 Requirements On Being A Lawyer At Wolfram & Hart
1. Must be well educated since you are going to have to be clever at getting your clients off whatever crimes they commit. Remember they are always innocent even though they are guilty.
2. You must not have any kind of conscience since that could get in the way of doing your job.
3. Dressing well presents a good image when you are weaseling your client out of various crimes.
4. Be willing to get your hands bloody so you can't be in the slightest bit sqeamish since you may be called to draw blood for rituals or other purposes.
5. Stab others in the back before they can stab you. Look out for yourself since everyone is out to get you so better to strike before they do.
6. Trust no one. It is a big mistake to place your trust in someone since they are probably trying to get ahead by climbing over your cold dead body. Play along but don't really place your trust in those that seem too nice.
7. Sell your soul since it's not doing you any good anyway so you may as well put it to some use.
8. If you should happen to gain a conscience at some point be sure to know which files to take to protect yourself.
9. Read the fine print and realize that eternal flames mean exactly that not to mention having to continue your work after your life.
10. Be aware that while you are paid well there is a heavy price to pay since you're likely to have a shorter life span than the average person. Also you'll also probably continue working past your death so read the fine print before signing in blood.
Lindsey McDonald
A lawyer on the fast track
Well dressed man
Evil on the surface
Lines won't cross
Children he saved
Went back to evil
Lost hand in his duty
Hand was restored
A new life
Left evil behind
Grew a conscience
Taking files as protection
Making a fresh start
Lilah Morgen
An evil lawyer
Service with a smile
Working her way up
Doing what it takes
To reach the top
Promotion was won
Getting clients off
Eliminating witnesses
Providing services for evil
Holland Manners
Up in the ranks
In the evil biz
Caring for clients
Charity work for cash
Steal them blind
Met a bloody death
By one of the fang gang
That he brought back
Gavin Parks
A cocky lawyer
Arrogant and sure
Knocked down a peg or two
Knew his place
Fetching coffee for Lilah
Tried to make his escape
From the killer beast
Tossed against the wall
Was dead instantly
Zombie lawyer arises
The poor bastard
Head rolls as the axe strikes
Nathan Reed
One of thehigher ups
A man of few words
Thick black glasses
Sit upon his face
With a round bald head
Kinda looks like an owl
The Little Girl
Face of innocence
But inside evil resides
In the white room
Above Wolfram & Hart
Liking trouble
But hating chaos
Sucked dry by the Beast
Left an empty vessel
Mesektet is no more
Wolfram & Hart is a full service law firm. It's our job to make sure that our clients lives run more smoothly.
Important Clients
Provide alibi
False witnesses
Procure food for vamps
Video potential meals
Getting Clients Off
Any furthur violation of his rights and there will be serious repercussions. It means we will open this case to the court of public opinion. It means that we'll shine the light in the darkest corners of this precint and give the people a view of the brutality and callousness of this police force that will make Mark Furhman look like Gentle Ben.
Helpful Tips
Don't risk exposure.
Drop clients that are a liability.
In The Courtroom
Now the arguments that the district attorney here has presented are somewhat entertaining. The case hinges on testimony from witnesses they have been unable to produce.
Witness Tampering
Witness tampering is a serious allegation counselor and we will be filing a grievance for that remark at the end of the afternoon. They have no witness. They have no case. I request the dismissal of all charged against my client who's reputation has been irreparably damaged by this proceedings. He's a law abiding and upstanding citizen.
Accept Responsibility
I hate failure when there's no one else to blame it on. (Lindsey)
You call them back and tell them that's our drop dead offer and you make sure that they understand we mean literally not figuratively. (Lilah)
Covering Ass
Please understand that we would never advocate the killing of another human being.
I want you to make sure you understand this firm is in no way connected to anything you do. It's my ass on the line here. I don't want you to make me look bad.
We only serve a certain class of cliental. (Lindsey)
When word gets back to the Senior Partners this won't go over well. We conspired with her, paid her half up fron and now she makes us look like fools. So the question is how are we going to fix her?
Boohoo let me wipe away the tears with my plastic hand. Lindsey
Holland Manners
The world can be a dangerous place especially for our most vulnerable citizines our children. Far away from home with little money and even les shope too mahy runaways find themselves on the streets, over their heads and under society's radar. But there is a place right here in Lost Angeles that can help these troubled kids the Easthills Teen Center. It's a terrific refuge that we at Wolfram & Hart support 100%.
Exhort Money From Charities
Simple formula rich people pay to touch famous people, cameras catch all the not quite prostitutional action, pretty profitable and it all goes in the public consciousness as a good deed courtesy of Wolfram & Hart. It's really true. Charitiy gives you this warm glow you know.
