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Slayer Runnerups
The Second
Kendra
A new Slayer comes to town
Off to a bad start
Trying to kill a fellow Slayer
Who isn't dead after all
Now that's a no no
Called the Pink Ranger
A bit overeager
Things smooth over
Becomes a friend
Raised by her Watcher
Led a sheltered life
Tragically struck down
The Third
Faith
The next to be called to duty
Activated at the death of the one before
Slutorama on the dance floor
Full of slaying tales
Single femaling Buffy
Wowing her friends, Watcher, and Mom
Butting her nose where it doesn't belong
Sneaks into town with bad guys following
Not a potential cover girl for Sanity Fair
She takes a human life and doesn't care
Crosses over to the dark side with ease
The Bogus Watcher
Gwendolyn
Arrived in town causing a stir
Seemed on the level
All British and uptight
Became Faith's new Watcher
Her true intentions were darker
Not sent by the Council after all
Booted out on her rear
Hunger for the glove
Craving the dark power
Caused a rift between the Slayers
Giles once again knocked out
Went out in a flash
The New Watcher
Wesley
Sent by the Council
Not evil this time around
A genuine article
But a total weenie
Hasn't a single clue
Screams like a woman
Messed up big time
Tried to help but got knocked out
Left town with his head down in shame
Mom
Blind to the truth
Takes her daughter to a new place
No clue about her kid's identity
Finds out and flips out big time
Kicks her daughter out in anger
Time calmed her down
Acceptance finally came
Wants To Be Alone
Off to LA all alone
Working in a diner
Trying to forget
Haunted by dreams
Of the man she loves
That she sent to Hell
Met a demon named Ken
Who was sucking kids dry
In a place called Hell
Rescued the slaves
Kicked serious demon ass
Decided to come back home
Helpful Tip: If you order peach pie make sure there are actual peaches in it. This applies to any flavor.
The Scoobies Mission Statement: Don't get killed.
Cordy's Summer
Oh I can't believe you brought that up. Las Palmas was a nightmare resort they ordered you around and make you have organized fun. And I use sarcastic quote marks. Plus the fact that there are cockroaches in Mexico big enough to own property.
Larry On Football
This is our year. I'm telling you best football season ever. I'm so in shape. I'm a rock. It's all about egg whites. If we can focus, keep discipline and not have quite as many mysterious deaths Sunnydale is gonna rule.
Look I don't mean to poop the party here it's just you get your hopes all up and then it's just a fat raspberry and I feel bad. Xander
Come Home To Family Home!
We're not just interested in feeding the body. You just might find something you're missing.
Helpful Tip: Helping people is great and all but make sure that's acutally what they do before you go to some place with some dorky guy that may seem harmless but in reality is a football headed demon.
Ken's Spiel
Then why are you here? This is not a good place for a kid to be. You get old fast here. The thing that drains the life out of you is despair. I mean kids come here and they got nothing to go home to. It's a last stop for a lot of them. It shouldn't have to be that way.
Xander's Thoughts
Oh I know what she's doing gabbing to all her friends abou her passionate affair with Pedro the cabana boy laughing about me thinking about how she still might have feelings about me.
But hope is a real thing just like despair. Your hope can fill up a part of you that's missing. Ken
What Buffy Wants
I don't want any trouble. I just want to be alone and quite in a room with a chair and a fireplace and a tea cosy. I don't even know what a tea cosy is but I want one. Instead I keep getting trouble which I'm more than willing to share.
Ken's Baptism
We come to this station wash away the past. Go ahead kneel. We let the water run over the sin and the pain and the uncertainty.
Helpful Tip: Don't get near the black icky looking thing that dork boy wants to baptize you in since it's likely to be a portal to a Hell dimension and that's never any fun.
Buffy Goes Undercover
You know I just I woke up and looked in the mirror and thought hey what's with all the sin. I need to change. I I'm dirty. I'm I'm bad with the sex and the envy and that that loud music us kids listen to nowadeays. I just suck at undercover.
Ken On Hell
What is Hell but the total absence of hope. The substance the tactle proof of despair.
Welcome To Hell
You work and you live that is all. You do not laugh or complain or do anything besides work. Whatever you thought whatever you were does not matter. You are no one now. You mean nothing. Who are you?
You got guts I think I'd like to slice you open and play with them. Ken
Didn't anyone ever warn you about playing with pointy sticks? It's all fun and games until somebody loses an eye. Buffy
Check it out the Watcher's back on the clock and just when you're thinking career change maybe become a looker or a seer. Xander
Back Home
She came back home
Trying to get back to normal
Getting the brush of
Plans of a dinner
Turns into a wild party
With a roaring fight
Each have their say
Cordy actually tries to help
Lecture among the silence
Zombies come to play
Things all worked out
Buffy On School
A girls school so now it's jackets, kilts, and no boys. Care to throw in a little foot binding.
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What Cordy Brings
I'm the dip. What onion dip, stirring not cooking. It's what I bring.
Oz Defines Party Types
Gathering- Brie is served, Mellow song stylings.
Shindig- Dip is served, Less mellow song stylings, Perhaps a large amount of malt beverage.
Hootnanny- Chock full of hoot with a little bit of nanny.
Zombi
Zombe or Zombie in voodoo, a person believed to have been raised from the grave by a houngan (sorcerer) for purposes of enslavement. The zombi is used by its master to perform heavy manual labor and to implement evil schemes.
Voodoo
Voodoo from the God Vodon. Religious beliefs and practices, African in origin and also held by some Carribean peoples, particularly in Haiti. Similar observances are found in Jamaica, under the name pocomania, and in parts of the United States and in the Guianas. A highly developed voodooistic religion known as candomble is found in Brazil. The basic features of voodoo were brought from slaves from W Africa (particularly those from what is now Benin), where the name originated and where the religion is still practiced. Voodoo contends that all of nature is controlled by spiritual forces which must be placated through offerings and animal sacrifice; esctatic trances and magical practices play an important role in its ritual. In the new world Christian elements were soon introduced; the African deities became identified with various saints. The magical aspects of voodoo are related to beliefs and practices found throughout the world. Although attempts to suppress it, voodoo continues to flourish.
Source: Columbia Encyclopedia
You just can't bury stuff Buffy it'll come right back up to get ya. Xander
Generally speaking when scary things get scared not good. Xander
Willow's Witchy Adventures
I mean I'm not a full fledge witch that takes years. I just did a couple Pagan blessings and a teeny glamour to hide a zit. It has. I tried to communicate witht he spirit world, and I so wasn't ready for that. It's like being pulled apart inside. Plus I blew the power for our whole block. Big score. Me too, I really freaked out. It's ok understand you having to bail I can forgive that. I have to make allowances for what you're going through and be a grown up about it.
Senior Year
The final year of high school
Leaving campus is now legal
A twinge of fear
What if the rules change?
Took those first steps
The taste of freedom
Heading for the picnic
Food under the sun
With all the gang
Lunch is served
By the very bored Buffy
Preparing to meet his ugliness
Getting back into school
Willow On Being A Senior
I'm giddy. It's the freedom. As seniors we can go off campus now for lunch. It's no longer cutting it's legal. Heck it's expected. Wow it's also a big step forward a senior moment one that has to be savored. You can't just rush into this you know. Oh no I can't oh but no what if they change the rule without telling? What if they're lying in wait to arrest me and and throw me in detention and mar my unblemished record.
The Slayer I'm gonna rip her spine from her body and I'm going to eat her heart and suck the marrow from her bones. Kakistos
Willow On Giles
Have you ever noticed though when he is mad but he's too English to saying anything he makes that weird cluck cluck sound with his tongue?
Scott Hope
A guy that captured Buffy's eye
Doesn't like lying
It's bad for the soul
Bonus points from Oz
Because he used the word mosey
Charming and sweet
A gift of friendship
Struck a nerve
A reminder of the past
That must be put to rest
Making that leap
Going out on a date with this guy
Scott Can Not Tell A Lie
I'm sorry I'm a bad liar. It's not good for the soul or the skin actually makes me blush. Don't you love this song? Well would you like to...Ok you know what I'm just going to go stand by the dance floower if you change your mind you can mosey on over. And then if you don't mosey no harm no foul right.
Faith's Vamp Tales
Full summer and it was like the worst heat wave so it's about 118 degrees and I'm sleeping without a stich on, and all of a sudden, I hear this screaming outside. So I go tearing out stark nude and this church bus broke down and there's these three vamps feasting on half the Baptists in South Boston. So I waste the vamps, and the preacher comes up and he's hugging me like there's no tomorrow, when all of a sudden, the cops pull up and they arrested us both.
