break one of our good lamps.
Her Strength
Wouldn't have come this far
Without her devoted dear Xander
Ready for battle after losing an eye
Doesn't want to be put out to pasture
Sent off on a missin
Take Dawn away from here
Hoping to get them safely away
Before the big battle hits
Knocks her out cold and drives off
Not feeling so swell she zaps him
Little Dawnie takes charge of the sitch
Willow And Giles
If I tried something big I'd change than it's all black hair and veins and lightning bolds. I can hardly do a locater spell without getting dark roots.
Do what you can. That's all any of us can do.
Gulpstop?
Hierglyphs stand for sets of consonatns as you know. M plus the gulpstop is represented by a picture that's commonly thought to symbolize a sickle or a scythe. It's in thousands of carvings from Egypt throughout the ancient world.
Here's A Tip: Sometimes you just need to pretend you know what the other person is talking about even if you haven't a clue.
I don't leave crossbows around all willy nilly. Dawn
Xander On One Eyed Jokes
Hey you know I have to take a driving test every year now. No because my eye it's a whole state law they don't trust my depth perception anymore. You know what's even worse all those stupid its all good and fun games until someone loses an eye jokes. Hey Xander uh so no more fun and games huh. That's not the point. It's an obvious joke that would be like someone calling me a cyclops. I mean uh give me some eye of the beholder jokers you know some eye for an eye jokes or maybe even a post modern I Claudius joke. It's about standards Dawnie. Just be creative.
Buffy On War
People die. You lead them into battle they're gonna die. Doesn't matter how ready you are or how smart you are. War is about death needless stupid death.
Faith Opens Up
So here's the laugh riot my whole life I've been a liar. I'm trying to...No ties. No buddies. No relationships that laster longer than well Robin lasted pretty long boy's got stamina. Ok the point me by myself all the time looking at everything you have and I don't know jealous. And then there I am everybody's looking to me trusting me to lead them and I've never felt so alone in my life. That's you every day isn't it?
I love my friends. I'm my very grateful for them but that's the price of being a Slayer. Buffy
Faith On Why They Clash
There's only supposed to be one. Maybe that's why you and I can never get along. We're not supposed to exist together.
Also you went evil and went killing people. Buffy
Spike On The Scythe
Well pointy and wooden isn't exactly the look I want to know better but it does have flare.
Buffy Tells Spike What She Thinks Of Him
You're a dope. You're a dop and a bonehead and you're shirty. Do you see this? This may actually help me fight my way. This might be the key to everything and the reason I'm holiding it is because of you. Because of the strength that you gave me last night. I am tired of defensiveness and weird mixed signals you know I have Faith for that. Let's just get to the truth here ok. I don't know how you felt about last night but I will not...
Spike's Thoughts Of Last Night
Terrified. Last night was...God I'm such a jerk. I can't do this. It was the best night of my life. If you poke fun at me you bloody well better use that because I couldn't bear it. Yeah I hear you say it but...I've lived for soddin every Buffy I've done everything. Done things with you I can't spell. I I've never been close to anyone least of all you till last night. All I did was hold you, watch you sleep and it was the best night of my life. So yeah I'm terrified.
Anya On Oxygen Tanks
They'd only be used if something big was attacking and then we could shove one down their throat and blow them up like Roy Schieder did with the shark in Jaws.
Anya On Humans
I guess I was new at being around humans before. Now I've seen al ot more. Gotten to know people. Seen what they're capable of. I guess I just realize how amazingly screwed up they all are. I mean really, really screwed up in a monumental fashion. They have no purpose that unites them so they drift around blundering through life until they die which they they know is coming yet every single one of them is surprised when it happens to them. They're incapable of thinkign about what they want beyond the moment. They kill each other which is clearly insane. And yet here's the thing when it's something that really matters they fight. I mean they're lame morons for fighting but they do. They never never quit so I guess I'll keep fighting too.
The Guardian
I'd forgotten. I'd forgotten how young you would be. Comes with waiting. Mind plays tricks. I see you've found our weapon. One of many well a time was now I'm alone in the world. Nope I'm as real as you just well let me put it this way I look good for my age. I've been waiting. You pulled it out of the rock. I was one of those who put it in there. A weapon. A scythe forged in secrecy for one like you who...I'm sorry what's your name? No really? We forged it in secrecy and kept it hidden from the Shadow Men who..Ah yes then you know. And they became the Watchers and the Watchers watched the Slayers but we were watching them. Guardians women who want to help and protect you. We forged this centuries ago halfway around the world. Forged there then it was put to use right here to kill the last pure demon that walked upon the earth. The rest were already driven under and then there were men here and then there were monks and then there was a town and now there was you and the scythe remained hidden. We hid too. We had to until now. We're the last surprise. That is really up to you. This is a powerful weapon but you already have weapons. Use it wisely and perhaps you can beat back the rising darkness one way or the other it can only mean an end is truly near.