Holland Manners
Can we really change the world? At Wolfram & Hart we're counting on it.
1951-2000
Lilah's Speech
Holland Manners is gone but I feel he's looking down on us tonight. Don't you feel it? The truth is Holland had a vision of the future most of us can't imagine. Let's make it come true together but now without a plea for money. Now let's get started. No, no, no we're not here to ask you for money. We're here to take it at gun point. Please welcome our celebrity bandits from the hit show Life Lessons Serena Tate, Holden Raynes, CJ McCar and Jordan John. Once again I'd like to thank our wonderful benefactors. Let me just say that we really can change the world. With your support we can make it a safer place for all our children.
Nathan's Lecture To Lilah and Lindsey
You embarrassed us all. You allowd $2 million earmarked for this firm to be lost and worst of all you violated company policy by hiring an assassin to kill Angel. An assassin who was in league with Angel. Sorry isn't acceptable. Holland Manners was a brillian lawyer, had a tremendous mind but I think he had a soft spot for the two of you which I believe clouded his judgement. I won't make that mistake. My advice to both of you start piling up wins fast.
Why Angel Can't Be Killed
Because Angel is a major play in the apocalypse. The prophecies all agree that when the final battle is waged he plays a key role. Which side he's on is the gray area and we're going to continue making it as gray as possible. Until then his growing obsession with the two of you the increasing possibility that to scratc that itch he'll go as far as to kill you well that could actually play in the firm's favor. It would be a sign that Angel is on the path to joining our team and as hard as it is to be good attories well the truth is you're both expendable Angel isn't.
Sacrifices
Make sure all troughs are securely fastened and sacrifices are tilted as shown in diagram F12 to ensure full drainage into sacred offering bowl. Using a clean diagonal motion slit throat of sacrifice with the pre blessed ceremonial dgger provided.
Holland Manners Works Beyond The Grave
Home Office wasn't it? I should mention that the trip is one way. Well if there's no objections I suggest we get going. It's rather a long ride. Well this is exciting isn't it going straight to the source? So what's the big plan Angel? Destroy the Senior Parters? Smash Wolfram & Hart once and for all. Now tell me just what do you imagine that would accomplish in the end I mean? Well the end of you certaily but I meant in the larger sense. Now I don't think that's true. Be honest you got the tiniest bit of give a crap left otherwise you wouldn't be going on this kamakaize mission. Now let me see thee was something in a sacred prophecy some oblique reference to you something that you're supposed to prevent. Now what was that? Yes the apocalypse of course another one of those. Well it's true we do have one scheduled and I imagine if you were to prevent it you would save a great many people. Well you should do that then absolutely I wasn't thinking. Of course all those people you save from that apocalypse would then have the next one to look forward to but hey it's always something isn't it? Well no of course we're not. We have no intention of doing anything so prosaic as winning. You see for us there is no fight which is why winning doesn't enter in it. We go on no matter what. Our firm has always been here in one form or anothe. The inquisition Gamar, rogue caveman clubbed his neighbor. You see we're in the hearts and minds of every single living being and that friend is what's making things so difficult for you. See the world doesn't work in spite of you Angel it works with us. It works because of us. Welcome to the Home Office. You see if there wasn't evil in every single one of them out there they wouldn't be people they'd all be angels. Have a nice day.
Lindsey's Farewell
I'm clearly the guy. You could have had it but you didn't have what it takes an evil hand. I mean come on who here does? Huh Leon doesn't. Charlie doesn't. You do know that you gave me an evil hand right? I've been writing kill, kill, kill on everything. It's crazy. It's crazy. Anything could happen. Alan how are you? Uh oh uh oh It's gonna hurt in the morning. Stop it evil hand stop it. I just can't control my evil hand. Ha ha! Nathan I'm so proud that you chose me Charlie but if I would have been in your shoes I would have chosen Lilah. Let me tell you why. Do you have any idea of the hours that this chick's logged in? Huh? The files she has on you guys deep stuff. Ronnie your stock manipulations, Nathan's little offshore accounts can you imagine if something were to happen to this girl and those files got back to the Senior Partners. They'd eat you alive. She's been working overtime boys. She's everything you ever dreamed of. Lilah is your guy. Me I'm unreliable I got these evil hand issues and I'm bored with this crap and besides I'm leaving so if you want to chase me be my guest. And remember evil.
