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The Killer In The Backseat
There was a woman driving home alone at night and she stops for gas. The attendant fills the tank and takes her credit card. He has a strange look on his face and asks her to come inside with him to check out some problem with her credit card. She goes inside and the attendant locks the door and tells her that there's a guy in the back seat with a meat cleaver.
The Licked Hand
There was this girl who had a dog that would lie under her bed. Whenever she wanted to know if everything was okay, she would put her hand under the bed. If the dog licked her hand that meant that everything was all right. One night the girl was home all alone, and she was in bed. She heard a noise like a dog panting. She put her hand under the bed and the dog licked it. Later that night she wanted to get something when she got to the kitchen she heard drip, drip drip. She went over to the sink, but the tap wasn't dripping. In the sink, though, there was a bloody knife. After she saw the knife, she backed up and backed into the fridge. Again she heard, drip, drip, drip. She opened the fridge door, and out swung her butchered dog. On the dog there was a note that said, Humans can lick too.
La Llorana
Many years ago there was a young mother living in a remote valley in the foothills of Southern California. Her husband left her many months before and she did all that she could to provide for her three children. Times were hard however, and she eventually lost her will to go on. Soon she took to locking herself in her bedroom for days on end refusing to come out for anyone, including her children. Then one night after days of going without food her youngest began wailing uncontrollably. That promted the eldest child who was about to turn six, to pound on his mother's door, pleading for her to come out. Instead she ordered him away screaming, "Leave me along! I want to be alone!" He didn't listen however, and all three began to shriek and wail. Finally hours later, the woman ripped the door in a sudden burst of anger, screaming, "I said shut up! Shut up!" seeing the fury in her eyes, the eldest tried to escape out the back door, but got caught in the latch. That gave his mother the chance to grab him by the hair, yank his nexk back, and in a moment of pure, unbridled rage, with a large kitchen knife slit his throat from ear to ear. "You see what happens to naughty little boys?" she screamed at the other two. Then she attacked them in the same way, chopping and hacking away at both of them until they were decimated. Hours later, after she had poured their remains into a large gunnysack, she carried the entire bloody mess down to the water's edge in a wheelbarrow. Some say that she waded out into the water as far as she could go, while others say that she climbed into a small boat. In any case, she dumped the remains into the sea and waited for every last piece to disappear. No one saw the woman again after that. Apparently she locked herself in her room for weeks, while trying to convince herself that it was all a bad, horriifc dream. Then one day, after regaining her courage, she decided to go into the kitchen and make herself something to eat. And that's when she realized that she hadn't been dreaming at all. Because there across the walls and ceiling, across the tables and chairs, and across the windows and floor were large puddles of blood in bold, explosive marks. Horrifiied, she ran outside and down the road. She ran as far and as fast as she could in no particular direction with tears flooding her eyes and choking her throat. Finally after several miles, she collapsed to the ground out of sheer exhaustion. By chance she stumbled upon a knife that happened to be lying in the grass. Still hysterical she picked it up, sqeezed her eyes shut, clenched her teeth and with a single sweeping gesture, plunged the blade into her chest. All at once, she came face to face with God. "Please, Father," she begged. "If you bring my children the love that they deserve. I will never forgive myself for how I mistreated them and I will accept your gravest punishment." God eventually agreed to let her return to the living, provided that she find all the pieces of her children within a nine year period. If unsuccessful, however she would have to take the lives of three children but only when they reached the age of her eldest son. Otherwise she'd remain in purgatory forever. From that day on she began haunting the beaches, lakes, and riverbeds for miles around always in a long flowing black gown, and always near the water's edge, where she hoped to find pieces of her children. Locals began referring to her as La Llorona or the Weeping Lady, and many believed that she was the very incarnation of evil. Sadly, she never found her children even after years of searching. So when she happened to come across a young family with three young children of their own, she believed that her forturne had taken a turn for the better. She returned to the family's home the following day, and impressed upon the young parents the importance of showering love upon their beautiful children. "For one never knows when God will decide to take them away," she said tearfully before spinning a tragic tale of her own children. The young parents felt sorry for her and offered her a room in their guesthouse, "We've been looking for a nanny for months," the mother confessed. "Perhaps you could take care of the children too." The woman thanked them profusely, and promised that she would take care of their children. "As if they were my own," she said. All went well for the first couple of months. The children liked their new nanny, and she treated them with genuine affection. So when it came time to celebrate the eldest child's sixth birthday, no one seemed to notice as she carried the sleeping child right past his bedroom and up the stairs to the attic over the barn. About an hour later, after everyone had fallen asleep, she caressed the boy's forehead softly while whispering, "I'm sorry" over and over. Then she placed a blade to his neck and slit his throat. The woman struck again the following year, killing the middle child in the exact same way, and then once again two years later on the youngest child's birthday. She failed on her third attempt howeverm because unbeknownst to her, the family had placed scouts throughout the house, and one of them spotted her carrying the child to the attic. Acting quickly, several guards jumped her before she could get to the child. They couldn't wrestle the knife away from her however, and during the struggle, she freed herself momentarily, and plunged the knife into her chest. Just as before, she came face to face with God and pleaded for his forgiveness. But this time God laughed. He laughed long and hard. Then he peeled off a mask to reveal that he wasn't God after all but the Devil. "Three children," he chuckled. "Ages 6, 6, and 6...Welcome to Hell, my dear."