Dearest Dawn
Don't be angry with Xander he only did what I told him to do. This isn't the place for either of you. Please know that I love you and that everything I do is for you. I promised once to show you this beautiful world and I'm gonna do everything I can do to make that happen.
Buffy On Things Making Sense
You know in the midst of all this insanity a couple of things are actually starting to make sense and the guy thing...I always figured there was something wrong withme. You know because I couldn't make it work. Maybe I'm not supposed to. Because ok I'm cookie dough. I'm not not done baking. I'm not finished becoming whatever the hell it is I'm gonna turn out to be. If I make it through this and the next thing and the next and maybe one day I turn around and realize I'm ready. I'm cookies and then you know if I want someone to eat or enjoy warm, delicious cookie me then that's fine. That'll be then. When I'm done.
Party in my eye socket and everyones invited. Sometimes I shouldn't say words. Xand
The First Back Again For More Scary Talking
Pretty ain't he? No you killed him right good and proper. Terrible loss. This man was my good right arm. Course it don't pain me too much. Don't need an arm I got an army. Daily our numbers swell but then you do have a army of your own. Some thirty odd pimply faced girls don't know the pointy end of a stake. Maybe I should cal this off. I will overrun this earth. And when my army outnumbers the humans on this earth the scales will tip and I will be made flesh.
Good Show
It's more than that..Buffy what you said it flys in the face of everything we've every generation's ever done. I think it's bloody brilliant. If you want my opinion.
Pep Talk One Million And One
I hate this. I hate being here. I hate that you have to be here. I hate that there's evil, that I was chosen to fight it. I wish a whole lot of the time that I hadn't been. I know a lot of you wish that I hadn't been either. This isn't about wishes. This is about choices. I believe that we can beat this evil not when it comes, now when its army is ready now. Tomorrow morning I'm opening the seal. I'm going down into the Hellmouth and I'm finishing this once and for all. Right now you're asking yourselves, "What makes this different? What makes us anything more than a bunch of girls being picked off one by one?" It's ture none of you have the power that Faith and I do. So here's the part where you make a choice.
Faith On Men
Sorry if it seemed I was blowing you off the other day. I was just trying to you know blow you off. It's nothing person. It's just after I get bouncy with a guy there's not that much more I need to know about him. Way of the world.
Guy looks at me let's just say his priorities shift.
Robin On Their Night Together
And for the record our little encounter didn't exactly change my world. No, no no it was nice enough you know and you're very enthused and I think with a little more experience you...
Please I'm so much prettier than you.
Kennedy Believes In Her Girl
So you're gonna make it through this. No matter how dark it gets because now you're my way.
Smack down on little red riding hood this could get ugly. Xander
Could this possibly get uglier. I used to be a highly respected Watcher now I'm a wounded dwarf with the mystical strength of a doiley. I wish I could sleep. Giles
It's Better To Pee Before Battle.
Robin Gives The Tour Of Sunnydale High
Welcome to Sunnydale High. There's no running in the halls. No yelling. No gum chewing. Apart from that there's only one rule if they move kill it.
Ok civiillians if the vampires get upstairs we have three areas they can get through to another building leading into the sewers.
1. Down the hall in the atrium. Xander and Dawn
2. The north hall here. Anya and Andrew
3. And the primary target through the lounge straight to the science building. Now odds are most of them will head there. Giles and Robin
So that leaves me and the Dungeon Master in the north hall.
We will defend it with his very life. Anya
Use Andrew as a human shield.
Andrew's Speech
I just want to say how proud I am to die for this very special cause with you guys. There's some people I'd like to thank both good and evil. Um a shout out to my brother Tucker who gave me the inspiration to summon demons and also...
Spike On His Fabulous Accessory
Not mean to be a buzz kill luv but my fabulous accessory isn't exactly tingling with the power. I'm getting zero juice here and I look like Elizabeth Taylor.
The Choice
So here's the part where you can make a choice. What if you could have that power now? In every generation one Slayer is born because a bunch of men who died thousands of years ago made up that rule. They were powerful men. This woman is more powerful than all of them combined. So I say we change the rule. I say my power should be our power. Tomorrow Willow will use the essence of the scythe to change our destiny. From now on every girl in the world who might be a Slayer will be a Slayer. Every girl who could have the power will have the power. Can stand up will stand up. Slayers every one of us. Make your choice. Are you ready to be strong?