God I could eat a horse? Isn't it crazy how slaying just always makes you hungry and horny?
Alligator Story
Oh there's this big daddy vampire out of Missouri, who used to keep them as pets. So he's got me rastling one of 'em ok. The thing must have been twelve feet long and I'm you know...Well the alligator was. I tell ya I never had more trouble than that damn vamp.
Giles On The Watchers Retreat
There's a Watchers retreat every year in the Cotswolds. It's a lovely spot, very serene. There's horse riding and hiking and hunting and lectures and discussions. It's a great honor to be invited or so I'm told.
If I'd have known they came that young and cute I would have requested a transfer. Faith
Giles On The Retreat
They're probably sitting down to a nightcap. I wonder if they still kayak. I used to love a good kayak. You see they don't even consider...
Kakistos is Greek. It means worst of the worst. It's also the name of a vampire so old that his hands and feet are cloven.
Giles there are two things I don't believe in coincidence and leprechauns. Buffy
Leprechaun
Irish fairy represented as a tiny old man. Leprechauns are mischieveous and elusive creatures, said to possess buried crocks of gold, the location of which they will reveal if forced.
Source: Columbia Encyclopedia
Scott Gives It One Last Try
Think of this as my last ditch effort I realize one more is gonna qualify as stalking. I've given a lot of thought some might say too much thought to to how I might be part of your life. It begins with a conversation. We all know this. Maybe over a cup of coffee, or maybe at the Buster Keaton festival playing on State Street all this weekend. Keaton is key.
Helpful Tip: Sometimes you need a bigger stake to dust the vamp especially if he's all cloven and stuff.
Buffy Fesses Up
Angel was cured. When I killed him, Angel was cured. Your spell worked at the last minute Will. I was about to take him out, and um somethng went through him and he was Angel again. He, he didn't remember anything that he'd done. He jsut held me. Um, but it it was too late, and I had to. So I told him that I loved him and I kissed him and I killed him.
Unexpected
Dealing with the loss
She needed to let go
Saying goodbye to her love
Leaving the ring
The unexpected occurs
Appearing out of nowhere
He suddenly appears
Back from Hell
For reasons unknown
Comes once again
Seeking his redemption
One night after supper, the lead dog showed up a snowshoe rabbit. The dog lay down low to the race, his body flashing forward leap by leap. He was sounding the deeps of his nature and the parts of his nature that were deeper than he, going back into the wombs of time. The rabbit could not...
Will On The Call Of The Wild
It's good and very wolfy. It seems to soothe the savage beast. Except for the parts about rabbits. It seems to make him a little over excited.
Helpful Tip: Acutally open the book and read it instead of using it as a pillow. It won't seep into your head while you're dreaming and your wolfy bud may break free while you're in dreamland.
Faith On Men
All men are beasts. It's not cynical I mean it's realistic. Every guy from Manimal down to Mr I love the English Patient has beast in him. And I don't care how sensitive they act. They're all still just in it for the chase.
Oz On The Marching Jazz Band
Oh I can't take the pressure. It's not the music that's hard it's the marching. Yeah but since you know the best jazz is improvisational people going off in all directions, banging int floats scary.
Buffy Summers Reporting For Sanity
2:00 Miss Summers. We're not gonna be friends. You have friends right I hope. Friends are a good thing they like you. They agree with ya tell you what you want to hear. That's not what you need now. What you need is a trained not too crazy professional who will always give you his honest opinion. Which I offere. Have a seat. Look Buffy any person grown up, shrink, pope, any person who claims to be totally sane is either lying or not very bright. I mean everyone has problems. Everybody has demons right. Excellent. So the hope I bring you is demons can be fought. People can change. You can change. Now your turns lets start with why you ran away. Bore me. All good things but still you're bringing me in at the end of the movie.
Changed. He got mean and you didn't stop loving him. Look lots of people lose themselves in love it's no shame they write songs about it. The hitch is you can't stay lost. Sooner or later you have to get back to yourself. If you can't then love becomes your master and you're just its dog.
Xander On Oz
Oz does not eat people. It's more werewolf play. You know I bat you around a little bit like a cat toy. I have harmless wolf fun. Is it Oz's fault that you know side effect people get cut to ribbons and maybe then I'll take a little nip? I'm not helping am I?
Beasties
Escaped from his cage
Maybe killed someone
Trying to figure it out
Back from Hell
A wild beast
Locked up him
Another beast emerges
Student goes crzy
With his glowy green potion
The one behind all the deaths
Saved by her love
Finally recognizes her
We're doing crime here. You don't sneak up during crime. Xander
Helpful Tip: It's not a good idea to listen to headphones while wolf sitting because you could punch someone. Anyone but another Slayer would be knocked out cold.
Giles On Hell Dimensions
There's no record of anyone returning from a demon dimension once the gate was closed. I I can't imagine how it could happen or why. I really can't say. From what is known about dimensions it would suggest a world of brutal torment and time moves quite differently there so...I takes someone of extraordinary will and character to survive that and retain any semblance of sanity. Most likely he'd be a monster. Maybe not. From my experience there are two types of monsters first can be redeemed or more importantly wants to be redeemed. The second is deoivd of humanity cannot respond to reason or love.
Manic-depressive Disorder
Or bipolar disorder, severe mental disorder involving manic episodes that are usually accompanied by episodes of depression. The term was introduced by the German psychiatrist Emil Krapelin in 1896. The manic phase of the disorder is characterized by an abnormally elevated or irritable mood, grandiosity, sleeplessness, extravengence and a tendency toward irrational judgement. During the depressed phase the person tends to appear lethargic and withdrawn, shows a lack of concentration, and expresses feelings of worthlessness, self-blame and guilt. The dual character of manic-depressive disorder has given it the name bipolar disorder, in contrast to the unipolar depression symptomatic of the majority of mood disorders. The symptoms range in intensity and pattern and may not be recognized at first. Individuals suffering from bipolar disorder may have long periods in their lives without episodes of mania or depression, but manic depressives have the highest suicide rate of any group with a psychological disorder.
Source: Columbia Encyclopedia
Helpful Tip: Make sure that the guy has a pulse before you start spilling.
It's tricky covering a fresh shiner like that. You know what works don't get hit. Buffy
It's just that you never really know what's going on inside somebody. I mean you think if you care about them but the never really do. Scott
Night came on and the full moon rose high over the trees lighting the land until it lie bathed in ghostly day and the strain of the primitive remained alive and active faithfulness and devotion things born of fire and root were his. Yet he retained his wildness and wilyness. And from the depths of the forest the call still sounded.
You wanna talk fun public bus you meet the funnest people. Xander
Homecoming
Two battle it out
Wanting to be queen
A rift between the two
Wanting that one moment
Saying that she was there
Hunted for sport
A total Slayerfest
With Cordy by her side
Turns out to be a help
Flips a mean spatula
Helpful Tip: Don't underestimate the power of the spatula and flinging insults.
Buffy's Prom Queen Awakens
I'm gonna show you how it's done. I'm gonna run for Homecoming Queen and I'm going to win. Sorry Cordy but you have no idea who you're messing with. I'm not talking about the Slayer I'm talking about Buffy. You've awaked the prom queen within and that crown is going to be mine.
Xander On His And Willow's Future
Yeah we should face it Will you and I are gonna be in neighboring rest homes while I come over so you could adjust my uh my uh oh I can't think of anything that's not really gross so...
Xander On Their Kissing
It's a clothes fluke that's what it is and there will be no more fluking.
Buffy On Campaigning
A campaign's like a war it's won or lost in the trenches. Holly, Michelle, and our real competiton Cordelia have big head starts. Speaking of big heads if I had a watermelon as big as Cordelia's I'd be rich. Waits for laugh. Ok making fun of the competiton only makes me seem petty. Now this is just like any other popularity contest. I've done this before the only difference being this time I'm not actually popular although I'm not exactly unpopular. A lot of people came to my welcome home party. Good point. Ok here's the plan Willow I need you to make a database see who's for us, who's on the fence, and where our real crisis areas are. Oz you take the French, the musicians, those not normally inclined to vote. Xander....
Helpful Tips: Don't stab your best friend in the back especially for the rich bitch. If you feel guilt over a stolen kiss don't overcompensate. If sometone says that you have their vote thank them. Guilt the best friend into getting into the competition's database.