Chumash Stories
Coyote's Stone Stew
Once Coyote was traveling along and he was very hungry. And he saw a woman and thought to himself, "How can I trick this woman into feeding me?" The woman did not know that Coyote was a great trickster. Coyote thought to himself, "I know! I will tell her that I am going to cook some stones and she is going to be very surprised!" And so he walked up to the woman and said, "I can make a fine stew out of stones." The woman asked, "How are you going to do that?" And Coyote said, "Well, watch me!" He asked for a frying pan, and he put some rocks in it. Then he asked the woman for a little lard, and then he asked for a little meat, and then a little garlic, and a little tomato and onion, and some salt. And he put each of the ingredients into the pan. And the woman was astonished at Coyote's way of cooking. He said, "That's my way of making stew!" He then ate all of the stew, leaving only the rocks.
Heron And Fox
Once upon a time Heron invited Fox to dinner. Heron made some sipitis and put it in a basket with a long neck because he had a long neck himself. He also served some to Fox in a tall dish. Fox was sitting there wondering how he was going to eat it. And Heron said, "Why don't you eat some?" Fox replied that he didn't feel like eating. He thought that Heron was making fun of him. He thought to himself, "I'll invite Heron to dinner, and fix it so that he can't eat." And in a few days Fox invited Heron to dinner. Fox made a lot of sipitis and poured it on a flat rock. And Heron was wondering, "How can I eat it with its spread all over the rock?" He couldn't eat it, and Fox finished it all up. Heron went home hungry.
The Dog Girl
When animals were people, there was once a family of dogs with many children in it little dogs. They were poor and got along as best they could. The little dogs grew up, scrabbling for bones to eat, for they were very poor. Then one day one of the children, a girl, climbed a hill and saw a village on the other side. There were many houses and many people, and there was a shiny field where they were playing ball. The people saw her standing on the hill and beckoned to her to come down, but she wouldn't. When she returned home that afternoon and told her mother what had happened, her mother said, "Stupid girl, why didn't you go? They might have given you something!" "Oh, I'll go tomorrow," the girl replied. "Comb yourself first," said her mother. The next morning the poor girl combed herself and said, "Now I'll go." She left. When she arrived at the top of the hill the people saw her and called out, "Come down, come down." She went down the hill and reached the village. A young man saw her and liked her, for she was a pretty girl. "I want her for my wife!" "Fine," said the mother. She went to the girl and told her what her son had said. The girl replied, "Well, I can't say yes or no. I'll go and ask my mother." They gave her food to eat, and after she had eaten she left. She arrived home and told her mother what had happened. The old woman saidm "Ah, daughter, you've had good luck, very good luck. But one thing I must say: behave well, very well, and everything will be fine." "All right, mother," the girl replied. She combed herself, said goodbye to her brothers, and then left. She reached the village, and she and the boy were married. She lived in the captain's house. They dressed her in fine clothing: she had a many-stranded necklace, a bracelet, earrings, a basket-hat, and an otter-skinned apron. She had everything, and she got along fine with her husband. But it didn't last, for she was in the habit of eating excrement lying around outside the house. She had plenty to eat, but she was a dog and used to it. One day her husband's younger sister saw her and ran to the mother-in-law. "Mother why is my brother's wife eating filth?" asked the sister. "Be quiet!" exclaimed the old woman. But the dog girl heard what had been said, and she ran away into the mountains, crying. When she was high in the mountains she began to sing:
If only I had worn my bracelet
My many stranded necklace
My earrings
My basket-hat
If only I had brought my apron
I would be happy.
Having sung this, she went on home. Her mother was surprised. "Why did you get angry and leave?" she asked. The girl finally told her mother what happened. She lived at home ever after.
Vulture Stones
When the vulture lays eggs in her nest, find the nest and steal one egg. Boil the egg hard and then return it to the nest. Do all this when the vulture doesn't see you. She sits on the eggs and after a while discovers that something is wrong with one of them. She then strats off for the mountains. All this time you are watching carefully. She comes back with a rock and places it right against the egg and the chick hatches at one. As soon as the vulture leaves the nest, you go ank take the stone, for with that stone you can get whatever you want. You can get hidden things that are pretty far away, though not too far away. There was a man who had a stepdaughter by the name of Carlotta who was wealthy in her own right. A man wanted to marry her, but she refused him, and so he sent for someone to come and harm her. The fellow came and dug a hole in the wall and concealed a little bag of poison in it so that it could not be seen at all. Pretty soon Carlotta was sick in bed. Her stepfather, Blas, gave a fiesta and invited people to come in the hope that somone would be able to discover what was wrong with her. An old man from San Diego by the name of Juan Jose came and brought with him a stone from the nest of a pajoro pinto. As he entered the room he examined the walls with the aid of this stone. Then he asked for a chair and a crowbar, and when they were brought he got up on the chair and knocked a hole in the adobe and found the concealed sack. He took the bag and immediately threw it into some water. "This is what caused the illness," he said. Then he addressed those present, saying, "Do you wish to know the names of the various people of this mission who are harming people? Come with me." They followed him and in the willows a little way north of there they came across two men making herbs. These two men were discovered by means of the vulture stone. The two men were taken prisoner and they all returned to the house, where Juan Jose said to all present, "You can either chastise them or burn them." The men were set free after they had solemnly promised never to make herbs again.
The authors of this stories are unknown to me.
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