That was nifty. Willow after doing the spell
Anya's Thoughts On The Battle
Oh god I'm terrified. I didn't think I mean I I just figured you'd be terrified and I'd be sarcastic about it.
Andrew's Advice
Picture happy things a lake, candy canes. bunnies.
Anya Gears Up
Bunnies hoppy floppy bunnies.
Spike's Final Words
Oh bollux! I can feel it Buffy. My soul it's really there kinda stings. Go on then. No you've beaten them back. It's to me to do the clean up. Gotta move lamb. I think it's fair to say that school's out for bloody summer. I mean it. Gotta do this. (Buffy: I love you.) No you don't but thanks for saying it. Now go. I want to see how it ends.
Looks like the Hellmouth is officially closed for business. Faith
There's another one in Cleveland to spoil the moment. Giles
We saved the world. Xander
We changed the world. I can feel them Buffy all over Slayers are awakening everywhere. Willow
Red Riding Hood
The Dungeon Master
With his own cape
Unable to sleep
So plays a game
With silly British man
Also Xander and Amanda
Thinking it was his last
He went in anyway to fight
The little monkey was ready
With a sword in hand
Made it through
His life was spared
By a most selfless act
Should have been dead
Instead he lives another day
Died A Hero
Went through serious changes
From demon to human
Back again but it wasn't right
Went back to being human
Claiming no love for humans
Her actions proved otherwise
Instead of running off
Like she did last time around
Standing up for the fight
With sword in hand she fought
Saving the little monkey boy
Giving her life for his
She won't be forgotten
I'm Staying
Turned the car around
Gave him a zap
Not gonna run and hide
Up for the fight
With a kick to the shin
She made her point clear
Junior Watcher she may be
She was ready to fight
With Xander by her side
They dusted the vamps that came by
One Eyed Guy
Patch or not he's up to the fight
Fighting in yet another battle
Laying a trap for the vamps
Dusting them with sunlight
No ouchie end of a sword
Came out live and kicking
That's my girl
Upon hearing the bad news
Always have a special place in his heart
For that very strange yet lovable girl
She Came Through
A little scared at the thought
Not sure if able to handle it
Going beyond the darkest darkness
With words of encouragement and love
From her lady love
Does what needs to be done
You are a Goddess
Makes them all Slayers
That was nifty
Came through with flying colors
No Longer The Only
With the shiny axe
A decision was made
Turn all the potentials
Make them all Slayers
Using the essence of the scythe
Pouring out the power
To all the girls of the world
Injured in battle and down
She got a second wind
Slicing right and left
It was time to go
Final words to Spike
Wanting him to come with
She declares her love
Leaving him behind
Running for the bus
More or less intact
No longer the only one
A chance at a normal life
Now she can finish baking
Once Respected
There as always
Once a respected Watcher
Reduced to playing D & D
A broken down dwarf is he
Unable to sleep a wink
Before the big fight
Slashing left and right
He comes through
With un unwanted reminder
Of that Hellmouth in Cleveland
A Winner
Embraced her Slayerness
Fighting on the right side
Came through without a scratch
A chance to start a new life
Maybe find out if Robin is the one
But first a most important thing
At least a week of sleep is required
Before any decisions get made
Resisted the temptation to push Giles in
Thanks for the reminder
Of yet another Hellmouth Goodbye Sunnydale
With flashes of bright light
Spike's necklace kills the nasties
Blowing the school up
Town gets sucked down
Running across roof tops
Buffy caught up with the bus
Landing on top
Suddenly it all stops
Sunnydale is gone
Nothing left but a pile of dust
Everything was lost
No more Bronze to go to
Or the Expresso Pump
For a capaccino or to hear Giles sing
Nothing at all is left
Even the sign fell in
The world's still turning
Hellmouth officially out of business
There's always the one in Cleveland
The First was finally smacked down
A True Champion
After years of killing
Changes in him took place
With a rocky start
Helping for money at first
Looking for a good spot of violence
He became a new man
Earned his soul back
Crazy in the head for abit
He finally made it through
Pulled himself together
With a few bumps along the way
A champion most worthy
Earning the right of wearing the necklace
Willing to make the ultimate sacrifice
Before the end came to this warrior
I love you what he most wanted to hear
His hand went up in flames
Sunnydale was sucked into the ground
Nothing left but a big old hole of dust
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