I'm just in Hell. I mean I I thought being a senior at last and having a girlfriend at last would be a good thing. Now why wouldn't that be a good thing? Xander
Dear Cordelia and Buffy
We won't be riding to the dance with you. We want you to work out your problems because our friendships are more important than who wins Homecoming Queen.
Your Friends
P.S. The limo was not cheap work it out.
Slayerfest 98
Hello ladies welcome to Slayerfest 98. What is a Slayerfest you ask? As in most of life there's the hunter and the hunted. Can you guess where you fall. From the beginning of this tape you have exactly thirty seconds no it's seventeen now to run for your lives. Faith, Buffy have a nice day.
Cordy's Not Safe
Safe I'm not safe. I'm gonna die. I'm never goint to be crowned homecoming queen. I'm never gonna graduate from high school. I'm never gonna know if its real between me and Xander or if it's just some temporary insanity that made me think I loved h im and now I'm never gonna get a chance to tell him.
Cordy On Xander
Well he grows on you like a chia pet.
Helpful Tip: A spatula can come in handy.
Buffy On Being Homecoming Queen
I thought Homecoming Queen; I could open a yearbook someday and say I was there. I went to high school and for just one minute I got to live in the world. And there'd be proof. Proof that I was chosen for something other than this.
Cordy Flings The Insults
I hear you, you red necked moron. do you got a dress that goes with that hat? Rip out my innards, play with my eyeballs, boil my brain and eat it for brunch. Listen up needle brain we've taken out four of your cronies not to mention your girlfriend. Whatever! The point is I haven't even broken a sweat see in the end Buffy is just the runner up. I'm the queen you get me mad what do you think I'm going to do to you.
Band Candy
Selling chocolate bars
Raising money for the band
Has a strange side effect
All the grownups disappear
Leaving teens in their place
A most disturbing sight
Something happens between two
And on the police car too
Babies snatched away
For a very hungry demon
An ugly snake thing that was flamed
All is back to normal
The grownups emerge from their induced state
Xander On Chocolate
I like chocolate there is no bad here. I know these things are selling like hotcakes which is ironic cause the hotcakes really aren't moving. And it's fun to sell chocolate.
I'm bored and he's not here to give me credit for it. Cordy
Chocolate
General term for the products of the seeds of the cacao, or chocolate tree, used for making beverages or confectionery. The flavor of chocolate depends not only on the quality of the cocoa nibs (the remainder after the seeds are fermented, dried, and roasted) and the flavorings but also on a complex process of grinding, heating, and blending. The chocolate liquid formed in an intermediate stage is used in the confectionery trade as a covering for fruits, candies, or cookies, or the process may be continued and the resulting smooth mass of chocolate molded, cooled, and packaged as candy. It should be hard enough to snap when broken, have a mellow flow when melting, be free of gritty particles, and have a nice rich, dark color and an aromatic smell and flavor. A chocolate beverage was known to the Aztecs and through Spanish explorers found (c1500) found its way into Europe; the Maya may have made such a drink as early as 900 BC. In 1657 a shop was opened in London where chocolate was sold at luxury prices. It became a fashionable drink; many shops sprang up to become centers of political discussion and grow into famous clubs, such as the Cocoa Tree. Chocolate was first manufactured in the United States at Milton Lower Mills near Dorchester, MA in 1765. About 1876 M.D. Peter of Vevey Switzerland, perfected a process of making milk chocolate by combining the cocoa nib, sugar, fat, and condensed milk. The United States has the largest chocolate manufacturing industry.
Source: Columbia Encyclopedia
Willow that's a tree. You're a tree. Ms Barton
Willow
Common name for some members of the Salicaceae, a family of decidious trees and shurbs of worldwide distribution especially abundant from north temperate to artic areas. The family consists of two genera, Salix and Populus, both of which are propogated easily by cuttings, grow rapidly, and characteristically bear male and female flowers in catkins on separate plants. Many plants of the narrower-leaved willow genus (Salix) flourish in cold, wet grounds; willows grow farther north than any other woody angiosperm (flowering plant). The poplars (genus Populus) usually have heart shaped leaves or ovate leaves; they include the cottonwoods, aspens, and many species specifically named poplar. The cottonwoods (sometimes also called poplars) characteristically have seeds that are covered with fibrous coats so that when they are released at maturity they clump together in cottony balls. Cottonwoods were a welcome sight to the pioneers pushing westward, for they marked the streams in the otherwise treeless Great Plains. Some of the poplars, especially the aspens, have flattened leaf stalks that permit the pendulous leaves to quiver in the slightest breeze (hence the name quaking aspen). The quaking or golden aspen is a common deciduous tree of the mountains of the W United States; it is often the first tree to reforest burned over woodlands. Because the lumber of this family is so soft if finds little use except for paper pulp (mostly the polars), for charcoal, and especially in basketry and wickerwork (mostly the willows). The bushes and their twigs used in basketry are often called osiers. Willow buds and bark have also been used medicinally; the chemical predecessor of asprin was originally isolated from the bark of a willow. The trees are valuable in erosion control along riverbanks because of their rapid growth. Economically the family is most noted for its many species planted as ornaments e.g., the Lombardy and the silver or white poplars, now neutralized in North America from Eurasia; the weeping willow; indigenous to China; and the pussy willow of North America. Populus gileadensis, an ancient horticulture species whose original form is unknown, is one of the plants called balm of Gilead. Yellow poplar is a name sometimes used for the unrelated tulip tree of the magnolia family. Willows are classified in the division Magnoliophyta, class Magnoliopsida, order Salicales, family Salicaceae.
Source: Columbia Encyclopedia
Screw you I want candy. Joyce
There should be an age limit on lycra pants. Cordy
I don't get this the candy's supposed to make you feel all immature and stuff but I've had a ton and I don't feel any different. Never mind.
Helpful Tip: A phone is a good thing to use to smack the bad guy coming up behind you. Also it makes that great sound when the guy gets knocked out.
Buffy On The SAT's
There was just too much to deal with it was like nothing made sense anymore. The things that I thought I knew were just gone. I just felt so alone. Mostly the math. More SAT's is there really a point I could die before I even apply to college. Well let's just keep hope alive. Uh hey the way things were going be glad that's the worst that happened. At least I got to the two of you before you did something.
Martial Arts
Various forms of self-defense usually weaponless based on techniques developed in China, India, and Tibet. In modern times they have come into wide use for self-protection, as competitive sports, and for exercise. Juitsu teaches skills that enable one to overcome a bigger, stronger opponent. A popular style of Juitsu is Akido, which uses wrist, elbow, and sholder twists and graceful falls. It is noncompetitive and incorporates various spiritual concepts. Judo, a Japanese sport created in 1882 makes use of juitsu principles. Other popular forms of martial arts include kung fu, karate, and taekwondo, all of which emphasize blows with the feet and the side of the hand, and kendo, in which leather-covered bamboo "swords" are used. Judo and taekwondo are Olympic sports. Capoeira, a dancelike Brazilian discipline whose movements are peformed to rhythmic music is gaining in popularity.
The traditional Asian martial arts emphasize allowing ki (cosmic energy; also known as chi) to flow through one's body. This belief in ki connects the martial arts with t'ai chi ch'uan, a meditationlike displine that emphasizes slow, graceful body movements. The most popular form of individual exercise in China t'ai chi is often performed publicly in large groups; it has been claimed to reduce stress and lower blood pressure.
Source: Columbia Encyclopedia
The Men In Faith's Life
Ronnie: deadbeat, Steve: klepto, Kenny: drummer eventually I just had to face my destiny as a loser magnet. Now it's strictly get some get gone. You can't trust guys.
A word of advice vampries rarely knock especially in daylight. Gwendolyn
Training as in kicking, punching, stabbing? I'm your girl. Faith
Will On Secrets
You were scared you kept a secret you know that it's ok. Secrets aren't bad they're normal. They're better than normal they're good. Secrets are good. There must be a reason why we keep them right?
Well sure you do this big burden's been lifted. Keeping secrets is a lot of work one could hyptothecially imagine. Ok this will make me feel better right? You know I always considered myself a good person I floss, do my homework, never cheat but lately and please don't judge me on this but I want you to be the first to know that there's a demon behind you. Oh I I opened my SAT test booklet five minutes early. Doesn't seem important now.
Willow's Reaction To Her SAT Test Score
This is a nightmare. This is my world is spinning. 740 verbal? I I'm pathetic, illiterate. I'm Cleetus the slack jawed yokel. I just where did I go wrong?