The key to Wolfram & Hart don't let them make you play their game. You got to make them play yorus. Lindsey
If you don't tell me right now I'm going to have your skin peeled off and stapled back on inside out. Lilah
Lynwood Murrow
Heads are gonna roll if the Senior Parters hear about this. Darla pregnant how did we miss it? Man works hard, builds something, waters it, grows rich and powerful, leaves his wife for a younger beauty. These are the reasons we take certain blood oaths and to have it all vanish because...
We don't crucify here it's too Christian. Lilah
Lilah On Angel
Look if I had known you were torturing him I woldn't have interrupted. Please continue I'll wait until you're finished. Lilah
Yeah I knw vampire cursed by gyspies who restored his soul destined to atone for centuries of evil, wacky sidekicks yada yada. I'd have him killed myself except the people i work for have this policy.
I said I was a lawyer I don't care about the law. Lilah
No it shouldn't be fun. What it should be is done by morning or I'll have your family killed. Lilah
Lilah Morgan Clearance #01127733
Files And Records
Daniel Holtz vampire hunter circa 1754 hunted Angel and Darla halfway around the world until his mysterious disappearance in 1773. Page 412
1764 Angel and Darla kill Holtz, Caroline, and Holtz, Sarah and Holtz, Daniel infant son. Holtz vows to avenge their blood. May 1764 pursues Angel and Darla relentlessly for 9 years racking up an incidental body count of 378 vampires in the meantime.
Lilah On Connor
No I'm afraid you'll kill him before we have a chance to cut him open while he's still breathing and why out why in the hell he's breathing in the first place.
You mean other than tear out Angel's heart and wear it as a brooch. Lilah
We're in a war you can never win Lilah full of sticky moral quandaries. The side you choose should always be mine. Lynwood (In Charge Of Special Projects)
Little Girl In The White Room
About Sahjean
They were all about torture and death. Well they caused a lot of trouble. Don't get me wrong I like trouble but I hate chaos. So we chagned him. Now they watch and they can no longer touch. Well there's your special urn. They're expensive and hard to come by. You know these things come with a price.
Well I care as one human being to another. Just kidding! Lilah
Now my people will be voting for slaughter. Lilah
Wow, glad at times like this, glad I don't have a conscience. Lilah
Did I mention that Wolfram & Hart has the finest library of mystical occult, and supernature reference material in the world,.Lilah
Plus Benefits
Full medical, dental, 41K package
The worst spot in Hell is reserved for those who betray. Lilah
When a co-worker tries to pat you on the back I check for the knife. Lilah And Gavin
Nice try but unlike you Gavin I'm ahead of the game. Angel tried to kill his friend, kidnapped and tortured Lynwood and performed dark and forbidden magicks all on my watch. Lilah brags
Can we stop fanging now? Lilah
Confidential Email with a magick bug
Repercussions poetic justic. Gavin
Do you have a point or are you just waxing my desk with your ass for fun? Lilah
Maybe you can lead them in a rousing change and get them to muster up a little more vague. Lilah
If our purpose is to get caught with our prophecies down. Angel is supposed to be a major player in the apocalypse, the little pet project the Senior Partners have been working on since, oh the beginning of time. Lilah
But everything's my business. Lynwood
All right we've got a lot of ground to cvoer, so let's get right to it. But first let's talk about Lilah. Everybody had a chance to reveiw her file? Good. Recommendations? Lynwood
I think your record speaks for itself. Gavin
Volumes your failures at Wolfram & Hart far outstrip your successes by an uncomfortable margin. Perhaps you would fare better at a less central office.
I said I'm sorry I've made mistakes but fear was never one of them. Lilah
Lynwood Didn't Look
Lilah this is my corner of the sky. I decide when the sun rises and when it sets. Lack of long term has always been one of your shortcomings.
And lack of courage has always been one of yours. Lilah
You're afraid and fear breeds weakness.
Lilah On Mixing Colors
Funny thing about black and white you mix it together and you get gray. And it doesn't matter how much white you try to put back in you're never gonna get anything but gray.
Listen Frank I don't care if you have to lojack the that damn thing. Find that beast or I swear to go I will boil you alive. (boil you alive courtesy of Gavin) Lilah
How hard can it be to find a giant horned thing? Or a decent cup of coffee? Lilah
Button side of desk to summon security
We'll slive you open and start poking around. Lilah
Then we'll sit down and have a nice none violent conversation. Lilah
Tell him to stop whinning and give a report. Lilah
Ask yourself a question are you more afraid of a giant murderous demon or me? Lilah
Third floor and lobby: Exit in the supply closet a secret door
The building automatically shuts down under full scale attck all windows, doors, air vents, no one gets out.
White Room
18, 28, 27, 28
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