What's classier than bowling? Xander
Bowling
Indoor sport also called tenpins, played by rolling a ball down an alley at ten pins. Bowling is one of the most popular particpatory sports in the United States where there are thousands of recreational leagues. A regulation bowling alley is made of polished wood and measures 41 to 42" wide and 60' from the foul line, where the ball is delivered, to the center of the head pin to the end of the alley. Bowlers (also called keglers) roll a ball made of rubber composite or plastic which has three or four finger holes.
A game consists of 10 frames, with two balls allowed a bowler in each frame. Each pin knocked down counts one point. Toppling all the balls down with the first ball is a strike and scores 10 points plus the total of the next two balls. Clearing the alley with two balls is a spare and scores 10 points plus the next one. A perfect game, 300 points requires 12 consectutive strikes.
Forerunners of modern bowling date back to at least 5200 BC in Egypt. A form similiar to today's, though using nine pins, was popular in Germany in the Middle Ages. Dutch settlers probably introduced the game in America. Tenpins, said to have devised to evade colonial laws against a nine pin game, became standard in the mid 19th century. The invention of automatic pin setting machines, and later in the 20th century television spurred the growth of bowling.
Source: Columbia Encyclopedia
Home Sweet Home
He's back again
Singing and drunk
Dumped by his girl
Utterly and totally miserable
Smashing up her dolls
Gets an idea to win her back
Snatches Red to cast a spell
Changes his mind
After a good spot of violence
Goes off to find her
To torture and woe her back again
Helpful Tip: Don't fall in the courtyard since you could go all flamey and turn into a big pile of dust. Run like hell to get to cover if you do. Pour some booze on your hand and take many swigs of booze.
Drowing In His Woes
She wouldn't even kill me. She just left. She didn't even care enought to cut off my head or set me on fire. I mean is that too much to ask? Some some little sign that she cared. It was that truce with Buffy that did it. Dru said I'd gone soft wasn't demony enough for the likes of her and I told her it didn't mean anything I was thinking of her the whole time she didn't care. So we got to Brazil and she was she just different. I gave her everything beautiful jewels, beautiful dresses with beautiful girls in them but nothing made her happy and she would flirt. I caught her on a park bench making out with a chaos demon? Have you ever seen a chaos demon? They're all slime and antlers. They're disgusting. But she only did it to hurt me so I said I'm not putting up with this anymore and she said fine. And I said yeah I've got an unlife you know and then she said she said we could still be friends. God I'm so unhappy. I mean friends how could she be so cruel? Hmm that smell, your neck. I haven't had a woman in weeks. Well unless you count that shopkeeper.
Spike's Insight
You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love til it kills you both. You'll fight and you'll shag and you'll hate each other til it makes you quiver but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains children it's blood. Blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch but at least I'm man enough to admit it.
I'm really glad I came here you know. I've been all wrong headed about this weeping, crawling, blaming everybody else. I want Dru back I just got to be the man that I was the man she loved. I'm gonna do what I should have done in the first place I'll find her wherever she is, tie her up, torture her until she likes me again. Love's a funny thing.
The Forbidden
Intense kept hidden
Stolen smoochies had
Locked up together
Fears of dying
Thinking it was the end
Unable to resist
Melted into a kiss
When the door flew open
Found together by those they were with
So upset that she fell through the floor
Getting herself impaled
Buffy Makes A Decision
I'm not coming back. We're not friends. We never were. And I can fool Giles. I can fool my friends but I can't fool myself or Spike for some reason. What I want from you I can never have. You don't need me to take care of you anymore so I'm gonna go. You have to. There is tell me that you don't love me.
Helpful Tips
1. When a octupus demon is strangling a person and they ask for a knife it sounds like nerf.
2. When you are rescuing someone it's best to knock first so you can avoid the pain of being impaled because you're too upset by what you saw to watch where you're going.
3. If the Joy Train doesn't come for you chocolate is always a good thing.
4. If there is a vamp that the Slayer is fighting you may want to get away from the garbage to avoid the humilation of having your so called friends call you Garbage girl with your dumpster chic for the dumped.
Xander Logic
But you know what bugs me ok we kissed it was a mistake but I know that was positively the last time we were ever gonna kiss. And they burst in rescuing us without even knocking. I mean this is really all their fault.
Anya On Harmony
If that girl had an original thought her head would explode.
Xander's Done With Guilt
Look you want to do guiltapalooza fine but I'm done with that. Starting this minut I'm gonna grab ahold of that crazy little thing called life and I'm gonna let id do it's magical healie thing. What is done is done. Let's be in the moment. Behold the beauty that is now.
Look at her tears of a clown or is it grins of a sad person? Xander
Cordelia's Problem
You know what I've been asking myself a lot this last week? Why me? Why do I get impaled? Why do I get bitten by a snake? Why do I fall for an incredible loser? And you know I think I finally figured it out what my problem is it's Buffy Summers that's when all my trouble started when she moved here. Oh just pulled some stiches last night know why? Surprise it was Buffy's fault. Yeah I can use some luck and a stick with pointy sharp bits. If that Buffy wasn't I swear...I wouldn't have looked twice at Xander if Buffy hadn't made him marginally cooler by hanging with him. Yeah I swear. I wish Buffy Summers had never come to Sunnydale.
Be Careful What You Wish
Hurt and betrayed
She makes a wish
No idea what was in store
A town without the Slayer
The bane of her existence
Or so she thought
Ex boyfriend is dead
Sporting fangs with Willow
Clothes drab and dull
Saved by the White Hats
Only to later be killed
By the two vamps
A world that sucks
Thanks to a dead ditz's wish
Bored Now
Unable to go out
During the too long days
When the deadly rays burn
Can't hunt but still able to play
Having fun with the puppy
Promies to make him bark
An imprisoned Angel
Subject to her whims
Flinging lit matches
Loves to watch her go
Delighting in his screams
Anaynka
A patron saint of scorned women. She grants wishes. In order to defeat Anaynka one must destroy her power center this should reverse all the wishes she's granted rendering her mortal and powerless again.
The Master
Behold the technical wonder which is about to alter the very fabric of our society. Some have argued that such an advancement goes against our nature. They claim that death is our art. I say to them well I don't say anything to them because I killed them. Undeniable we are the world's superior race yet we've always been too paraochial too boung by the mindless routines of the predator. Hunt and kill. Hunt and kill. Titillating? Yes. Practical? Hardly. Meanwhile the humans with their pleabian minds have brought us a truly demonic concept mass production.
Cordelia's Wish
I wish that Buffy Summers had never come to Sunnydale. That would be cool. No wait I wish Buffy Summers had never been born. And I wish that Xander Harris never again knows the touch of a woman. And that Willow wakes up tomorrow covered in monkey hair. In fact I wish all men except maybe the dumb and the really beautiful kind disappear off the face of the earth. That would be so cool.
Bizzaro Land
With Buffy gone things would be quite different. Thanks to Cordy and her wish we get to experience what things would be like without a Slayer on the Hellmouth.
1. The Master would be free and living at the Bronze. Oddly Darla would be nowhere in sight.
2. Willow and Xander would be vampires since they weren't rescued by Buffy but they are a couple.
3. Buffy would be slaying in Ohio with some unknown Watcher.
4. Giles would be at the library with a group of people that fought vampires and tried to help people.
5. The White Hats which is Giles' team of slayerttes which include Oz, Larry, and Nancy.
6. A curfew would be in place sending foks in at sunset.
7. Dull drab clothes are worn to turn off vampires since they are attracted to bright colors.
8. Cordelia ends up dead at the pointy ends of the fangs of Willow and Xander which earns her the title dead ditz.
9. Angel would be locked up in a cell at the Bronze where he would be tortured by Willow who loved playing with her puppy.
10. When Buffy arrived she was quite different with scars and not big with the social skills.
11. In this world everyone gets killed but the quick thinking of Giles changes the world back and turns Anya into a human.
Bizarroland
A place where everything is changed
No Slayer to protect the residents
The Master has risen
Will and Xander are vamps
Angel is a puppy to be played with
Locked up and in chains
Will's favorite toy
To while away the hours of the day
The two pierced Cordelia's neck
Draining her before Gile's eyes
At the factory they met their demise
Xander's Christmas Plans
Well I'll be enjoying my annual Christmas Eve campout. See I take my sleeping bag outside and go to sleep on the grass. Yeah I like to look at the stars, feel the whole nature vibe.
Insomnia
Abnormal wakefulness or inability to sleep. The conditon may result from illness or physical discomfort, or it may be caused by stimulants such as coffee of drugs. However, frequently some psychological factor, such as worry or tension, is the cause. Mild insomnia may often be relieved by a soothing activitiy like reading or listening to soft music. Many patients respond to the assurance that their sleeplessness is a result of normal anxieties or a treatable disorder. Opportunities to ventilate anxieties often ease distress and helps resume normal sleeping patterns. Elderly persons are encouraged to exercise more during the day; instructed relaxation, administration of tryptophan, and intake of warm milk helps some patients sleep. Sedatives and hypnotic drugs may be employed if the sleeplessness is impairing the subject's sense of well being. Those who wake because of pain receive aspirin at bedtime; for those who experience insomnia accompanied with depression a tiycyclic antidepressant often suffices.
Source: Columbia Encyclopedia
The First
Trouble sleeping? I'm always here. I can't you won't let me. I wanted to die in bed surrounded by fat grandchildren but guess that's off the menu. You're sorry for me? Don't bother I'm dead I'm over it. If you want to feel sorry for someone you should feel sorry for yourself. Oh but I guess you already got that covered. I dont' want to make you feel better. I just want to show you who you are.
The thing I remember most was thinking how artful it was. In the dark they looked just like they were sleeping. It wasn't until I bent down and kissed them goodnight that I felt how cold they were. You grabbed me and I thought who would go to so much trouble to arrange them like that but you see that's what makes you different than other beasts. They kill to feed but you took more kinds of pleasure in it than any other creature that walks or crawls. Yeah cry out. Make a scene. I was to be married that week but then as I recall you knew that. It wasn't you? Oh yes and what a man you were a drunken, whoring layabout and a terrible disappoint to your parents. To die of syphilis? You were a worthless being before you were ever a monster. I don't want to hurt you Angel but you have to understand cruelty is the only thing you ever had a true talent for. Shh! Rest, rest. You mistake it for a curse Angel but it's not. It's your destiny. I'll show you. I'll show you.
You want her take her. Take what you want. Pour all that guilt and frustration into her and you'll be free. You can't live for eternity with all that pain. This is what you are this is why we brought you back. Take her and then you'll be ready to kill her.
The Bringers of Harbingers
They're high priests of the First. They can conjure spirit manifestations and send them on people. You can't fight the First Buffy it's not a physical being.
The First
She wants you to touch her. What are you waiting for? She wants you to taste her. Think of the peace you'll never have to see us again.
You have to do it what else you good for? Couldn't you just feel her? Couldn't you almost smell her skin. You never were a fighter Angel don't start trying now. Sooner or later you will drink her. You were born to hurt her have you learned nothing. As long as you are alive. You don't have the strength to kill yourself. You're not supposed to die this isn't the plan but it'll do.
The child shall be born of man and goat and have two heads and the first shall speak only in riddles. No wonder you like this stuff it's like reading the sun. Buffy
For they are the harbingers of death nothing shall grow above or below them. No seed shall flower neither in man nor their rebels and they'll never be any good.
Tormented Angel
I can smell the sunrise long before it comes. It wasn't haunting me. It was showing me what I am and I ever shall be. I wanted to know why I was back. Now I do. I can't do it again Buffy. I can't become a killer. It's too hard. It told me to kill you. You were in the dream. You know. It told me to lose my soul in you and become a moster again. Because I wanted to because I want you so badly. I want to take comfort in you, and I know it'll cost me my soul, and a part of me doesn't care. I'm weak. I've never been anything else. It's not the demon in me that needs killing Buffy it's the man.
Buffy's Thoughts On The Sitch
You're weak. Everybody is. Everybody fails. Maybe this evil did bring you back. But if it did it's because it needs you. And that means than you can hurt it. Angel, you have the power to do real good. To make amends. But if you die now then all that you ever were was a monster. Angel, please the sun is coming up.
Angel Still Tormented
What you think this is simple? You think there's an easy answer? You can never understand what I've done. Now go. Leave! Am I a thing worth saving huh? Am I a righteous man? The world wants me gone.
Buffy's Plea
What about me? I love you so much. And I tried to make it go away. I killed you and it didn't help. And I hate it! I hate that it's so hard and that you can hurt me so much. I know everything you did because you did it to me. Oh god I wish that I wished you dead. I don't. I can't. Strong is fighting. It's hard and it's painful and it's ever day. It's what we have to do. And we can do it together. But if you're too much of a coward for that, then I don't know what can. But do not expect me to watch. And don't expect me to mourn for you because...
Seeing Things
Images from his past
Seep into his dreams
Unable to sleep
Goes out for a walk
Sees them when awake
Dreams conecting them
Makes a decision
Goes out to watch the sun rise
It snows instead
The sun never rises
A sign that he must go on
Continue making amends
A Night Out
Turns up with snacks
Mom and daughter bonding
An outing of slaying
Seeing her daughter in action
Gruesome discovery made
Two kids dead on the merry-go-round
With symbols on their hands
Haunted by the two kids
On a witch hunt
Nearly burning their kids at the stake
The Vigil: Mayor Introduction
Hello everybody um I want to thank you all for coming. In the aftermath of such a tragic crime seeing you all here proves what a caring community Sunnydale is. Sure we've had our share of misfortunes but we're a good town with good people and I know that none of us will rest easy until this horrible murder is solved. With that in mind I make these words my pledge to you. Never Again! Now I ask you to give your attention to the woman who brought us all here tonight Joyce Summers.
Mr Mayor you're dead wrong. This is not a good town. How many of us have have lost someone who who just disappeared? Or got skinned? Or suffered neck rupture? And how many of us have been too afraid to speak out? I was supposed to lead us in a moment of silence but silence is this town's disease. For too long we've been plagued by unnatural evils this isn't our town anymore it belongs to the monster, the witches, and Slayers. I say it's time for the grownups to take Sunnydale back. I say that we start by finding the people who did this and making them pay.
The symbol: Used for a protection spell.
Lift a finger against me and you'll have to answer to Moo. Synder
Mothers Opposed to the Occult
Willow's Rebellion
No ma hear this I'm a rebel. I'm having a rebellion. Mom I'm not acting out I'm a witch. I I can make pencils float and I can summon the four elements. Ok two but four soon. And I'm dating a musician. I worship Beelezbulb. I do his bidding. Do you see any goats around? No because I sacrificed them. All bow before Satan. Prince of night I summon you. Come fill me with your black naughty evil.
Moo just wants to weed out the offensive material.
There is fringe theory held by few folklorists that some regional stories have actual very literal antecedents. Giles
Oz Translates
Fairy tales are real.
Giles Sharing The Knowledge
Some demons thrive by fostering hatred and persecution amongst the mortal animals not by destroying them but by watching them destroy each other. They feed us our darkest fear and turn peaceful communities into vigilantes.
How many times have you been knocked out anyway? I swear one of these times you're gonna wake up in a coma. Cordelia
Cordy Gets Tough
First of all posse passe. Second of all anyone with a teaspoon of brains knows not to take my flirting seriously especially with my extenuating circumstances. Rebound! Look it up!
Helpful Tip: Just because something has been done for centuries doesn't mean that it should continue. Also loving your Slayer isn't a crime after all they work closely together so naturally a bond occurs like a father and daughter.
Giles On The Cruciamentum
It's an archaic exercise in cruelty to lock her in this tomb weakened, defenseless, to unleash that on her. If any of the the Council still had actual contact witht he Slayer they would see. I'm the one in the thick of it.
Quintin's Thoughts
The Slayer is not just physical prowess. She must have cunning, imagination, a confidence derived from self reliance.
Oz and Xander Discuss Kryptonite
Xander: Maybe what we should be looking for is something like Slayer kryptonite.
Oz: Faulty methaphor kryptonite kills.
Xander: You're assuming I meant the green kryptonite I was referrring of course to the red kryptonite which drains him of his super powers.
Oz: Wrong the gold kyrptonite is the power sucker. The red kyrptonite mutates Superman into some kind of weird...
What If I Become Pathetic?
I've seen too much. I know what goes bump in the night not being able to fight. What if I just hide under my bid all scared and helpless or what if I just become pathetic? Hanging out at the old Slayer's home talking people's ears off about my glory days showing them Mr Pointy the stake I had bronzed.
Love At First Sight
I saw you before you became the Slayer. I watched you and I saw you called. It was a bright afternoon out in front of your school. You walked down the steps and I loved you. Because I could see into your heart. You held it before you for everyone to see and I worried that it would be bruised or torn and more than anything in my life I wanted to keep it safe. To warm it with my own.
Helpful Tips: Take this statement as beautiful not gross. When the hot vampire offers to walk you home say yes especially when you're not at full Slayer strength.
Hummers, big turn off I like guys that can remember the lyrics. Buffy
Zachary Kravik
As a mortal he murdered, tortured more than a dozen women before he was committed to an asylum for the criminally insane when a vamp...
Quintin's Parting Words
We're not in the business of fair Miss Summers we're fighting a war.
You know nothing's really gonna change. The important thing is that I kept up my special birthday tradition of gut wrenching misery and horror.
Yeah I'm fine the the shaking is a side effect of the fear. Willow
Tip top really if anyone sees my spine laying around just try not to step on it. Xander
Xander On Cool
It's just that it's buggin me this cool thing. I mean what it is? How do you get it? Who doesn't have it and who decides who doesn't have it? What is the essence of cool? I mean you yourself Oz are considered more or less cool. Why is that? Is it about the talking? You know the way you tend to express yourself in short noncommittal phrases. No you're in a band that's like a business class ticket to cool with complimentary mojo after take off. I gotta learn an instrument. Is it hard to play guitar? Ok but on the other hand I'm taking the flugal horn and getting zero trim. So the whole instrument thing could be a mislead. I need a thing one thing that nobody else has. What do I have? Now with mocking which I can handle because I know I'm right about this. I'm on the track. I just need to find my thing.
His Thing
Insulted by his ex
It really stings
On a mission
The way of being cool
Needs to find his thing
On a donut run
With his shiny new car
That isn't a penis metaphor
Told to stay away
Protecting him from danger
Meets a girl into cars
Runs into some major trouble
He finally got laid
With Faith of all girls
Not so useless after all
Stops the nefarious plot
A dead guy with a bomb
Looking to blow up the school
Risen from the grave
Snacked on by the escaped Oz
Helpful Tips
1. When trying to find out a plan involving a bomb grabbing the dead guy is good but keep it short and sweet or keep your eyes peeled for mailboxes since that ends the conversation since decapitated dead guys aren't much for talking.
2. Axes are good for chopping and soda machines make excellent smashers when you've got a dead guy after you.
3. Note to self: Talk less.
4. To annoy bitchy comments made by your ex just smile and keep walking.
Xander's Lack Of Fear
Yeah looks like so I guess the question really is who has less fear. Yeah but this is different. Being blowed up isn't walking around and drinking with your buddies dead. It's little bits being swept up by a janitor dead and I don't think you're read for that. I like the quiet. Good boy. I don't think I want to be seeing you on campus anymore Jack.
Helpful Tip: Actually wait until the count of three to act.
I feel your pain Will like right now I'm caught between the fast growing fields of appliance repair and motel management. Of course I'm still waiting to hear back from the Corndog Emporium so...
Helpful Tips
1. Saying the same word three times doesn't make it three words.
2. Pick three different words to be your key words.
3. Add lavender to remove the stinky for spell stuff.
4. Just add electricity to fry the big ugly.
5. When it's six against one it's best to hide.
6. Play dead for the dumb vamp and stake him.
7. If a person has a twitch when a certain name is mentioned that means something is up.
8. Seeing blood after staking is a very bad sign since vamps just go to dust but humans bleed.
Wesley The Weenie
Of course training procedures have been updated quite a bit since your day much greater emphasis is on field work. Oh yes we're not all books and theory nowadays. I have in fact faced two vampires myself under controlled circumstances of course.
A good Slayer is a cautious Slayer. Wesley
Giles' First Diary Entry
The Slayer is willful and insolent. Her abuse of the English language is such that I understand only every other sentence.
I hate it when they drown me. Buffy
Faith On Being A Slayer
Life of a Slayer is very simple. Want. Take. Have.
You're still not looking at the big picture B. Something made us different. We're warriors. We were built to kill..
To kill demons but it does not mean we get to pass judgement on people, like we're better than everybody else. Buffy
We are better. That's right. Better. People need us to survive.
Bad Girls
A bad influence
Getting off on the violence
Makes one hungry and horny
Want, take, have
Is her special way
Eager for a fight
Loving it too much
A walk on the wild side
Stake to the heart
Instead of dust appearing
Blood starts flowing
Dead by her hands a human
Doesn't even care
Above all and the rest
Tries to hide the body
Push the blame aside
Fester Free
I want to be fester free. I mean don't get me wrong I completely understand why you and Faith have been doing the bonding thing. You guys work together. You should get along. But see it's that exact thing that's ticking me off it's the whole Slayers only attitude. Hey since when wouldn't I understand. You talk to me about everything. It's like all of a sudden I'm not cool enough for you because I can't kill things with my bare hands. Oh oh Buffy don't cry. I'm sorry. I was too hard on you sometimes I unleash. I don't know my own strength. It's bad. I'm bad. I'm a bad, bad, bad, bad person.
The Slayer is on the front line of a nightly war. I mean it's tragic but accidents have happened. Well the Council investigates, mets out punisment if due. Giles
Code Word: Monkey
Helpful Tip: Make sure you know how to spell it since it may be asked of you. Break out that dictionary now and start the studying.
In conversation I'm quick as a bunny. Xander
Faith On Connections
You want to feel a connection it's just skin. I see. I want. I take. I forget. I could do anything to you right now and you want me to. I could make you scream. I could make you die.
You want to go around the long way around hey I can do that I'm not getting any older. Angel
Angel Therapy
I know what's going on with you. But I know what it's like to take a life to feel the future. A world of possibilities snuffed out by your own hand. I know the power in it, the exhillaration it was like a drug for me. A professional couldn't have helped me. It stopped when I got my soul back. My human heart. Faith you have a choice. Hey you've tasted what few ever do. I mean to kil without remorse is to feel like a god but you're not a god. You're not much more than a child. Going down this path will ruin you. You can't imagine the price for true evil. You and me Faith we're a lot alike a time was I though humans existed just to hurt each other then I came here. And you know I found out that there were other types of people. People who genuinally wanted to do right and they make mistakes it's all they know but they keep caring. They keep trying. If you can trust us Faith this can all change. You don't have to disapear into the darkness.
By the order of the Watcher's Council of Britain I'm exercising my authority and removing you to England where you will accept a judgement of the disciplinary committee. I'm sorry for the extreme measures. Unfortunately this is a rather extreme circumstance. Please believe nobody is rushing to judgement. The first priority for both myself and the Council is to help you.
Guilt
Dreams of the man
That was killed
She tries to kill her too
Not the murderer
But weighed with the guilt
Just the same
Pitted against each other
Trying to place the blame
A big fat liar
Not a very good one
The truth is known
A Choice
At a cross roads
Got a taste for blood
Now a choice to make
The path to evil
A terrible burder to bear
Attempted to strangele Xander
Put in chains
Talk some sense
May be getting through
When it went downhill
An incompent Watcher
Comes in and screws it up
Who hasn't a clue
Makes a bad situation worse
Choice is made
She chooses the enemy
But does one good deed
Before shooting the poisoned arrow
Vengeance
Impaled and broken hearted
Vengeance appeared to her
Ready to grant the scorned one's wish
Bizzaroland was formed
Everything was all wrong
The boring clothes
No Slayer in town made things worse
Willow and Xander together as vamps
Eating her in the end
Last words were said
Giles sent for the Slayer
Called on Anyanka
Destroyed her power center
Turning things back
Vengeance turned to a mortal girl
Flunking math what a drag
Determined to get it all back
Anya's Not A Happy Camper
For a thousand years I wielded the powers of the wish. I brought ruin to the heads of unfaithful men. I brought forth destruction and chaos for the pleasure of the lower beings. I was feared and worshipped across the mortal globe and now I'm stuck at Sunnydale High mortal, a child, and I'm flunking math. Give me another chance you can fold the fabric of time. Send me back to that place and I'll change it. I won't fail again. Do you have any idea how boring twelfth graders are? I'm getting my power center back and if you won't help me then by the pestilent gods I will find someone who will.
Fuzzy And Leather
A case of the crankies
Mentions changing her look
Another appears identical
Kicks the annoying Percy around
Two very different
One with a set of fangs
The other with a pulse
Skanky and kinda gay
Ends up helping out
Loves to torment
With a hint of torture
Offers an eternity
Wanna be bad
To her living twin
Offer was refused
Sent back to her reality
Only to get stake in the end
I'm eating this now. It's not lunchtime. I don't even care. Willow
Helpful Tip: Old Reliable may not be intended as an insult but it sure as Hell isn't a sex nickname.
Willow's Cranky
Maybe I don't want to be reliable all the time. Maybe I'm not just some doormat person, homework gal. Maybe I'll change my look or cut class you don't know. And I'm eating this bananna lunchtime be damned.
Temporal Fold Spell
Eryishon, K'shala
Men-uhn
Diprecht Do Tehen Lo
Nu Eryishon
The child to the mother
The river to the sun
Eryishone hear my prayer.
Helpful Tip: Don't get sacred sand on your hand since the spell can go all wonky and bring the evil twin to this reality instead of the necklace you were looking for.
Pretending
I killed her and sucked her blood as we vampires do. I don't like that you dare question me maybe I'll have my minions take you out back and kill you horribly. She bothered me so meek and accomadating. She's always letting people walk all over her and then she gets cranky with her friends for no reason. I just couldn't let her live. I don't know if I feel like killing anymore. I'm so bored. It would be like shooting fish in a barrel. Where's the fun? Maybe we should let everyone go and give them a thirty second head start.
Cordelia Has Her Say
Wait it occurs to me that we've never really had the opportunity to talk woman to woman with you locked up. What could we talk about? Hey how about the ethics of boyfriend stealing. And ok it even like I was that attrated to him. It was more that we just kept being put in these life or death situations and that's always sexy and stuff. I mean I'm more or less knew he was a loser but that doesn't make it ok for you to come around and...
Willow's Guilt For Her Evil Twin
Strangely I feel like staying at home and doing my homework and flossing, and dying a virgin. Between me and my evil self I have double guilt coupons. I see now where the path of vice leads. She messed up everything she touched. I don't ever want to be like that.
Demons after money whatever happened to the still beating hear of a virgin? No one has any standards anymore.
Helpful Tip: Get a receipt if you bribe someone to get information so the Council will reimburse you.
Dark Side
Working for the mayor
Enjoys the killing
Plots to steal his soul
Joining their side
Or so they think
It was a fake out
Finding out the plans
Soul was never gone
Kiss not enjoyed
Did what needed to be done
Willow's Thoughts On Faith
Faith would totally do that. Faith was built to do that. She's the do that girl. I mean does Angel come up to Faith's standards for a guy. Let's see is he breathing? But Buffy, Angel there's no way he would ever do that. I mean you're the only thing in the world to him. But it's so clear the way he feels about you. Buffy I too know the love of a taciturn man and you have to look at their actions.
Helpful Tips: A vampire doesn't breathe. Ask if the actions look wonky since there could be a totally reasonable explanation.
Helpful Tip: Angel: Calls her Buffy. Angelus: Calls her Buf.
It's good to have the taste of a Slayer back in my mouth it's like cigarrettes you know. Just when I thought I quit.
Attitude may get you attention but courtesy gets you respect. Richard
You know I never properly thanked you for sending me to Hell. Yeah I'm just wondering where do I start a card, fruit basket, eviseration? I know what you're thinking maybe there's still some good deep down that remembers and loves you if only you can reach me. Then again we live in reality.
Faith Shares
See when I was a kid I used to beg my mom for a dog. Didn't matter what kind. I just wanted you know something to love. A dog's all I wanted well that and toys. But mom was so busy you know enjoying the drinking and passing out parts of life that I never really got what I wanted until now.
You know I come to Sunnydale. I'm a Slayer. I do my job kicking ass better than anyone. What do I hear about everywhere I go? Buffy. So I slay. I behave. I do the good little girl routine and who does everyone thank? Buffy. Everyone always asks why can't you be more like Buffy? But did anyone ever ask if you could be more like me? You get the Watcher. You get the mom. You get the little Scooby gang. What do I get? Jack squat this was supposed to be my town. Why so you can impart some special Buffy wisdom that it? Do you think you're better than me? Do you? Say it you think you're better than me. Oh maybe you didn't notice Angel's with me.
You had to tie me up to beat me. There's a word for people like you Faith. Loser Buffy
You can't. Keep dreaming. No one can stop the ascension. The mayor's got it wired B. He built this town for demons to feed on and come graduation day he's getting paid. I'll be sitting at his right hand assuming he has hands afte the transformation. I'm not too clear on that part. And all you little lame ass friends are gonna be Kibble 'n Bits. Think about that when your boyfriend's cutting into you. What can I say I'm the world's best actor?
Yes I feel so much better knowing that he broke my face in a good way. It's a good bruise. Xander
No mouth means no teeth unless they're somewhere else. Buffy
Freddie Iverson On Pep Rallies
The pep rally is the place for pseudo prositutes to provoke men into a sexual frenzy which when thwarted result in pointless athletic competition.
I love you even if you're covered in slime. Angel
The Aspect
Fought off some demons
With now mouths
Was able to kill one
Got an aspect
A good touch
Not a bad one
Worries filled her
Thoughts of growing a tail
Or sprouting some horns
Started hearing thoughts
Fun at first
Peeking into minds
Turns into a nightmare
Can't shut them out
A bad side effect
Could drive her mad
Killed the demon
Fed her the heart
Silent and alone
And saved the day
The thoughts are there but they create no reflection in you. Angel
In 243 years I've loved exactly one person. Angel
Oz's Thoughts
I am my thoughts. If they exist in her Buffy contains everything that is me and then she becomes me. I cease to exist. No one else exists, either Buffy is all of us. We think, therefore she is.
Xander's Thoughts
What am I gonna do? I think about sex all the time. Sex. Help! 4x5 is 30. 5x6 is 32. Naked girls. Naked women. Naked Buffy. Oh stop me!
Dingoes Review
Dingoes Ate My Baby played their instruments as if they had plump Polish sausages taped to their fingers.
Jonathan's Suicide Note
By this time tomorrow you'll all know what I've done. I'm sure you understand that I had to do it and that although death is never easy it's the only way.
Buffy On Life
My life happens to, on ocassion, suck beyond the telling of it, sometimes more than I can handle. And it's not just mine. Every singlep erson down there is ignoring your pain because they're too busy with their own. The beautiful ones. The popular ones. The guys that pick on you. If you could hear what they were feeling, the loneliness, the confusion. It looks quiet down there. It's not. It's deafening.
Everything in life is foreign territory. Xander
Cordy's Thoughts On Colleges
Oxford whopee four years in Teabag Center sounds thrilling. And MIT is a Clearasil ad with housing. And Yale is a dumping ground for those who didn't get into Harvard.
Helpful Tip: Don't use the word suck around vampires since it could make them hungry.
Left Behind
Did her part
Working the mojo
Caught by the psycho
Makes a trade
Time put to good use
Finds a pencil
Dusts a vamp
Snoops around
Finds the books
Rips away some pages
She really comes through
Willow Stands Up To Faith
It's way too late. You know it didn't have to be this way but you made your choice. I know you had a tough life. I know that some people think you had a lot of bad breaks. Well boohoo. Poor you. You know you had a lot more in your life than some people. I mean you had friends like Buffy. Now you have no one. You were a Slayer and now you're nothing. Just a big selfish, worthless waste.
The Mayor Shares The Downside Of Being An Immortal In Love With A Mortal
You're immortal, she's not. It's not easy. I married my Edna Mae in aught three and I was with her right until the end. Not a pretty scene. Wrinkled and senile and cursing me for my youth, it wasn't our happiest time. And let's forget the fact that any moment of true happiness will turn you evil. What kind of life can you offer her? I don't see a lot of Sunday picnics in the offing. Skulking in the shadows, hiding from the sun she's a blossoming young girl! You want to keep her from the life she should have till it's passed her by and by God I think that's a little selfish> Is that what you came back from hell for? Is that your greater purpose?
Hard Choices
I don't have to tell you that you and Buffy come from different worlds. Good, Because when it comes to you Angel, Buffy's not a Slayer. She's just like any other young woman in love. You're all she can see of tomorrow. But I think we both know there's gonna be some hard choices ahead. If she can't make them you're going to have to. I know you care about her. I just hope you care enough.
Anya Asks Xander To The Prom
That's right the power of the wish made me a righteous source to smite the unfaithful. You know you can laugh but I have witnessed a millenium of treachery and oppresion from the males of the species and I have nothing but contempt for the whole libidinous lot of them. I don't have a date for the prom. Men are evil. Will you go with me.
Helpful Tip: Lose the chains on the wall. Although keep them around since they may come in handy. When training hellhounds to attack the prom show horror movies like Carrie etc. Buy your cow brains from the butcher. The sewer is a horrible place to break up with a girl. Also lose the cryptic.
Into this holy estate these two person present have come to be joined. If any man can show just cause why they shouldn't be lawfully joined together, let him speak now or else here and after hold his peace. Bless, O, Lord this ring that he who gives it and who who wears it shall abide in thy peace and continue in thy favor through Christ our Lord Amen.
Angel's Breakup Speech
I think we need to talk but not now not here. I've been thinking it's about our future and the more I do the more that I feel like us, you and me being together is unfair to you. He was right. You deserve more. You deserve something outside demons and darkness. You should be with someon who can take you into the light. Somone who can make love to you. You will. And children. Today. But you have no idea how fast it goes Buffy before you know it you'll want it all a normal life. Right you'll always be a Slayer but that's all the more reason why you should have a real relationship instead of this this freakshow. I didn't mean that. I'm sorry. Buffy you know how much I love you it kills me to say this. I'm trying to do what's right here. I'm trying to think withmy head instead of my heart.
Buffy's Response
Heart you have a heart it isn't even beating. Don't what? Don't love you? I'm sorry you know what I didn't know that I got a choice in that. I'm never gonna change I can't change. I want my life with you. You don't want to be with me? I can't believe you're breaking up wit me. How am I supposed to stay away from you?
The Prom
Determined to have fun
Heartache at the breakup
Focuses on her friends
Giving them a special night
Finds out about a plot
To ruin the prom
Hell hounds trained to attack
Anyone in formal wear
Killed the beasties
Got a special award
One last dance
With her true love
Got her perfect moment
Ended so quick
I think horrible is still coming right now it's worse. Right now I'm just trying to keep from dying. I can't breathe Will. I feel like I can't breath.
Just stopped by for my daily helping of vile. Xander
No you guys are gonna have a prom. The kind of prom that everyone should have. I'm gonna give you all a nice, fun, normal evening if I have to kill every single person on the face of the earth to do it. Buffy
Ice cream will come first I want to take out psycho boy. Great thing about being a Slayer kicking ass is comfort food. Buffy
Added bonus: It also burns calories.
Class Protector
We're not good friends. Most of us never found the time to get to know you but that doesn't mean we haven't noticed you. We don't talk about it but it's no secret that Sunnydale High isn't really like other High Schools. A lot of weird stuff happens here zombies, hyenna people, Synder. But whenever there was a problem or something creepy happened you seemed to show up and stopped it. Most of the people here have been saved by you or helped by you at one time or another. We're proud to say that the Class of 99 has the lowest mortality rate of any graduating class in Sunnydale history. And we know that is because of you so the Senior Class offers its thanks and gives you this. It's from all of us and it has written here Buffy Summers Class Protector.
For god's sake man she's eighteeen and you have the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone. Just have at it would you and stop fluttering about. Giles
Xander On Maroon And Other Stuff
I like the maroon has more dignity. I just want to look respectable in this considering I'm probably gonna die in it. I'm tellin ya I woke up today with this feeling in my gut. I just know there's no way I'm getting out of this school alive. I've been lucky too many times. My number's coming up and now we're short. One more rotation and my ship's deadside. Know what I mean?
Anya Asks Xander Out
Hi. So I was wondering maybe if you were free this weekend maybe we could do some entertaining thing. Well we could do something else you like. We could um watch sports of some kind. Men like sports I'm sure of it.
Xander On Men
Yes men like sports. Men watch the action movie. They eat of the beef and enjoy looking at the bosoms.
Gonna Miss This Place
Missig P.E. even
Signing yearbooks
Of a vacuous tramp
That tormented her for years
Missing the school
The trusty soda machine
Giving the wrong drink
A coke instead of Root Beer
Could be contagious
Buzzing with excitement
As the big day approaches
Wearing the maroon
Lending an air of dignity
Anya One Of The Few Survivors Of An Ascension
About 800 years ago in the Kaskvo Valleys above the Urals there was a sorcerer there who achieved ascension. Became the embodiment of the demon Lohesh. I was there cursing a sheperd who'd been unfaithful. His wife had wished that all his sheep would lie...Sorry. Um Lohes was...It It decimated the village within hours. Maybe three people got out. I've seen some horrible things in my time and life. I've been the cause of most of them, actually but this...
Anya On Pure Demons
You've never seen a demon. All the demons that walk the earth are tainted, are human hybrids like vampires. The ascension means that a human becomes pure demon they're different. Well for one thing they're bigger.
Anya Skedaddles
Anywhere. If there's a lunar shuttle going up any time soon I'm on it. Or I might be able to live. You can't stop the ascension Xander you were right the first time. The only thing any sane person can do now is run.
My First
A boyfriend I finally have
He has such nice hands
Plays in a band
I think I'm a groupie
Saved my life
Took a bullet for me
Feelings grew
Love sprang forth
Bumps along the road
Nearly wrecked things
Time made all well again
Problems were worked out
Joined together in love
Buffy On Graduation
Graduation is a pointless ceremony where you sit around and listen to a bunch of boring speeches till someone hands you a piece of paper that says you graduated which you already know and maroon does nothing for my complexion so don't argue ok.
Mom I know that sometimes you wish I were different. I wish I could be a lot of things for you a great student, a star athlete, remotely normal. I'm not but there is something I can do better than anyone else in the world. I'm gonna fight this thing but I can't do it and worry about you. You stay you'll get me killed. You have to trust me on this. Can you do that?
Firecracker
My mom used to call me that when I was little. I was always running around.
When I was a kid a couple miles outside Boston there was this quarry and all the kids used to swim there and jump off the rocks. And there was this one rock like forty feet up. I was the onlyo ne that would jump off it. All the other kids were too scared. No I could do it easy.
Anya's Thoughts
When I think that something could happen to you it feels bad inside like I might vomit. It's horrible no wonder I used to get so much work.
Missed The Heart
Shot with a poison arrow
Falls to the floor
Growing quite weak
Lying in bed
Searching for a cure
Burning up with fever
State of delireum
All he sees is her
Cure is found
Blood of the Slayer
Does the trick
Killer of the dead poison: Drain the blood of a Slayer.
Drink Me
The choice was clear
Can't watch him die
A fight to the death
Gutted with her knife
Fell down to the street below
Landing on a passing truck
No other way to save him
Forced him to drink
Saved his life
Joined in the fight
Battle was won
So off he went
With no goodbye
Darkness will follow and day becomes night.
 Graduation Speech
Well what a day this is. A special day. Today is our Centennial the 100th Anniversary of the founding of Sunnydale, and I know what that means to you kids not a darn thing. Because today, something more important happens. Today you all graduate from High School. Today all the pain, all the work, all the excitement is finally over. What's a 100 years of history compared to that? You know what kids maybe you have a place in Sunnydale's history whether you like it or not. It's been a long road getting here for you, for Sunnydale. There's been greif. There's been loss, some people who should be here today aren't. But we are. Journey's end. Now what is a journey is it just distance traveled, time spent? No it's what happens on the way. It's the things that shape you. At the end of the journey you're on is the same. Today is about change. Graduation doesn't just mean your circumstances change it means you do. You ascend to a higher level. Nothing will ever be the same nothing. And so as we look back on the events that have brought us to this day.
Due to the fact that the Mayor turned into a gigantic snake demon the speech was cut short. 
The Principal
Synder
The troll comes to Sunnydale High
To replace the dead Flutie
Who was eaten by hyenna people
A mean little man
With the look of a rat
Took Tae Kwan Doe at the Y
Beady little eyes staring
Causing trouble for Buffy and everyone else
Getting off on causing sorrow
Got what he deserved in the end
Eaten by the giant snake
That was once the Mayor
Sadly he won't be missed
The Mayor
More than meets the eye
The Mayor of Sunnydale
Not exactly human
A total germaphobe
Has big plans for this town
Takes Faith under his wing
In the midst of his speech
He turns into a giant snake
Eats Synder as a treat
Chases Buffy to his demise
Unable to be killed while in human form
As a snake he gets blown up
Leaving pieces of him behind
And Sunnydale High is no more
The Crush
Liking what she sees
A growing attraction
Dancing at the prom
Heading back home
Off to England
With his sexy accent
Just to see
They melt into a kiss
With no spark
Trying a second time
With the same results
Fire bad. Tree pretty.
Guys take a moment to deal with this we survived. Not the battle high school. We're taking a moment. And we're done.
Won't Say Goodbye
Unable to stay a painful choice was made
Love that can't be acted upon
A great sacrifice
Left town after graduation
Not a word was said
Eyes meet across the street
Seeing that she was all right
He disappeared into the night
Queen C Leaves
Once rich and fashionable
She helps at graduation one final time
Leaving Sunnydale behind
Unable to go to college
She heads off to where she longed to be
To be near all those shoes
LA awaits her bringing a new start
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